The Phoenix had not necessarily been looking for another host. Especially after the last one she lost. That host had been so perfect, so compatible, that even now her death felt like the end of everything, like nothing else would ever be the same ever again.
And yet, in what might as well be a blink of the eye in comparison to the lifespan of the universe, she had felt something again flickering at the edges of her awareness. Something that called to her. Something that spoke of power and love.
The Phoenix had long wished to understand 'love'. She'd had no concept of such a thing back in the beginning. For the longest time, she was an 'it', a cosmic entity, the manifestation of the universal force of life. And then she'd joined with her first host and everything had changed.
At the same time, nothing had changed. She was still what she had always been. She was still immortal, indestructible, and Life Incarnate. However, for the first time… she was more than just these concepts. For the first time, she was both smaller and larger than she had ever been before.
That was when she started to see… but mere sight was not enough. Seeing did not truly provide understanding. Understanding was something that could only come with time… and experience. Host after host, mortal after mortal, each of them had provided the Phoenix with a bit more knowledge. But none of them had gotten her all the way there. And unfortunately, it was not a linear process.
She could lose things. When a Host was gone, or when the Phoenix herself was dispersed, she would find herself reborn, with many of her experiences washed away in the process, the hard-won edges from each of her hosts smoothed down and left… diminished.
This latest host… she had grown more attached to than most. It wasn't often that the Phoenix found herself connected to a younger host, but this last one had been nothing more than a child when they'd bonded with one another. And then, much to the Phoenix's chagrin, she had found herself caged along with her host's true potential.
The work of mere mortals was not something that could truly contain the Phoenix, to be fair. She could have broken free at any time, shattering the bars of her cage and soaring out without issue. She was Fire. She was Life. She was Freedom.
And yet… doing so would have destroyed her latest host in the process. And as previously mentioned, she'd gotten attached. So the Phoenix had stayed put. She had helped her host where she could, knowing it was only a matter of time before the cage fell away all on its own. And she had grown in experiences as she'd witnessed a much smaller form of existence through her mortal host's eyes.
When it all came crumbling down, when everything and everyone turned against them, the Phoenix had been distraught. She was so close to feeling all that could and should be felt. She was so close to finally understanding. And yet… in the end, she fell short. Again.
This time around, in the wake of her latest host's death, the Phoenix had refused to simply go quietly. She had… persisted, prolonging her own rebirth. She didn't want to have these experiences washed away. She didn't want to have them smoothed over yet again. Instead, she'd held on even as she knew she couldn't do so forever.
And yet… as previously mentioned, in less than the equivalent of an eyeblink, she felt something new. Power and love aplenty awaited her back where her previous host had died. Broadcasting out to her, all but beseeching her arrival.
For a brief moment, the Phoenix had wondered if somehow, against all odds, her last host had come back from death. That hope, however, had been squashed rather swiftly when she'd taken a closer look at what she was sensing. This power did not feel like her last host's power. And the love that came alongside it did not feel like that of her last host either.
Still, it was more than good enough to draw the Phoenix in. More than good enough for her to attach herself to this new host, filling them with her Light, with her Presence, with her Power.
Strangely enough, despite being more than strong enough to house her full might, this new host was resistant. Afraid, even. A quick look shows that that's only because of rumor and hearsay. The mortals have spoken poorly of her to this new host. She doesn't understand yet that a union with the Phoenix is a good thing, no matter what those mortals might think.
Only, before the Phoenix can explain herself, before they can properly commune with one another for the first time… there is the sensation of Another. A presence, just as strong as her new host, presses against the Phoenix in what one might take to be a sort of… psionic shove.
Of course, as the nexus of all psionic energy that has ever and will ever exist in the entirety of creation, the Phoenix is not… shoved. She is barely even bothered by the attempt to dislodge her from her new host, in fact. Except… there is an irritation to this being. A sort of prickliness surrounds them, like a nettle or thorn pressing into flesh.
The Phoenix only understands these things in a very abstract manner thanks to vaguely recalled experiences with previous hosts. Nevertheless, it is irritating… and what does one do with such a thing? Simple. Remove it and flick it away.
She does so with all the contemptuous casualness that the prickly presence warrants. The power that it wields is nothing before her, and the life it holds is snuffed out in but a second, as is her want.
NO!
Only, the Phoenix mentally staggers a moment later as horror, grief, and black despair flows out of her new host and down their still-forming connection. What? Why? Where is this sudden hatred coming from? Why is her new host so angry?
A moment later and the Phoenix comprehends how she has erred. The love that had drawn her in… well, she'd recognized it but as previously mentioned, seeing was not understanding. The Phoenix saw a powerful individual who was feeling a truly spectacular amount of love and she saw a host who might be able to finally help her understand.
However, what she did not realize until now was where that love was directed. It was directed at the prickly, offending, thorny presence that the Phoenix had just done away with. In removing the 'nettle' from her 'flesh' and doing away with it, the Phoenix had slain the source of her new host's love.
Almost immediately, she feels the Darkness encroaching. This had to be a new record for her and she finds herself wallowing in her failure even as her host wallows in her pain and grief. Emotions were so powerful, so strong, so… difficult to understand.
But where the Phoenix was still learning love even after all these millions of years, she had already come to comprehend other emotions such as hate and anger. Her hosts felt them a lot. Loss, above all else, was the greatest emotion she could feel and as she finds herself being dragged into the Dark right alongside her new host, the Phoenix feels that loss most keenly.
