Sweat slid down my face again. A faint buzzing rose in my head. My mouth went dry. The cave's heat—which I thought I'd gotten used to—returned and hit me right in the face.
I swallowed hard.
'Shit. She knows. How? How does she know about witches?'
"H-how?" I stammered, while involuntarily crossing my legs to press them against the books. My body instinctively tried to hide them.
Milaine gave a small nod. She maintained a neutral expression as she followed with her gaze the direction where the books were.
"I suppose I wasn't wrong after all. I knew they were important," she said.
As I shifted my gaze between Milaine's face and the books between my legs, I remembered a brief moment.
It was when Livia was arguing with the shitty goddess. Before the Moderator appeared and she obtained her Gifts.
At that moment, Milaine ran over to us and handed me the books wrapped in the tablecloth.
I placed my free left hand into my pocket and searched for the pieces of tablecloth, ignoring the stained boxers that were there as well.
'No fucking way. She knew back then?'
Confusion, surprise, even a hint of fear. It all hit me at once.
I didn't know how she knew about it; only I and my future self knew about the witches.
Suddenly, I remembered we weren't alone. I hastily checked my notifications to see if the voyeur goddesses were watching.
[The God Who Would Do Anything for Money arrived at the domain of The Goddess Who Does Not Believe in Friendships]
[The Goddess Who Enjoys Battles is striking at the entrance to the domain of the Goddess Who Does Not Believe in Friendships]
[The God Who Would Do Anything for Money is bargaining with the Goddess Who Does Not Believe in Friendships]
[The Goddess...]
I sighed in relief.
'At least those two idiots aren't spying on me this time.'
However, there was another notification that seemed to mock my recently won moment of peace.
[The Goddess Who Dislikes Gods understands your nature a little better]
'Ah, shit. There goes the secret. Tch—fuck me.' Before I could curse my luck, or blame Adversity, Livia brought me back to reality.
She massaged my hand while looking at me, with evident concern on her face.
"What's wrong, Leo? Are you okay? Did the pains down there come back?" Livia asked.
'Pains? Ah. Yes, right. I'm menstruating.' I'd completely forgotten I still had the tampon in.
Even though I was supposed to feel pain, it was no longer there. After all, I'd used part of the Sigil's flame to eliminate the pain in my uterus.
I lowered my gaze to look under my shirt and check my abdomen.
My breasts blocked the view.
I clicked my tongue.
'Stupid breasts.'
Ignoring the slight heat on my cheeks, I opened the system screen and navigated to the notifications section.
[The spell Sigil is currently active]
[Your pain is being transformed into Essentia]
[Your cramps are being transformed into Essentia]
[Your nausea is being transformed into Essentia]
'Huh, it's still there. Even if I don't see the flame—Wait. What's that?'
I lowered my eyes when I noticed a new set of notifications.
[Sense of Danger is being affected by Undetermined]
[The Sigil is actively counteracting the effects of your Innate Ability; Sense of Danger]
[Warning: Your Innate Ability; Sense of danger, is being neutralized by the spell; Sigil]
[Your Adversity rejoices]
[Your Adversity grows stronger]
'Shit. That doesn't look good. I need to fix it as soon as possible.'
"Leo?" Livia called again; her lips trembled and her grip tightened a little.
I turned to her and without thinking much I told her the first excuse that came to mind.
"I... um, no. I don't have any more pain. Thanks for worrying ,Livia," I said, trying to sound reassuring.
Livia gave me a small smile and a nod, then rested her head on my shoulder, playing with my hand.
A new warmth spread through my chest; for a moment, my worries faded.
Livia had that effect on me. That unconditional affection she had towards me was the reason I'd decided to use the Sigil to quiet my Instinct in the first place.
'Fuck it, who cares. It'll get stronger anyway, no matter what I do.'
Whether a goddess knew I was a witch, whether my instinct failed, whether Adversity grew stronger, it didn't matter. It was out of my control in the first place.
'My magic is making the impossible possible.'
I repeated the saying Violet taught me; I wasn't sure if it was said like that, but at least it helped me stay in the now.
I had no idea how to make the impossible possible. Things would always get harder; that was the effect of my Adversity.
However, in another life I'd already survived this hell, and now I wasn't alone.
I moved my body closer to Livia and tried to relax; enjoying her warm hand and the weight of her head on my shoulder made me smile.
I turned toward Milaine who seemed deep in thought since her eyes were closed and she was humming.
"Yes, that's my class. I'm a Witch. Why?" I asked, much calmer this time.
"Witch..." Livia whispered, so low I could barely hear her.
"Nothing. It's just… a rather unique class," Milaine said, opening her eyes.
"What? Just that? That's all you're going to say?" I asked.
"What? I just wanted to confirm it because it made sense," Milaine said, her face neutral.
'Oh no. No, no, no. You didn't make me go through a shitty moment just for that. Now you're going to talk, blonde.' I thought.
"Why does it make sense? And why react like it's trash if you say it's unique?" I asked, my voice a bit higher.
"I didn't say it was trash, Eleonora. Why are you acting like this? It's just a class—" Milaine stopped.
