The ocean spat them out like it was done with them. One blink they were drowning in black water, the next they were coughing their lungs out on a beach.
Kail rolled over, hacking up seawater, sand sticking to her lips. "God—ugh—Earth tastes like dirt and piss. I missed it so much." She spat again, groaning. "Why is sand always everywhere? I swear it's in my ears, my bra, my soul."
Lizz lay flat on the beach, arms out. "Solid ground, baby. Finally. I don't care if it's crawling with bugs, I'm never swimming again. Not in this life. Not in the next one either." She turned her face into the sand and kissed it. "Mwah. Tastes like home."
Aiden stood up first, dripping but impossibly composed. Cloak heavy with seawater, hair slick against his face, but his spine straight as if he'd just walked out of a ballroom instead of a god's whirlpool.
Kail glared up at him. "Why do you look hot when I look like drowned roadkill? Not fair. I hate you."
Aiden's voice was flat. "You don't look like roadkill."
Kail blinked. "…Did you just try to compliment me?"
Lizz snorted so loud gulls flew away. "That was his version of poetry. Treasure it."
"Treasure my ass," Kail muttered, dragging herself up. She wrung her shirt out with both hands, water splattering into the sand. "I look like a swamp gremlin. Fries. I need fries. Or pizza. Something greasy enough to kill me."
"Food?" Lizz sat up, her hair plastered to her forehead. "Yes. Grease, salt, caffeine. Let's go ruin our arteries."
Aiden's gaze swept the horizon. Empty beach. Clean waves. No footprints. No noise but gulls. Too clean. He didn't comment.
---
They started walking inland, leaving wet prints in the sand. Kail stumbled twice, cursed, then threw her arms out. "Hey, vampire, give me your hand. If I faceplant in front of seagulls, I'm never forgiving you."
Aiden took her hand without a word. Firm, steady, too warm for someone who claimed to be cold.
"Damn," Kail muttered, almost to herself. "Even your hand is dramatic."
"Dramatic?"
"Yeah. Big. Cold. Feels like you're about to drag me into hell, but also kinda… safe. Ugh, I hate this."
"Then let go."
"…No."
Lizz smirked walking behind them. "You two are disgusting."
"Shut up," Kail and Aiden said at the same time.
---
By the time they reached a small seaside town, the sky was burning orange. Pastel houses, shut curtains, streets that looked postcard perfect. Too perfect.
Kail didn't care. She pressed her face to the window of a diner like a starving stray. "Fries. Burgers. Holy f***ing heaven. We're saved."
The bell above the door jingled when they pushed inside. A waitress leaned on the counter, chewing gum slow. She didn't look up. "Sit anywhere."
The place was empty. Booths polished, tables spotless. No customers. Just silence and frying-oil smell.
Kail shoved Lizz into a booth. "Civilization, baby." She grabbed a menu and slapped it down. "Okay, we're getting fries, double burgers, three coffees. No, four. Aiden, you're drinking coffee. Don't argue."
"I don't drink it."
"You do now. Consider it part of your human experience package."
Lizz chuckled, rubbing her eyes. "You boss him around like he's a puppy. Dangerous game."
"He doesn't scare me," Kail said too quickly.
Aiden's eyes flicked to her, dark and unreadable. "You should be."
Kail's throat went dry. She laughed anyway. "Shut up, Mr Tall-as-a-Tower."
---
Food came fast. Too fast. Grease dripping, fries steaming, coffee bitter. Kail bit into a fry and moaned loud enough to make Lizz spit her drink laughing.
"Oh my God. Actual salt. Actual potatoes. I could cry. Aiden, eat one. I dare you."
"I don't—"
She shoved a fry into his hand. "Eat. Or I'm stabbing you with it."
He looked at it like it was a puzzle, then ate. No expression. But his eyes softened in a way Kail caught and stored away like contraband.
"Ha," she smirked. "You liked it."
Lizz shoved a whole fistful in her mouth. "God, I missed sodium."
Kail choked on her coffee laughing. "You're disgusting."
"Look who's talking," Lizz shot back, spraying crumbs.
---
"Okay, serious question." Kail leaned forward, fries clutched like gold. "What's the dumbest thing you missed? Like… the stupidest normal Earth thing?"
Lizz raised a fry like it was holy. "Cheese fries. Or like—socks. Dry socks."
"Dry socks are elite," Kail agreed instantly. "Mine feel like swamp corpses. I'm burning them."
They both turned to Aiden. "And you?"
He blinked once. "…I don't miss anything."
"Liar," Kail said. "You miss something. Everyone misses something. Even demons probably miss their lava pits or whatever."
