HARLEM
Fur is poking my chin; Bimmy is currently in my arms as I snuggle him on the couch staring at Lexi as she tells me all about her experiences these past two weeks. She's currently in the process of how a follower keeps bothering her on her pages and how she keeps blocking him/her but they end up creating more accounts to keep spamming her. I'm trying not to freak out as she talks because she says it's not a big deal but I think she might have a psycho stalker.
"Uhh Har? You're doing that thing with your face that signals you're entering into mom mode." Lexi tells me and falls back unto the chair.
I bite my lip and turn to her "Is it normal for people to be that persistent on social media?" I ask genuinely worried.
She brushes me off "Yess, many celebrities go through it. It's like a rite of passage at this point. Don't worry Har, they'll eventually get tired and give up." She says laughing.
I sigh "Okay, if you say so. Just… be safe though."
She smiles "I will. So… are you going to tell me about your trip?"
"I think Ezra bailed when we were in The Maldives." I state at once.
"Why?" she asks furrowing her brows.
"I think it's because of the… date we had on that day, you know the day we called. I closed up when he opened up and he probably felt annoyed with me so he avoided me for days and then bailed. And, even when I caught him bailing, he lied about saying he was about to let me know, when it was obvious he was leaving and coincidence just made it happen. So, this leads me back to why it's a bad idea to get acquainted with men." I say stroking Bimmy.
Lexi nods like she's trying to soak it all in.
"Wait. What was the date like?" she asks.
I sigh "It was pretty good actually, he didn't try to do anything stupid and he was kind, oh and he also doesn't know how to drive a boat ski."
"What?! Who doesn't know how to drive a boat ski?" Lexi asks perplexed.
I shrug. "But like I closed up when he sorta-kinda told me he was interested in me and I feel bad about it."
"What? Girl, you have literally nothing to feel bad about. It's normal. And if he's trying to gaslight you into feeling how you're not ready to? Then he can go fuck himself, literally."
I chuckle "I guess."
"Hey" Lexi says and I look at her. "If you feel uncomfortable around him, then we can go file a restraining order." She says so simply I snort.
"It's not THAT. I just feel weird about him in a way that feels… weird."
Lexi blinks and nods like she understands but doesn't. "It's fine. We can cross that bridge when we're ready. Okay? Don't overthink it."
I nod "Okay, I won't."
"Okay. So, now that you're back, what next?" she asks
"Oh. I think I'm going to start modeling now. The runway isn't going to wait for me." I tell her.
She laughs "Hell yeah, it isn't."
We talk some more and then go out to get food. I called Zaron Models and they asked me to come the next day for casting. I'm nervous but I'm enthusiastic, I feel like this is a big move for me and I'm so glad about it.
------
I stare at the blonde beauty strutting right now in her heels and skinny jeans and I wonder if this was a good idea at all. Fuck that, I look at all the other men and women standing around me also watching her and wonder if anyone would notice if I step outside to hyperventilate.
I shake that thought away and track the blondes every move like a bloodhound; the way she moves her hips, the leg motion and even her posing.
I practiced last night like crazy. I strutted in the backyard like a sleepwalker on drugs; my feet still ache from being in heels for that long but it was worth it because looking at these people, I'd wish I did.
I spot Miller and we make eye contact and he gives me a thumbs-up. I was accepted already but they wanted to do the casting for professional sake and I know it doesn't really matter but I won't exactly like to embarrass myself in front of people who look like Zeus's spawns.
I get called up and I see the table of judges who all seem to be smiling at me which gives me more confidence and I take my stance and walk. I keep my eyes on a certain spot like I learnt smiling and doing it the way YouTube classes taught me. I feel my limbs move swiftly and smoothly as I walk and my hips feel like they're not mine. I stop, pose, turn and strut again. Feeloing confident, I wink at Miller and he smirks, I also see the judges' smiles get wider. Total hundred.
I take a courtesy and walk to the other side where the others are waiting. The blonde goddess smiles at me and I smile back. We stand and watch the others as they walk and I pinpoint a few things I can improve with myself.
When they're done, one of the judges start calling out two sets of names. We divide and I realize I'm with the blonde and about a few more others. The judge thanks the other group and rates their performance stating the good and bad, then ends with them telling them to try again later. Wow, nice but blunt.
They are escorted outside and the judge turns to us. He tells us what we did good and even what we can improve on; apparently, I need to move a lot quicker on the runway which is funny because these heels are weapons.
He turns to me "Can we all please welcome our celebrity invite, Miss Harlem Tamrin. She's here on sponsorship and will be the face of our latest show." I am?
I smile and bow as they turn to me and clap. "Your trial was amazing, Miss Tamrin. We're happy to have you and we hope you enjoy your term with us."
"Thank you for having me as well. I'm grateful." I say feeling so honored. They clap again and the judge tells us we're going to be doing a lot of photo shoots for our term; he gives us more information and tells us Miller will always be available if we have any questions and then we disperse.
I can't wait to call Lexi and tell her how it was. I see the blonde girl walking towards me and I turn to her. "Hi. I actually didn't know it was you until he said it but I loved your show. I'm a huge fan of Broadways, the name is Olga. And I watched Echoes of the Forgotten sky; it was priceless."
I smile at her and take her hand "Hi Olga. I'm glad you enjoyed the show. Can I just say that you're so gorgeous and your walk is amazing, this is literally the perfect job for you."
She laughs "Thank you. It's actually not my first time Modeling and I've been wanting to model through this agency for a while. I'm glad I could get it."
"Oh, that's great. It's really nice to meet you, Olga." We exchange numbers and leave. We are starting in two days and I can't wait.
I drive to the park and take a seat on one of the benches and soak in the evening while eating the sandwich I made. I found out doing this; just sitting in t eh quiet of nature with a drink or treat makes the voices in my head go silent. It helps me sort out my thought better and calms the overthinking a whole lot.
I smile. Maybe this is what healing looks like; not grand revelations, but small quiet moments where the world finally stops spinning.