She let out a long sigh before speaking again.
"It just makes sense, okay? Witches burn and sacrifice things in exchange for spells, that's how most of their Gifts work," she stopped again. Her expression shifted; this time she seemed more troubled.
"It's just that I found it weird. Witches are the most servile class to... well… the gods." she spat out those last words. "I didn't think you'd accept a Gift like that, knowing how reluctant you were to the idea of accepting one in the first place," Milaine said.
'Wait, what? That doesn't make sense with anything I know. It's literally the opposite of what a witch is.'
[The Goddess Who Dislikes Gods feels a little sorry for you]
For a moment I thought of Violet. The image of the woman with black hair and purple strands and eyes returned to me.
The woman who seemed the epitome of beauty, a force of nature, in a citadel that seemed to have no end.
The same one who, if she wanted, could control my body just by looking at me, but had decided to swear never to do it again without my permission.
The same woman who had seen my whole life, and yet had decided to help me despite everything I'd done.
That woman.
The Witch of Joy was 'servile to the gods.'
'No. Not a chance.'
My mind rejected the idea. My soul did too.
"Bullshit," I whispered to no one in particular.
[Your Adversity rejoices]
[Your Adversity grows stronger]
A lump formed in my throat. Adversity seemed to be mocking me.
I ground my teeth and kept my eyes fixed on the purple book. I said nothing. I couldn't think of anything.
For a moment I doubted.
I doubted Violet.
Before I could deal with the cognitive dissonance that was forming in my head, Milaine spoke again. This time in a noticeably lower tone.
"Although it's the first time I've heard they can burn intangible things..." she said.
'Eh?'
I raised my gaze slightly and felt a glimmer of something shape inside me.
"Just burning away pain is enough to be considered a good Gift. Hmm, maybe you can even burn Joy," Milaine said.
'Joy…'
[Your True Name is being called out by a member of your coven]
The world that had turned gray began to regain its color. My heart started beating fast. Really fast.
"Joy? Why did you want to burn that?" Livia asked.
"Well, usually pain can cloud your mind, especially in situations where you have to be cunning. It's the same with its opposite. The best emotional state is being neutral, especially when fighting for survival." Milaine said.
'Pain—joy—of course. It's different. The Sigil is different, it's not a Gift. It's a spell.'
At the same time that my heart was about to explode, it began to calm down when I remembered Violet's image. And with it the reason she'd decided to support me, the same reason she'd joined me in the coven.
"Based on what your future self told me, I can theorize that something happened to the rest of us."
"I want you to join the coven and discover what happened to the rest of us."
'So something really happened. Something happened to the witches.'
[Your Adversity crumbles in the face of Joy]
[Your Adversity recedes]
"Um... so what are the books for?" Livia asked.
"Actually, I'm not entirely sure. That's something I was planning to ask, I don't know why there are tw—" Milaine said.
Without realizing it, I'd leaned toward Milaine and grabbed both her arms, pulling myself completely away from Livia and just focusing entirely on the blonde.
"Milaine, listen to me. I need to ask you something really important." I said, keeping my gaze fixed on the blonde.
That [Legemens] wasn't working on either of the two girls was a pain in the ass, especially now.
However, I needed to ask her anyway.
My whole body felt revitalized. I didn't care if some fucking goddess was watching.
Milaine seemed to retreat a bit when I got too close, however, since she was still sitting she only found the wall. Her hair shifted slightly toward a more platinum tint, and the white flame began to grow.
Her eyes opened a little too wide. She held my gaze with an expression I couldn't fully understand.
"Déjà vu," Milaine whispered, her voice pitched a little higher than usual, breaking her usual neutrality; a faint pink crept into her pale face.
[The Goddess Who Dislikes Gods is taken aback by your actions]
"You know about witches because we're going to meet one in the future, right? Your Gift told you that, correct?" I asked hastily, leaning toward Milaine and ignoring everything else.
I felt Livia grab my arm tightly, maybe a bit too tight. I even felt her nails dig in a bit. Even so, my attention was fixed on the blonde; my subconscious ignored Livia's grip.
"Y-yeah… kinda. There may be a Witch among the other survivors of Vulkris," Milaine stammered, avoiding my eyes.
At that moment, my body trembled with Joy.
'Holy fuck. Great! Fuck—okay, yes! Finally something good.'
I couldn't wipe the smile off my face now that I knew I hadn't been wrong. The witches of our coven were different from the witches Milaine had described. And not only that, there was one here in Vulkris.
"Leo! You're making Milaine uncomfortable!" Livia yelled, snapping me back to reality.
'Ah, shit. Maybe I went too far.'
I released Milaine's arms and stepped back, giving her space. She covered her mouth and nose with one hand while looking aside.
"Sorry," I said, a little ashamed.
She only flicked her free hand to show it was okay, without turning to look at me.
I let out a small, smiling sigh and turned to Livia.
I hadn't noticed when, but suddenly we were surrounded by a transparent golden dome. That was when I finished turning and finally saw Livia.
I flinched.
She was smiling a little, but her eyes were dull, deep golden color.
***