Chapter 27 – Yujiro the Publisher: Trash Tabloid, Spicy Novels
In the end, Uchiha Yujiro managed to talk his clansmen down.
Just like with the clan head, he presented them with three options: an upper, a middle, and a lower strategy.
The upper strategy? Change your whole persona. Follow his and Shisui's example: become cheerful, sunny, outgoing big boys. Shed the "grumpy tsundere" image once and for all.
Uchiha Tekka frowned. "So basically… you're saying we should all become gentle perverts?"
Yujiro casually patted Shisui on the shoulder. "Hey, Shisui, Tekka just called you a pervert. Aren't you gonna deck him for that?"
Shisui blinked. "Uh, I don't think he was talking about me…"
…
With the upper plan dismissed, Yujiro moved on to the lower strategy.
It was simple: endure.
"You're shinobi, aren't you? If you can't even endure a little embarrassment, what good are you as Uchiha? Might as well quit, lock yourselves indoors, and live out your lives as useless shut-ins."
Sure, you'd have to endure your parents' disappointed glares and your neighbors' gossip, but that was easier than surviving as an actual ninja, wasn't it?
The moment he said this, Shisui noticed the crowd's eyes turn dangerous—the kind of eyes people give when they're deciding whether to stab you.
Panicking, Shisui quickly stepped in to smooth things over:
"No, no, that's not what Yujiro-nii meant! He just means—come on, we're Uchiha shinobi. We don't even fear death itself. Are we really going to be scared of some villagers misunderstanding us?"
But honestly? Given the choice, everyone would rather avoid both death and humiliation. So they all looked to Yujiro, waiting for the middle strategy.
"Distraction," Yujiro said smoothly. "Don't worry. I'll have the paper push out a few big headlines soon enough. People will forget all about this."
After all, most villagers were too busy working, trading, and scraping by to hold onto gossip.
…
The clan exchanged glances. Tekka finally asked, "Yujiro-nii, are you serious about this?"
"Of course." Yujiro pulled a folded newspaper from his ninja pouch and handed it over. "Fresh issue of The New Konoha Times. Hot off the press. On the house."
Tekka opened it, only to be immediately blinded by bold, screaming headlines:
"SHOCKING! Bloodcurdling Screams Erupt From the Girls' Dorm Late at Night—What's the Real Reason?!"
"Unbelievable! Elderly Man Boldly Peeks Into the Women's Bathroom!"
"Moral Collapse or Human Depravity? The Truth Will Stun You!"
…
Shinobi were simple folk. Or rather, the people of this era were simple-minded. Their worldview was still stuck at the stage of "If it's in print, it must be true."
Pure, innocent, gullible.
So within seconds, Tekka was hooked. He bent over the page, reading with rapt attention.
"'Bin's grades weren't ideal…'" he muttered, eyebrows furrowing.
Meanwhile, the other Uchiha each grabbed a copy, flicked on their Sharingan, and went into speed-reading mode. Before long, there were bloody noses all around.
"…Wait, hold up. Is it really okay to put this kind of stuff in a newspaper?" one of them asked, wiping at his face.
Yujiro shrugged, shameless as ever. "We're shinobi who strap our heads to our belts, never knowing if we'll see tomorrow. And you mean to tell me we can't even enjoy a spicy novel now and then? Isn't that just inhumane?"
That… made sense. Against their better judgment, everyone found themselves nodding.
The upper strategy was too demanding. The lower strategy was too depressing. The middle strategy—yeah, this one sounded doable.
And with Yujiro's shameless boldness, they trusted he'd churn out enough wild headlines to distract the village.
Problem solved.
…
The clansmen left one by one, clutching their "borrowed" papers with no intention of returning them.
"Come on, let's go see the clan head," Yujiro declared proudly.
"…Are you sure this is okay?" Shisui asked, frowning. "Won't this ruin your reputation?"
"Correction: our reputation," Yujiro replied, patting him on the shoulder. "You're the second-largest shareholder in The New Konoha Times. Fifteen percent stake, free of charge. No need to thank me."
Shisui stared. "…Can I refuse?"
"Of course not."
…
Faced with Yujiro's dead-serious expression, Shisui finally gave up resisting.
And while his little brother looked increasingly conflicted, Yujiro was already striding off, cheerful as ever, ready to shake down Fugaku for funds.
Shisui? He could go play with Itachi for now. His soul needed some healing.
Although Yujiro didn't particularly like the man, he had to admit—this guy was an Kage-level powerhouse with a bag full of flashy tricks. If Shisui could help pull him to their side, and he could be made to serve Konoha instead of working against it… Yujiro figured he could tolerate the bastard.
…
The Fugaku household sat on the choicest land in the Uchiha district, their home easily the grandest among the clan.
Fugaku liked to insist it was all thanks to his sharp business sense.
He was the clan head—so Yujiro nodded along and pretended to believe him.
…
After a few brief pleasantries, Mikoto smiled softly as she poured them tea before excusing herself with graceful tact.
"Such a virtuous sister-in-law," Yujiro praised.
The smile on Fugaku's face froze for a fraction of a second before he forced it back into place.
"…Indeed. Now then, about this mission you and Shisui completed…"
Yujiro launched into the story again, carefully emphasizing just how strong their opponent had been—and the strange powers he'd revealed.
"He used Wood Release. That means he had First Hokage cells implanted. And his Sharingan evolved into… something else entirely."
At that, Fugaku's eyes flickered.
Just as Yujiro had suspected—no Uchiha could resist the phrase "a stronger eye." (Eye Freaks)
"Yes… I see. But…" Fugaku's momentary hunger soured into a sigh. "Hashirama's cells… without those, it's meaningless."
Yujiro leaned forward, unwilling to let him shrug it off.
"I heard Lord Orochimaru… and Lord Danzō… have been experimenting in secret. Trying to recreate the First Hokage's invincible Wood Release."
"—Who told you that?!" Fugaku's expression twisted instantly, betraying shock. Clearly, he'd heard the same rumor, but had never given it much weight.
"I have my channels," Yujiro said smoothly.
"…Hmph." Fugaku didn't push further. He only nodded, but there was a heaviness in his eyes. "Then things are… troublesome, Yujiro."
"Indeed. Very troublesome."
If it were only secret experiments, fine. Desecrating Hashirama's remains could always be excused with the usual line—"It's all for the sake of the village."
But the key issue was this:
What happens when Hashirama's cells fuse with the Sharingan?
The result was something beyond the Mangekyō Sharingan.
The Rinnegan.
An eye with power that eclipsed illusion, eclipsed everything.
If Orochimaru and Danzō ever learned this truth… would they be tempted?
Fugaku only had to think for a few seconds before reaching the obvious conclusion.
Of course they would.
And if tempted… would they act?
Of course they would.
The Uchiha clan head exhaled a long, weary sigh.
"This just became far more dangerous."
No matter who you were, being targeted by both Orochimaru and Danzō was enough to make anyone's skin crawl. Even an Uchiha.