"Undo it already!"
Hu Tao puffed out her cheeks as she glared at Koji. She didn't want any "Blessing of Longevity"—how boring was that? It went against the natural law of life and death, against the cycle of reincarnation.
No honor at all, launching a sneak attack like that. I don't want any immortality.
She had literally just finished saying it, and Koji immediately turned around and slapped her in the face with reality—was he doing this on purpose? Did he have it out for her?
"Director Hu Tao, you don't have to resist it so much. When you're a hundred years old, if you still don't want longevity, you can have Koji undo it for you," Fanan said with a smile.
None of them really cared either way. If they hadn't died back then, they could've lived an absurdly long time.
"Relax. This blessing won't affect you at all. Your figure will still be… that figure," Koji said.
Hu Tao's eyes went wide with fury. "What do you mean by that?! Are you saying I'm flat?!"
How could she not understand what he was pointing at?
"I didn't say that. You said it yourself," Koji replied innocently. "But your figure…"
He didn't finish, but everything he wanted to say was written all over his eyes.
Hu Tao's figure, and that silly Furina's figure—flat, flat, flat, flat.
Too bad this world didn't have airplanes. Otherwise, those two "airfields" could've gotten rich off them.
"Well? You tell me."
Hu Tao turned to the Yaksha and unconsciously puffed out her chest a little.
Don't bother. Even if she puffed it out, you still couldn't see any curve at all.
Koji flicked his gaze over. Hu Tao's figure really was just… like that. He even found himself wondering whether, after pregnancy, it would bounce back to normal.
"Uh…"
That one question had them completely stuck. Should they tell the truth?
Even big brother Fushé's pectorals looked more dramatic than Hu Tao's.
With a figure that flat, you had to wonder why. Genetics?
"Ahem… Director Hu Tao, you should still have a chance," Fanan said awkwardly.
As for whether it would actually happen… they didn't think the odds were great. Hu Tao wasn't exactly young anymore.
"Really?"
Even Hu Tao didn't believe that kind of phrasing. It wasn't like she hadn't tried foods that were supposed to help—none of it had done anything.
If that stuff worked, her good friend Xiangling would've been rocking an hourglass figure ages ago.
"Peach, I've got a blessing related to, you know… enhancing the chest. Want to try it?" Koji asked.
He'd just made it up on the spot. It wasn't like he'd ever needed something like that before—no one had ever brought it up, and he certainly didn't need a "chest enhancement" blessing himself.
"It does sound tempting… but you seriously have a blessing that weird?" Hu Tao's heart jumped for a split second, but she immediately wrestled it back under control.
If it really existed, trying it once… wouldn't necessarily be a bad idea.
"I do, I do. You can experience it. We're good friends—do you think I'd hurt you?" Koji said solemnly.
"...No thanks. That feels like it'd come with side effects."
Hu Tao hesitated for a few seconds, then refused. It was too ridiculous. And even if she did get a fuller chest, there were a million things to consider.
First, could she even get used to it? Second, what if Xiangling and the others saw? What if people who knew her saw? Everyone would have opinions, and it would be an absolute headache.
Sure, she was a bit flat now—but it wasn't like she couldn't accept it.
"Suit yourself. Fontaine's big star, Furina, is about as flat as you, so don't get weird about it," Koji said, trying to comfort her.
"You sure know how to pick an example."
Hu Tao raised an eyebrow, thinking of Furina. Her figure really was comparable.
But… the Hydro Archon had looked like that for five hundred years. So Hu Tao probably would too. That was not exactly uplifting.
"Achoo!"
Over in Natlan, Furina suddenly sneezed and rubbed her nose.
Even though Furina was essentially human, the curse of a god had stretched her lifespan to something absurdly long. A little cold shouldn't affect her at all.
"It's nothing. Someone must be talking about me," Furina shook her head.
She felt perfectly healthy—no signs of illness at all.
"Focalors, when you started out, you were a pure water spirit, right? Not this human form?" Furina asked.
Focalors hadn't guessed what Furina was going to ask, but she still nodded. In the beginning, she really had been in the form of a pure water spirit.
"If a pure water spirit becomes human, it should be able to shape its body however it wants. So why did you shape yourself into this completely ordinary, flat body?" Furina said, sounding annoyed.
Looking at the Raiden sisters, Greater Lord Rukkhadevata, and the Pyro Archon… saying she wasn't jealous would be a lie. Compared to them, she was taking a straight-up "dimensionality reduction" beating.
Focalors: "..."
So that's what you wanted to ask. It's about your figure.
"Fufu, if you care that much, I can help you adjust it."
"No. It's fine like this."
Furina shook her head. Five hundred years had already gone by—she didn't really have an obsession anymore. If she ever needed it later, it wouldn't be too late.
"Senior Zhongli, I heard that when you were wandering the mortal world, you once turned into a mature lady. What was that like?"
Nahida asked with curiosity. Koji had told her that, and she found it astonishing.
The Zhongli in front of them was a refined, mature, elegant gentleman. It was hard to imagine what a "mature lady" Zhongli would even look like.
"About that…"
Zhongli's hand stiffened. He didn't know how to explain it. For him, it had been years and years since he'd done anything like that, and thinking about it now felt… embarrassingly shameful.
"I've seen it. The old man's female form is prettier than all of you," Venti said, pouring gasoline on the fire.
The moment he said that, Raiden Makoto and the other female gods couldn't help getting curious. They were confident in their looks, so they were genuinely wondering just how stunning Zhongli's female form could be—and their expressions gave it away.
"Drunkard… do you want to go flying?"
Zhongli's eye twitched. His fist felt like it was solidifying into stone. Talking to Venti always made his blood pressure spike, like he had a primal urge to punch something.
"Ahaha, no need for that, old man. I can fly on my own," Venti said, sticking out his tongue.
Zhongli let out a helpless sigh. Exhausting… truly exhausting.
"Zhongli, are you refusing because you're afraid you'd be too ugly in a female form?"
Among the gods, it seemed like only Morax played around like that.
"It was just experiencing life. Different roles bring different feelings," Zhongli said.
There wasn't really anything he couldn't say about it, so he just said it outright.
Aside from being a bit idle… it was also about looking at Liyue from a different angle.
(End of Chapter)
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