Chapter Twenty-Night – The Dark Inside Your Heart
A soft hum reached his ears, worming its way through his sleep-addled mind. Vince struggled to open his eyes, only aware of a dull pain stretching from his chest to the rest of his body.
"Vee, are you awake?"
"Jack," he said, his voice hoarse and weak, "were you singing me a lullaby?"
"Well, I thought it might comfort you while you're coming back to it. You wouldn't believe it. A tree and a snake came to talk to me. Sorry, it wasn't a snake, it was a nehesh, and I'm telling you, he was a bit cross with me because I didn't exactly understand--"
Jack's incessant chattering, strangely enough, gave him the strength to push himself up to a sitting position and look around. The memory of what had happened, Theodore slashing his chest while chasing him away, came back unbidden.
"We need to find our alpha," he said.
He might've gotten up too suddenly because dizziness gripped him the moment he was on his feet. The landscape around him appeared just as desolate as it had before, so nothing had changed. Had his wound, however, been only superficial? It had hurt a lot, and now… now his fingers met the rough surface of a scar instead the wetness of a bloody gash.
"Easy, Vee." Jack stood by his side, touching his elbow gently. "As I was saying, the tree and the nehesh helped me bring you back to life because they have magic. Something that, obviously, should sound so out of whack, but seeing how we're here, and you're a guardian, and I'm a clairvoyant, it's obviously 'kay. How's your chest?"
His chest wasn't the problem, nor his wound. On the other hand, his head was wrapped in so much confusion every thought he tried shaping in his mind seemed to be made of cotton.
To steady himself, he took a good look at Jack. "Why are you still naked?" he asked, the first thing that crossed his mind.
Jack shrugged. "Everything disappeared. Our supplies, clothes, everything. Even my cards did a weird thing, and they vanished, as well. Like poof," he explained, gesturing wildly. "With the exception of that card showing the wolf with the noose. That," Jack added, grabbing Vince's arm and pulling him close while pushing himself up on his toes, "is in me. Not like I ate it or anything." His voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. "I absorbed it through my skin. Yeah, totally weird, I know. But now, apparently, I have the knowledge, though you shouldn't put me to the test as to what it is about. I have no idea."
Vince shook his head and rested one arm around Jack's shoulders.
"Wow, Vee, look at me, I'm holding you!" Jack exclaimed happily.
He hadn't meant to put his whole weight on Jack's narrow shoulders, but it did look like the field mouse, as Theodore so endearingly called him, was stronger than he looked.
"You are," he said.
His lips stretched into a smile, but the memory of before came back with a vengeance.
"Theo hurt you," Jack said matter-of-factly. "Are you mad at him? I made you as good as new – almost – so please don't be mad at him. He might be possessed or something."
"I'm not mad," Vince replied. "I'm worried. Did you happen to see where he went? And thank you for making me as good as new. You'll have to tell me all about it, but later. Now we must find Theodore. He's alone and in danger."
"Vee, do you have weird visions too?" Jack asked, standing tall and proud that someone much bigger than him could support his weight using him as support.
"No, I leave those to you. But I could tell he wasn't exactly himself when he rejected me. Now that he's here, he thinks he needs to do everything alone. But I don't think that's right. We are here for a reason, and we are his mates whether he likes it or not."
"I agree with you, but I didn't see him at all. One moment, I was getting busy with my cards – because, you know, I need to be on the ball and catch the moment when they're changing, so we're not left in the dark – and the next, I heard you crying out in pain. Theo was already… gone, I think." Jack frowned slightly, as if he were trying his hardest to remember something.
"Let's go looking for him. He is our alpha, so the bond between us must guide us."
"But, Vee," Jack reminded him gently, "we're not bonded yet. Do you think we can still feel him?"
Vince didn't know for sure. But his role as a guardian was clear. He needed to show determination and lead the way even when they had no clue to where they were supposed to go and what to do.
"We'll start over there," he said, pointing into the distance where he believed his confrontation with Theodore had taken place. In that barren land, it was difficult to tell one place from another, but they had to start somewhere.
"Wait," Jack warned him, "I don't know if I developed my very own Spidey sense since stepping beyond the veil, but I think I know where we should go. I guess that's what the cool tree and snake, I mean nehesh, wanted to say by having the knowledge in me and all."
"I'll trust your Spidey sense then. Lead the way?" Vince asked.
Jack nodded, not entirely sure of himself but getting there. "Follow me, Vee. But eyes peeled for nasty jerks who'd love to kidnap my clairvoyant naked ass, okay?"
Jack was still Jack. In the middle of the unknown, it felt comforting. Vince smiled and followed him right away.
***
The smell of ash filled his nose; it was the smell of home, his home, the home of his pack. Theodore could tell he was so close he could taste his victory at the back of his throat, a sensation slowly growing inside him at the same time.
