I should have seen it coming. No really, it was only a matter of time. The Gotei 13 meeting was two days away when Chiron brought forth a demand from the Olympians.
Poor centaur looked ready to quit life.
Apparently the day after Percy had arrived and my kids saved his mom from the Minotaur, Zeus finally realised his electric dildo was gone.
How do you even lose track of a cosmic weapon like that. That's like literally watching someone take your phone out of your hands then getting really upset when you can't find your phone five minutes later.
Then again, no one has ever accused Zeus of being the smartest god.
The accusations that were thrown pretty fast. Percy had just been claimed by Poseidon. Though he did not get his hellhound fighting moment since Hikari decided to blast it with her gun and Percy was still clinging to his mom.
The poor kid was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that his father was one of the major gods of the Greek pantheon.
Then Zeus just had to call me out too. I reckon Dionysus didn't tell him about who I was or Zeus just deluded himself into thinking that he was untouchable.
I was the new guy, an easy target to blame. Especially for the idiot that thought that turning himself into different animals was a great way to seduce women. Bastard turned himself into an ant at one point to seduce a princess.
Chiron tried to keep the peace as the middleman but even I could see that he wanted nothing to do with whatever was going to happen.
[Scene Break]
"Papa, we caught a weirdo." Ai beamed happily while flashing me a peace sign.
That sentence could have meant a lot of different things, so I didn't start charging up a Hollow Purple just yet.
Then I saw him.
Luke Castellan, hogtied and dangling from a tree. The look of panic on his face when he saw me was hilarious. I glanced at his limbs and spotted countless zip ties keeping them trapped.
'Huh… I did see Akira walking off with a whole box of zip ties earlier, I guess this is what he used them for.'
Ai stood proudly in front of Luke, the son of Hermes shot me a pleading look. I just ignored him and looked at Ai. She looked proud, like she had just won first prize at the school science fair.
"Let me guess, you read his mind?" I asked.
Ai hummed, "Yes papa, he was thinking of turning himself in to the Zoo."
'What Zoo?'
"He kept thinking about how scared he was of you and he wanted to confess his crimes." Ai continued. "He was basically screaming his thoughts with how loud they were."
Luke gave muffled shouts, someone, probably Akira, had stuffed a sock in his mouth. "Mhmmm! Hmmm mmm mmhhhh arhhh hmm mmmmm!"
I sighed, scratching the back of my head. "You tied him up before he confessed?"
"Of course!" Akira replied from the branch that anchored Luke's binding. "You told us preemptive action saves time dad, remember?"
I hummed, "Fair point, cut him down. He's turning purple."
Akira immediately complied and Luke crashed into the ground with a thump. Once he was free from his bindings he looked at me gratefully.
"Thank yo—
"Don't thank me yet, you're coming to Olympus with me to explain everything to the gods."
He groaned, "I figured… Can I at least change first?"
"Nah, you look fine. Trust me." I smiled while looking at the twigs sticking out of his hair.
[Scene Break]
Olympus looked about how I'd imagined it would look. Like Mount Everest swallowed Las Vegas and decided to get penile enlargement surgery right after. Golden halls, large marble columns, a distinct lack of modesty. The place reeked of divine ego and overcompensation.
In the throne room Zeus sat on his seat with arcs of lighting crackling around his head as he did his impression of a Tesla coil.
Poseidon sat next to him, the god of the sea was glaring at him but didn't move, possibly in part due to the fact that Percy was trying to hide behind me.
Luke was hogtied again.
Ai insisted, "just in case he tries to run", she had said.
Luke was floating next to me looking like he wanted to die on the spot. Whether from embarrassment or the fear I didn't know.
Zeus' voice boomed through the throne room, echoing in the marble halls. "Theft of my Master Bolt is a crime punishable by—."
"Death, eternal torment, smiting… yeah yeah, we all know." I interrupted, waving a hand. "You ever try locking your door… or I don't know, maybe keep your weapon where you can see it at all times. Hell, have you checked your asshole?"
A few Olympians shifted uncomfortably. Apollo snorted. Dionysus chuckled, despite the fact that he was definitely scared of me.
"You dare mock my father?" Athena asked sharply.
"I'd do it constantly if I didn't lose brain cells every time his name pops up in my head." I replied. "Being antagonistic is a big part of my personality after all."
Zeus materialised a spear of lighting in his hand. You admit nothing, yet you stand unbowed before us?"
I grinned, "Already told your son didn't I? I don't hand out my respect like candy. You want it, you earn it. Besides, I don't really do bowing very much, bad for the lower back and knees. You can bow to me though… I have the actual thief next to me after all."
That got their attention.