Aiden's gaze lowered. He almost said something—then just drank his water instead.
Kail groaned, throwing her arms out dramatically. "You are impossible."
"Not impossible," Aiden murmured. "Unnecessary."
"That doesn't even make sense!" Kail slapped the table. "God, you make me insane."
"You were already insane," Lizz muttered.
"Rude," Kail shot back. "True, but rude."
---
They kept eating, louder and messier. Ketchup smeared across the table. Lizz dropped a fry on the floor and nearly cried. Kail stole half of Aiden's untouched burger just to see if he'd react.
"Don't waste food," she scolded him with her mouth full.
"I wasn't—"
"Too late. Mine now."
"You just ate two baskets," Lizz said.
Kail raised both middle fingers. "Don't shame me. I died, like, twice this week. I earned fries."
"You also puked twice this week," Lizz countered.
"Balance," Kail said, and crammed more fries in her mouth.
---
"Okay, but like—listen," Kail said, words slurred from food. "We're back. That means… movie nights. Like actual movie nights. No creepy shadow play, no cursed visions. Just dumb rom-coms and popcorn."
Lizz gasped dramatically. "And ice cream. I want to eat ice cream straight from the tub like a goblin."
"You already eat like a goblin," Kail teased.
"True. But now it's legal."
"What?"
"Don't question it."
They both collapsed into giggles, half delirious from exhaustion.
---
"Also, playlists," Kail said suddenly, pointing at Lizz. "We're making new playlists. Like normal ones. With trashy pop and emo songs. Not—like—creepy chanting voices."
"Yes!" Lizz slapped the table. "Car rides. Windows down. Screaming lyrics off-key. Oh my God. I want that so bad."
Aiden's brow arched. "Screaming?"
Kail waved her fry at him. "Yes, screaming. It's therapy. You'll hate it. Which is why we'll force you."
"I won't participate."
"You say that now," Kail said, grinning. "But I'll get you singing Taylor Swift. Just wait."
"Taylor… who?"
Lizz actually spit her drink. "Oh my God. He doesn't know. He doesn't know."
Kail grabbed her chest like she'd been stabbed. "Blasphemy."
---
Vordi didn't fit inside. She curled outside the diner window, coils heaving, eyes glowing green. People walking past screamed and ran. Aiden glanced at her once, then looked back at his untouched burger. Calm. Always calm.
Kail jabbed her fry at him. "You know, you're the worst dinner date ever. You sit there looking like death and don't eat. You're supposed to at least pretend."
"I don't pretend."
"Well, start. It's Earth. We pretend here."
Aiden's jaw moved once, like he wanted to say more but didn't.
"Come on," Lizz teased. "Pretend to be my grumpy cousin. At least smile. Oh wait, your face would crack."
Kail cackled. "He doesn't know how."
"I do know how," Aiden said, monotone, which only made them laugh harder.
---
The bell over the diner door rang again. Kail glanced up. No one walked in. The waitress didn't move. She just chewed her gum, eyes flat on nothing.
"Creepy," Lizz muttered, rubbing her arms. "Did you—did you feel that?"
Kail didn't notice. She was busy wiping ketchup off her face. "God, I missed being disgusting. Normal disgusting. Not, like, monster guts and cursed blood disgusting."
"Normal," Lizz echoed, but her voice cracked a little. She forced a laugh to cover it. "Yeah. Normal."
---
After eating, Kail leaned back in the booth, groaning like she was melting. "This is it. This is home. I'm never leaving again. Screw magic, screw curses, screw creepy books. Just fries and Netflix."
Lizz sighed, content but tired. "Back to boring, stupid, safe."
"Safe," Kail whispered, almost convincing herself. She pressed her face to the vinyl seat. "You guys promise me? Like, no more weird portals or creepy things jumping out of shadows? Just… here?"
Silence. Aiden's eyes flicked to the window. Vordi hissed outside, loud this time. The windows vibrated. The street outside the diner was empty. Too empty.
Kail yawned, dropped her head against his shoulder, and closed her eyes. "Promise me this is real? That we're really back?"
His hand flexed once on the table. His jaw locked tight. Then he gave her the words she wanted, voice low. "It's real."
Kail smiled against him, drifting toward sleep. "Good. 'Cause if it's not, I'm suing someone. Don't know who. God, maybe. I'll sue God."
Lizz laughed weakly, shaking her head. "Kail, you're a menace."
The waitress finally moved. She lifted her head, gum popping between her teeth. Her eyes flicked to the booth for the first time.
And they weren't eyes at all.
They were blank. White. Staring.
The gum popped again.
The bell rang a third time.
No one walked in.