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Dear diary: The fire within

InkWithoutName
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Synopsis
Dear Diary, I just started at a new school, and honestly? I thought moving here would fix everything. I thought I could just... start over. Leave all the bad stuff behind and become someone new. But here's the thing nobody tells you about running away from your problems: they have a way of packing themselves into your suitcase and following you wherever you go. The panic attacks still come out of nowhere. I still can't sleep properly. And trusting people? Yeah, that's still basically impossible. Even here, where nobody knows what happened to me. You can't outrun what's inside your head. So I'm writing in this diary because maybe, just maybe, if I can get all these thoughts and feelings out of my head and onto paper, I can finally figure out how to heal. Not by changing my surroundings, but by changing myself. Because sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stop running and turn around to face what you've been hiding from. Wish me luck, - G
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Chapter 1 - Monday, September 2

Dear Diary,

Today was my first day at the new school. My mother dropped me off at the new location this morning. She knew how nervous I was and wanted to go with me as much as possible. We said a tense goodbye in the car before I walked inside, incredibly nervous. It's always strange going back to school after the holidays, but walking into a new school feels even more stressful. I walked in with sweaty palms, but also with a lot of hope. Hopefully, this new start will give me what I need.

The school building is a bit smaller than my old school, which is certainly a lot better because it gives you a better overview. There's a lot of glass, which allows plenty of natural light into the building. Most of the walls are a light color, but some stand out with a soft yellow or orange tone. There's also a courtyard outside, next to the auditorium. Wonderful for in the summer! From there, you reach the bike shed and can go straight outside. Of course, you also have the main exit, which has regular doors instead of those crazy automatic sliding doors.

Today I had my first meetings with my class and my new mentor. Our class consists of about 27 children, with boys and girls divided almost evenly, and Ms. Thompson, our mentor and English teacher. We started with introductions, and at that point I realized again: I'm always terrible with names! I didn't really know what to say about myself either. I kept it short; I hate it when the whole class looks my way.

Overall, I really enjoyed today; it was a bit nerve-wracking, but it all worked out. My classmates certainly look great!

By the time I got home, it was already dinnertime. At the table, my father kept asking questions about the day while my mother was busy with my little sister, trying to keep up with the conversation. I only gave short answers; I needed to let it all sink in.

- G