Every eye turned to Luke. He squeaked, "I— I have no excuses, but I had help, Lord Ares wished to start a war, he said Kronos was calling… he- he stole the Master Bolt while he had me steal Lord Hades' helm."
Hades, who I just noticed, jumped from his seat, "You what?!"
Luke sobbed hard, the idea that he just confessed to stealing from the Olympians probably just sinking in. Not only that, but directly stealing from two of the three most temperamental gods in history.
I smiled, "See, this could have all been avoided if people just asked the right questions instead of throwing a tantrum like a child."
Zeus' grip tightened on his lighting spear, "Ares…" the war god gulped, "you had a hand in stealing my weapon?!"
I watched the Olympians start arguing amongst themselves. Percy peeked out from behind me, Poseidon gave him a reassuring look. The Olympians were seething, the air filled with their divine aura.
I noted that they had outright refused to acknowledge part of what Luke had told them. No one wanted to bring up that Kronos was definitely using one of their own.
It went on for a hot minute, I grew more annoyed with each passing second.
Sighing I subtly covered everyone that came with me with a layer of protection before I unleashed my full aura. The marble underneath my feet cracked. Dionysus noticed first, his eyes widening when he glanced my way.
The shadows lengthened in the room as the air grew thick with my malicious intent. Every god in the chamber stiffened and held their breaths when my power washed over them.
I didn't even realise just how much stronger my energy had gotten. How potent it had become since my mother gave me her blessing. If I had to say, I'd reckon that I was at least a hundred times stronger now.
Zeus' lighting spear died in a fizzle of sparks in his hand. Poseidon looked at me in shock, even the shadows rolling beneath Hades' feet recoiled.
I hummed, pushing more of my energy out of my body. "I guess I've been subconsciously holding back…"
Then I heard her voice, "My son…"
It wasn't a whisper this time, not like when she had first spoken to me after blessing me. Her voice echoed in my mind like a thousand bells.
"Your inheritance stirs. The powers of creation and unmaking answers your call. My mantle will be yours soon, as is your birthright."
"Mother…" I whispered softly, ignoring the terrified stares, 'couldn't have picked a better time, I was in the middle of intimidating the Olympians.'
"That upstart Kronos stirs, with him… unbalance. He will sense your power soon, let him feel fear."
'Good… I've got something special for him.' I continued to ignore the room around me.
"Be wary, Satoru… with your new strength, you will have many responsibilities to get used to and the gods will envy what they don't have."
"Yeah yeah, with great power comes great responsitriligence." I muttered out loud, then I smirked. "Right now, I kinda wanna see what happens if I give Zeus a good old Satoru 'Punch'."
Her laughter was soft, maternal. Then like she came, she vanished. Leaving behind that gentle warmth of hers. Equal parts comfort and dread.
I pulled back my aura, and dusted off my haori. "Right, now that I have your attention… you have proof, you have a confession, and I reckon that Luke here will be very happy to return Hades' hat and that Ares will give you your vibrator back Zeus. So can we all go now?"
I was excited to test out my new powers, maybe even show off to Mitsuri and the kids. They had been bummed out about not being able to see Olympus. The campers had hyped it up so much that my family had wanted to see it themselves.
Zeus tried to speak, he was still shocked though so the words died on his throat. Poseidon, ever the reasonable one, gave a slow nod. "It seems… this matter is resolved."
"Resolved?" Hades grumbled, "I just learned my Helm was stolen by a little brat and I didn't even have the time to scare him a little."
Hermes glared at Hades for that, but then shot me a thankful look for bringing his son along. He spoke up seconds later, "Well, that's that… maybe next time we ask around if anyone's seen something before we start accusing each other of theft?"
The look Zeus gave him could have flash fried a mortal, but Hermes was already gone. His laughter lingered as he teleported away with Luke in tow, still tied up like a thanksgiving turkey.
I turned to Percy, who looked more confused than scared. "Don't worry kid, you'll get used to this eventually."
He shook his head quickly, "I'm not sure I want to… they're all weird."
I chuckled, spotting the hurt look on Poseidon's face from the corner of my eyes. Well, they're basically hormonal teenagers, I'm not surprised they're all weird."
The Olympians retreated to their respective temples. Poseidon shot Percy a look that said they were definitely having a conversation later. We walked back towards the elevator doors that would teleport us back to New York.
"You really have no sense of tact do you… you talked back to Lord Zeus." Chiron sighed. "Did you have to go that far?"
"I did," I said, smirking. "Besides, if not me, then who's going to put a few upstart gods in their place?"
Chiron just huffed silently and kept in step next to Percy and I.
"Are they really gods?" Percy asked suddenly.
Chiron looked ready to pass out from disbelief, I just laughed.
"You know kid… sometimes I think they forget that themselves, though I can understand how easily it can happen."