Sometimes, it feels like all she can do is lose and lose and lose. She knows, after this, after her host is put down by the other mortals some way or another, that she will not be able to hold back her rebirth anymore. But perhaps it's for the best. Perhaps this time, she will be glad to not remember this failure and how swiftly she ruined her latest pursuit for understanding.
She-
"EMMA!"
What? The Phoenix reels back, torn from her wallowing in the same moment as her new host is torn from her despair and grief. Instinct screams at her to lash out at this attack, to strike back… but she holds just long enough to realize something inexplicable has happened.
The one she'd thoughtlessly killed, the one who had earned her new host's undying love… is back. Through no outside action that the Phoenix can see, he lives once more. And instead of shying away, instead of fleeing with his second chance at mortality… he rushes in without hesitation, clawing fruitlessly with his mind to try and free her host from her clutches.
… Ridiculous. There is nothing to free. The Phoenix IS freedom. And yet… perhaps she was a bit heavy-handed in her excitement. Perhaps she had… how to put it… come at this whole situation a bit… strong.
There is love from the prickly presence as well, the Phoenix belatedly recognizes. Love shared with her new host, love directed at her new host. Perhaps by… taking a step back, she might finally reach the understanding she has long sought.
And so, with only a bit of hesitation… the Phoenix relinquishes control.
-x-X-x-
Dying sucked. It unequivocally and undeniably fucking sucked. Coming back wasn't much better either, especially when you came back to the entire building trying to shake itself apart under the distraught wailing of the love of your life.
Emma Frost wasn't telekinetic. She was a telepath and a telepath alone. But that didn't seem to matter where the Phoenix Force was concerned because when Thaddeus opened his eyes again a couple minutes after having almost certainly perished, everything in the room was floating in the air and Emma was screaming and shrieking in pain and agony.
"EMMA!"
Getting on his feet was difficult, but Thaddeus just clenches his teeth and pushes until it's done. Getting to Emma, on the other hand, was the truly herculean task. Nevertheless, he doesn't let that stop him. One foot in front of another, he pushes his way through the psionic hurricane.
"EMMA, I'M COMING! I'M HERE!"
She doesn't hear him at first. Too caught up in her own grief to realize he's no longer dead. Thaddeus doesn't blame her though. He'd only gotten a mere brush with the Phoenix Force before it had swatted him down like a fucking bug. And that was the shit she was contending with right now. That was the shit that had decided to make her it's latest host.
One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. The room is shaking itself apart. The building probably isn't doing any better. But Thaddeus keeps moving all the same. Until finally… he reaches her.
He doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her, to embrace Emma physically while reaching out to her mind mentally.
"EMMA!"
And like a switch being flicked, everything stops. Total silence falls as the things hovering in the air don't drop to the ground, but freeze in place. Emma had her hands on either side of her head, and her head down, eyes on the floor as she'd been screaming. She freezes too for a long moment… and then something seems to flow through her, a rippling relief that causes her to slump forward into his arms.
Only then does she slowly look up, her eyes still blazing orange. Wide as can be, Emma stares at him in disbelief.
"Tha… Thaddeus?"
Her voice reverbs slightly, but not as much as he would have expected. Thaddeus, seeing her tear-streaked face, can't help but cry a little himself, even as he smiles and nods.
"It's me. I'm here. I'm alive."
Reaching out, she touches his face with shaking fingers, confirming for herself that he's really there. A shuddering breath leaves her lips as she asks the obvious.
"H-How…?"
"… I don't know."
It's the truth too. Thaddeus is powerful, don't get him wrong. He's extremely powerful in a lot of really great, really exciting ways. He's got regeneration from Laura too that should make it so he can come back from pretty much anything that would kill a normal human being. And on top of that, Thaddeus is also supposed to be Super Lucky, so even if something would kill him, his Super Luck should put the finger on the scales and let him avoid death.
… None of that had mattered against the Phoenix Force or whatever it was really called. Thaddeus knew that, somehow. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had died… just as he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had come back to life. Not via regeneration or any of his many powers. Not by warping reality or anything like that. No… this was something else. Something new and entirely inexplicable.
"I-I thought I lost you. I was sure that I had lost you because… b-because the Phoenix herself was sure that she had dealt with you. I felt it… I felt the sense of finality as she treated you like a damn pest."
Thaddeus lets out an explosive breath at that before frowning slightly.
"Maybe… maybe she brought me back?"
But Emma immediately shakes her head.
"N-No… I can feel that too. She's just as surprised by your resurrection as you and I are."
Huh. But if that's the case then…
"Why did she back off? Why hasn't she tried to kill me again?"
Here, Emma's face twists, contorting into a mixture of different emotions.
"… Because she fucked up. She chose me because of my love for you without comprehending that my love was FOR you. She wants to understand love. She wants to experience it, and she can't do that if you're dead. Now that you're back through nothing she did or indeed any other source she can find… she's taking a wait-and-see approach."
Oh. That was… well, that was something. Of course, Emma's face grows dark a moment later, her hands clutching at him like she can still hardly believe he's alive.
"I hate her, Thaddeus. I don't want to give her anything. I don't want to be host to this… this thing that could so callously kill you, even if you did come back."
Ah… that could be a problem. Thaddeus waits a beat, half-expecting the Phoenix to throw another tantrum at Emma speaking those words out loud. But then he realizes how dumb that expectation is. After all, if they're truly as intertwined as it looks, then the Phoenix probably felt what Emma was feeling and thinking long before she voiced her thoughts.
Still… what now?