As Ilaya left, the owner and Michizugawa sat down and started to drink again. The owner was deep in thought as he attempted to figure out what was off about her. Then, he asked Michizugawa who was stuffing his mouth with food
"Michi, did you notice something about her words and actions?"
Michizugawa tilted his head as he asked confusingly
"What are you talking about? It's just normal farewell to me"
The owner, Ichiwa, suddenly latched onto one of his words. He murmured
"Farewell…"
While the owner was thinking deeply, Michizugawa suddenly said to him
"So they're your new family huh? Are you finally out?"
Ichiwa was distracted by his words as he smiled faintly
"Yes"
After that simple reply, the two turned quiet as they simply drank without saying anything. Then, Michizugawa raised his glass as he brought it near Ichiwa. The owner also raised his glass and bumped it. It's their ritual when something good happened to them a long time ago
After that, they didn't speak as the wine steadily drained from the bottle. Then, Michizugawa stood up and said to Ichiwa
"I'll better go now my friend. Thank you for inviting me. My feelings were sorted out and this celebration helped me. Heck, I think it all helped us"
Ichiwa nodded and said to him
"That's right. This celebration is a therapy for all of us"
Then, the owner said to him
"Also, you can't go yet. You need to help me clean the place. There's so much to do"
Michizugawa's smile froze as he looked around the mess. He suddenly complained
"Hey! I already helped you at the start! You do it yourself!"
Ichiwa grinned and said to him
"You've broken your promise. Doesn't that mean something?"
Michizugawa's following words got stuck in his mouth. He sighed and put his jacket in the chair and said
"What do I need to do?"
…
As Ilaya was walking. She couldn't suppress her emotions anymore as she cried. The warmth and joy at their company was shaking her resolve to die. The fear of not seeing them again really terrified her
'I didn't want to die. I want to live and be with them. I want to be happy. Why is it so hard?'
She silently cried as she dealt with the pain raging through her. Both physical and emotional pain is tearing her. She let out sobs from time to time, causing people to look at her. She continued walking past many people and buildings. Then, she abruptly stopped walking as she rushed in a dark alleyway and vomited blood
"Blurgh"
A copious amount of blood splattered on the concrete as she stared at it. Ilaya felt extreme cold as the fear of her coming death dawned on her
"Kghhh!"
She let out a stifled scream as she felt that the world was really trying to bring her to her knees
'What do you need from me!? Why!?'
Ilaya yelled in her mind, enraged by all the suffering she's being subjected to. Tears streamed from her tightly closed eyes as she really didn't know what to do. She already decided to accept their love even though it's poison to her. But when her end was nearing, signs started showing up. Her will to live is started conflicting from what she wanted
The fear of death was forcing her to live the life that she didn't want. And the life that she wants was heralding her impending death. She felt like she's stuck in a loop. A terrible loop
As she's suffering, some people started to notice her abnormality. They looked at Ilaya concernedly and wanted to check on her, but, before they even took a step, Ilaya straightened out and walked away. Back towards the main street
Ilaya walked and walked. She had no plans in riding to her destination this time. She just wanted to walk. She didn't want to talk to anyone at this point. Her emotion was in turmoil and any conversation right now will just venting her feelings. She didn't want to involve others in her circumstances
Then, she walked. Despite the people around her, the world seemed like a dark place. There's no comfort anywhere, only struggle to survive
'It's like I'm in an unknown place. Only danger all around. Even the only place that's truly safe is still slowly killing me'
Ilaya wipes her face and she decides to distract herself from all this pain. She uses her power for the first time in a while. Since the time she found out her curse, she's been hesitating whether to use it. She didn't know if using her power will exacerbate her condition
So she refrained from using it. Of course, Ivana told Ilaya to practice her powers from time to time but she just said okay but didn't do it. Now however, she will use it even if it's dangerous to do in her situation. She's in that much pain. Ilaya was willing to lose herself in the sensations even just for a bit
Then, her senses slowly heightened. She slowly controlled her power to the bare minimum. Ilaya doesn't want to collapse from sensory overload, so she just enhance all her senses a little. But, she really struggled in enhancing in moderation. Maybe because she's using all her senses at the same time
Ilaya's pace started slowing down and there's a grimace in her face. She soon stopped and just stood still
'This is insane. I used them just fine when I was in the medical facility of the Yakuza. But, using them all at the same time is really more difficult than I thought. It's like stopping a raging current. I want to let the water flow just a little, but opening even a little of the 'dam' to my power can't control the amount of 'water' rushing out from the gap'
Ilaya really became distracted as she wished, but not in the way she expected. She wanted to use her powers to feel something, but due to stopping her senses from overloading, she used all her willpower just to maintain that balance. In doing that, she didn't have the leisure to process what her senses were showing her. Her focus shifted from analyzing information to stabilizing her state
Then, a tap on her waist broke her focus. Ilaya couldn't maintain the balance as she was overwhelmed by sensations. She hurriedly stopped her power as her senses gradually returned to normal. Then, she heave a sigh of relief and turned to glare at the person who distracted her
As she looked back, she didn't see anyone at first, but she slowly looked down and saw a teary eyed girl staring at her. A thought immediately entered Ilaya's mind
'A lost child'
Ilaya changed her expression and smiled at the child
"What do you want, little one?"
She said softly as she didn't want her to cry. Ilaya really had no idea how to interact with children. She was always uncomfortable around children and found them loud. As one who loves silence and peace, it says all about the children whose bundle of energy. She heard the child said close to crying
"I… can't find mommy"
Ilaya sighed in her mind
'Here we go again'