"I am among you."
In the end, Nearl's words drew the final line, and at that moment, Ardan understood completely.
Understood the essence of Margaret Nearl, the person.
The ultimate giver, the ideal friend, family member, teacher, and everything else.
Someone utterly dependable in every way, like a nail firmly driven into the side of what's right.
But as a person, she was too normal. So normal it was flawed.
The primary starting point for any person is themselves.
No one is truly selfless; even heroes and saints aren't. They just don't pursue material gains or losses.
It's like making an anonymous donation—it seems like you get nothing in return, but what you're pursuing is the satisfaction of your own compassion.
It's like helping an elderly person who has fallen—you're chasing the pleasant feeling brought by that "thank you."
A person's starting point is always themselves. Even sacrificing for others is about pursuing an ideal or belief; in that moment, you must be happy.
'But even so, does someone who only seeks happiness for the soul truly exist?'
Ardan didn't know. She wasn't a philosopher, unable to fully dissect the true nature of Nearl's heart. She just ached for her.
Ached for this friend who could only feel joy in giving, who had never known simple, selfish happiness.
"Nearl, is there anything you like? Hobbies or favorite gifts, maybe?"
Ardan tried to find some ordinary interests of Nearl's, something that could prove she was still just a regular person.
But Nearl thought for a moment and shook her head.
"Sorry, I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"That's right. I can't think of whether I've ever had a hobby. I'm usually very busy, no time for that sort of thing."
Not that she didn't have one, but that she herself wasn't clear?
For Ardan, this was both heartbreaking and gladdening news.
It pained her that Nearl lived such a strenuous life, without even a hobby of her own, but it gave her hope that there was still a chance.
'Please, I beg you, let Nearl return to the normal world.'
Ardan prayed silently in her heart to the Three Goddesses.
'I understand my own heart now. I adore this Nearl.'
'I adore the Nearl who dominates the racetrack, leaving everyone in the dust.'
'I adore the Nearl who is proper, self-disciplined, gentle, and kind in private.'
'I also adore the Nearl who studies diligently behind the scenes, enduring hardships.'
'So, the more I see this, the more I wish Nearl wouldn't push herself so hard. If only she could spend some time on herself, even just a few short hours.'
'I don't know if I'm the right person for Nearl, but if my existence can bring her a moment of solace, then I'll be content.'
Opening her eyes, Ardan sprang into action.
"Nearl, how many days are left until the Satsuki Sho?"
"Hmm? Less than two weeks now, I think. Why, worried my performance will slip?"
Nearl asked jokingly.
"Of course not! But has Trainer Kitahara mentioned something to you?"
"Trainer? I've been spending most of my time here lately, haven't seen the trainer in a while."
"Then have you decided on your racing silks yet?"
Ardan tossed out the question inquisitively.
She actually just wanted to use this topic as a lead, hoping to discover something from the style Nearl chose, maybe uncover Nearl's preferences.
Because an Uma Musume's racing silks are the style she loves most in her heart, right?
But this ordinary question turned out to be a bombshell.
"..."
Nearl's writing pen suddenly paused, her slightly widened eyes revealing an indisputable fact.
Ardan sensed something was off and spoke with a tone mixing seventy percent curiosity and thirty percent disbelief.
"Don't tell me, Nearl, you haven't decided on the design for your racing silks yet?"
The answer was a somewhat embarrassed smile.
"That is indeed an oversight on my part. Since I usually don't have the concept of buying clothes, the racing silks didn't rank very high in my attention. I completely forgot."
"What about Trainer Kitahara then? Oh, that gentleman is a rather careless fellow too..."
Ardan's wording was even giving Kitahara some face; in reality, he was a forgetful, scatterbrained guy.
"Well, actually, that's not it. The trainer just trusts me, that's why he hasn't asked. He has his reliable side too."
Nearl hurriedly explained for Kitahara, hoping to salvage his image a bit. But it only made things worse.
"Alright, whose fault it is isn't the point. The point is the Satsuki Sho is just around the corner, and you, Nearl, don't even have your racing silks yet!"
This was no joke. If Nearl, the undisputed top favorite and strongest contender, showed up on the track in a tracksuit, what a scandal it would cause!
"The audience would think you believe the race isn't worthy of your silks, or your opponents aren't worthy. Just imagine the blow to the organizers or the other runners."
This truly hit Nearl's soft spot.
If it were just her being ridiculed, she wouldn't mind. But causing others to bear public criticism because of her was absolutely not in her nature.
"You're right, Ardan. The racing silks really need to be dealt with quickly, but..."
Nearl looked at the pile of documents still on her desk. There were many left.
'Handle them tonight then... That should work.'
Having made up her mind, Nearl closed the folder and rose from the leather chair.
"Ardan, let's go. We need to settle the racing silks matter soon. I just hope there's enough time."
"Mhm, don't worry. Generally, only Uma Musume eligible for G1 races can get custom silks. And unless you win the annual URA Best Uma Musume award, you're not eligible for custom orders, so new orders are rare. Usually, a week's leeway is barely enough."
"Thank you for the reassurance. I remember the custom silks are ordered through the URA, right?"
"That's right. Japan's only dedicated racing silks production department is with the URA. But it's actually a family craft passed down through generations; they just have an exclusive partnership with the URA."
Here, Ardan twitched her ears, sharing a bit of insider info with Nearl.
"I heard they've been blessed by the Three Goddesses. Only family members who truly love Uma Musume can create the 'Divine Raiment.'"
"Such racing silks can defy the laws of physics, letting a Uma Musume run in perfect condition, instead of becoming a cumbersome burden like the cheap replicas sold outside."
"And every Uma Musume's racing silks are unique, the clothes that best reflect her own charm and preferences. I'm really looking forward to seeing the style of your silks, Nearl."
Faced with Ardan's expectant gaze, Nearl felt a bit awkward.
"Sigh, I just want something simple and plain."
--+--
T/N: I have a Patreon! Webnovel will get 3 Chapters Every Day, and advanced chapters will be uploaded on Patreon.
It may not seem worth it now, but maybe in the future. Who knows!
[email protected]/AspenTL
If you guys wanna check it out.