The tall dark tree walked beside him, pointing him in the right direction. One of its many branches hovered close to the back of his head, guiding him. His guide didn't touch him, but it definitely felt like it did. Theodore believed that it could only be his imagination at play, but he did feel a little like he'd been pushed into the position of a mutt, wearing a leash and letting himself be guided the same way a dog owner would direct their pet when taking it out for a walk.
He shivered, wishing he could chase away the unpleasantness of such strange thoughts.
"Steady now. Look ahead."
His front paws stopped right at the edge of the cliff he hadn't noticed until now. The scent of ash was more overpowering now, hiding something underneath. It unsettled him, and when he looked down, a world of ruins stretched before him. Burned dens, corpses lying about, bloodied fur--
"Fight it. This isn't real," the voice of the mythical creature behind him warned him. "You still carry with you the worries and lies from the past. Close your eyes, alpha of Whiteflame."
A growl grew inside his chest, as he continued to absorb the destruction he could see, far and wide.
"Alpha." The voice became rougher, harsher. "You must not oppose the truth. Look over there. Isn't that your mother?"
Theodore turned his head to see what his guide wanted to show him. The oppressive feeling he had felt before faded. When he looked down again, his pack's seat of power was coming to life.
Bustling with it. Puppies yipped and played in the fresh snow, while adult males and females mingled about, going about their daily chores. Their houses – not simple dens, not for a pack as strong as Whiteflame – stood tall, warm fire flickering at their windows. Shouted greetings were exchanged, as someone walked through the sea of wolfshifters, his long white hair dropping over his ermine cloak, the symbol of his status.
"Father," Theodore let his call rip out of his chest.
"Not so fast," his guide said, stopping him before he could jump into the middle of his pack. "Remember, Theodore, you must finish what you started."
"What did I start?" he asked.
"Look closely. Only the eyes of an alpha can spot it. The wide circle around the fire at the center of your glorious seat of power. Do you see it?"
He did. A dark line, most likely made with charcoal, was inscribed around the fire. He remembered it now.
"The Embercasting," he murmured.
As a child, he'd loved that ritual the most. All the members of the pack got together to burn old things at the pyre and chase away the evil spirits of yesteryear. His father used his flint to light the first fire. When the flames caught, they danced along the dry wood, climbing up, up, up, until in the heart of the pyre, something magical occurred and the flames burst through, making the fire shine the brightest of all the days of winter.
When had his last Embercasting been? Theodore searched his memories, while his heart pulled him toward the ones he loved.
"Remember, and remember well, alpha. How they destroyed Embercasting for you," the guide whispered, close to his ear now.
A deep smell of decay invaded his nose, making him want to take a step back. Something wasn't right. His memory of the last Embercasting—
He had to stop abruptly as the leash he had only imagined before curled around his neck, pulling him back.
No, nothing like a leash, not that he'd ever experienced such a thing in his life until now. It was a noose.
The word alone sent a jolt through him. Noose. He knew something about this, but what? His mind turned frantic, while his entire body tensed. His guide was holding him in place, but Theodore was stronger.
Above him, the wisdom tree, what he'd thought to be that, hovered menacingly. The fire ants crossing its bark began pouring onto his face, stinging his eyes, ears, even his skin, despite his thick fur.
"Pay attention, alpha," his guide warned him. "Don't you want to see your pack again? They are right there. You can be with them. You only need to step into the circle."
The circle. Another visual reverberated through his memories like ripples in a pond. On the day of his last Embercasting, he'd stolen his father's flint, wanting to be the one to light the fire. He wasn't yet alpha, but he'd become an alpha soon. In years, but soon. Why not see how it was done?
His father was furious. He thought someone was trying to play a prank on him, but any threats and pleas with the pack for the thief to come forth went unanswered.
Theodore hated to admit it, but as much as he regretted stealing the flint, he wouldn't back down and dishonor himself in front of the pack. So he kept the flint in the pocket of his fur coat, his fingers cold and wet with sweat curled around it.
"You saw me the first time at the last of your Embercasting," the wisdom tree murmured. "That was when it started."
Theodore could see it. It terrorized him only to remember, but now he was right there, a young pup, barely ten years of age, clutching the flint in his hand, scared out of his wits of what he'd done. And as he was about to step up, walk into the circle and put himself at the mercy of his father, a shadow moved at the edge of his vision.
He lost track of it soon, but it reappeared. The whispers of consternation exchanged between the pack members faded, just as his father's warnings that without the Embercasting, they would have to work harder to keep the evil spirits lurking around at bay.
"Come with me, lucky child," the ghost whispered in his ear, making him shiver. "Come throw the flint your father uses to punish us, come throw it away where no one will ever find it."
He didn't move at first. His mother and father had raised him to respect their customs, and in his silliness, he had committed a foul act. He had to raise his voice and admit his transgression.
"Quiet, boy. Aren't you the alpha?" the ghost hissed. "You are the alpha," it repeated.
What was that apparition talking about? His father was the alpha.
"You are in your soul," the ghost assured him. "Your father knows it, too. Let's hide the flint. We'll come back later and light the fire together. Isn't this what you wanted?"
He'd wanted that, but now, under his father's stern reproach, he started doubting it.
"Don't doubt yourself. Alphas feel no doubt. Trust your heart. The dark in it. It is there, Theodore, alpha of Whiteflame. You must feed it. That's why you must hide the flint."
His father's voice boomed out over the crowd. Would it be so bad if he, Theodore, lit the fire later? It would be the same, and then he'd face his punishment. The Embercasting wouldn't be compromised.
But Theodore now knew that it would be the last in the history of Whiteflame.
"You lied to me," he growled and turned on his guide.
With one paw, he pushed the wisdom tree down. That was no wisdom tree. He'd been fooled, like that day in his childhood, when he—
"Yes, you," the creature hissed at him. "As I told you then. You have darkness in your soul, alpha. And you must feed it."
***
All of this was happening because of him. If he'd just spoken up before things had gotten this far, they might've stood a chance.
Was it because of the gloomy landscape surrounding them that he was having these thoughts? He was supposed to be brave for Theo and Vee, or at least manage not to be a burden, and he was doing the opposite.
Jack stopped and crouched to the ground. To think that only half an hour ago or so he'd been so sure of knowing where they were going, pretending to be the guide and all.
When he was the one who had kept his mouth shut about the curse that had forced Theodore to massacre his pack. His keeping his mouth shut had led them to this.
"Jack, what's wrong?" Vee put a warm hand on his shoulder. "Don't you know where we need to go from here?"
"I don't know," Jack moaned and rocked back and forth, covering his eyes. "I just don't know anymore. Vee, I joke all the time, and I say a lot of crap, but this time, I did it. I didn't think it through. I had this vision of a young Theo destroying his pack, and I thought you'd get mad about it and suffer a lot, and I just couldn't bring myself to tell you about it. Also, I was thinking of Theo, how hurt he'd be… I just made things worse."
"Hey, hey," Vince called gently, "you were thinking of us and our feelings. That's not wrong. Also, I don't think it would've been that smart an idea to say anything because it could've very well destroy Theodore. He might've just chosen not to come here at all if he'd known the truth."
"But we don't know that," Jack moaned again. "I messed up."
"No, you didn't," Vince said in a sharp voice that forced Jack to remove his hands from his eyes. The guardian inside his friend was something fierce. "If this is our destiny, our fate, and it is up to us to challenge it, then all that happened until now was for a reason. We are beyond the veil. We don't know what trials wait us, but we are here, and we're ready to fight."
Jack sniffled and studied Vince's handsome face for a bit. "Vee, you should train to become a motivational speaker. You just made me think that being a lying coward isn't so bad."
"Calling yourself a lying coward is a bit much. Come on, Jack, focus on where we must go to find Theodore. And in case you still believe that you did the wrong thing by keeping your mouth shut about what the cards were saying, this is your chance to make things right. Okay?"
What Vince said made perfect sense. And when had crying ever solved anything? No, as a clairvoyant, clever and with knowledge, he needed to be more proactive.
He pushed himself up and rubbed his eyes hard. "Thank you, Vee. You're the best motivational speaker I've ever had the chance to meet."
"For real?" Vince teased him, taking his hand. "How many have you met until now then?"
"Just you, but you're still the best."
"With zero competition, I don't doubt it."
"Hey, hey," Jack said, placing his finger on Vince's lips, "don't you dare sell yourself short, hear me?"
"Look who's the motivational speaker now," Vince laughed, dodging his attempts to silence him. "Where to next?"
Jack sniffed the air. "It smells like ash and something disgusting. Vee, if you were a nasty evil spirit and just about to get your gnarly fingers on Theo, what would you do?"
Vince's face became serious. "I think there's some unfinished business going on around here."
Jack hadn't thought of that. And he was supposed to be the brain, while Vince was the muscle.
"Like what?"
Vince frowned. "I don't know. But Cassandra must've traveled a long way to reach Ryder's pack and then trick their alpha into going to eliminate Theodore at the cost of his own life – and that of his pack. Jack, I think we're here for more than just finding Theodore's pack, whatever might be left of him."
"I don't quite follow you, but go on," Jack insisted.
"I don't have all the facts," Vince said. "But I'm determined to find the truth. Are you with me?"
"All the way, and you know it, Vee."
TBC