Chapter Three
Yearning
Due to the rules of Obren, the rest of the interactions between Ayanda and Edgar were restricted to only speaking through proxy due to him not being neither royalty nor an immediate member of her family. The only times men of lesser standing than highborn women were allowed to address them directly was upon official introductions and then again during farewells. Ayanda knew getting even a second alone with him or even being able to say one word to him directly instead of to one of his or her people to relay to him, would be next to impossible. Still, she couldn't bring herself to care as the pull she felt to him only seemed to increase with every second he was near. She spent the first two days of his visit locked in her room in a feeble attempt to stay away but after receiving word from one of her maidservants of Edgar's concern of her health at not seeing much of her around the grounds or after meals, she was filled with a new resolve to be alone with him no matter the risk and chose to go to dinner the evening of the second day of Edgar's visit. She felt like butterflies with massive wings were flitting about her stomach as she entered the dining room where her faux parents waited. They both conveyed how happy they were to see her out and about while a servant pulled out her chair for her to sit. She thanked the servant and artfully waved off her parents' mild concerns saying she had felt a little under the weather and didn't want to expose them or especially their guests to what ailed her which turned out to be nothing at all. She then listened to them talk about the state of their country among other things while she discreetly palmed a note she had written earlier after being dressed for dinner. Guests not of royal blood weren't permitted to dine with royals but there was an exception for ambassadors and nobles. It was one of the only times they were welcome to dine with monarchs and converse directly with them regardless of gender since there were constant witnesses during dining times which left no room for debauchery. Once the main course was brought out, Ayanda looked around and anxiously waited for the king to finish speaking so she could ask where Edgar and his entourage were. "Father?" "Yes?" "I was just wondering why the ambassador of Craorus and his staff have not yet joined us for dinner?" He glanced at his wife before answering. "He is unmarried and.... classed lower than us." "But I thought that ambassadors and nobles could eat with us umm with monarchs regardless of that?" "That is fact, but Edgar is... forgive me daughter. My English is.... better but only by so much." She gave him a small smile of assurance while he clarified. "People born from unions ended by death are considered a class less than even nobles and normal ambassadors." Ayanda's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh..." her mother smiled at her sweetly and added, "It is a way to discourage confusion. If they are treated just the same, others looking for unions would consider them as suitable matches. And if a marriage were to happen between the two Yah forbid, much despair would fall upon them. Edgar will eat with your father and our ambassadors after you and I are done." She nodded at them and moved her food around with her fork, letting them know she fully understood. As they continued speaking with one another and Sadiki watched Omolara enjoy her meal since it would be rude for him to eat his main course outside of the presence of Edgar and the others who were waiting, Ayanda quickly wiped away a tear that had formed in her eye before it could roll down her cheek. Her throat went dry as she fought back the urge to sob, seeing now that it would be much more difficult than she thought to speak with Edgar alone or at all.
She blew out dramatically through her lips as she laid in bed and held the note she had written for Edgar above her. "Meet me in the nocturnal garden after sunset," she read aloud before crumbling the paper and tossing it in the trash next to her bed. "Actually, I should probably burn it instead just to be safe," she said as she reached into the waste basket and pulled out the note. She opened her door and stuck her head out to greet the guard standing watch. "I'm feeling restless. I'm gonna uhh going to go to the nearest sitting room for a bit." The guard nodded in response and Ayanda closed the door, put on her robe and called for one of her maids to come meet her as royals were not permitted to be out at night without a guard, and for female monarch's, a maidservant present, especially not with guests around who may pose a threat to the hierarchy. Ayanda's maid quietly walked beside her on their way to the sitting room while another guard followed behind them. He waited at the doorway while they went inside. Instinctually, Ayanda moved to start making a fire but then remembered her place and sat patiently while her servant made it for her. As her attendant set the logs, Ayanda looked over to the guard and thought, 'If they're really so hellbent on keeping single men and women apart here then why don't they have women as guards for me and Omolara like in that one comic book movie?' She let her mind run wild while she waited on the fire to keep her from getting anxious. She tactfully slipped her hand in her robe pocket and felt the balled-up note. 'If anyone were to find this, both Edgar and I would be in big trouble.' She watched her servant light the fire starter beneath the logs, causing flames to engulf it before catching onto the wood above. She couldn't understand why she was willing to risk everything for this man she had just met and said no more than two words to. What was wrong with her? Had it really been that long since she's been with anyone? Was Edgar really worth the hell that would befall them both if anyone were to find out about her attempts to make direct contact with him? She groaned, gaining the attention of her maid who seemed nervous. "My apologies your highness. Have I displeased you somehow?" Ayanda shook her head. "Oh no forgive me! I was lost in thought. Would you mind gathering me some pillows to sit on? I'd like to embrace the warmth of the flames as closely as possible." "Right away milady!" she declared before rushing to the decorative cabinet in the room to grab a few of the large pillows to place before the hearth for Ayanda. Before the attendant could turn back to her, Ayanda quickly removed the note from her pocket and tossed it into the fire, watching it along with the consequences that went with it, burn away before standing formally before the fireplace while her maidservant headed back with the pillows. Ayanda watched her set up the pillows in an immaculate manner before standing and stepping back with a dramatic sway of her arm to indicate that the set up was now ready. Ayanda grinned. "Thank you. That will be all." The maid curtseyed and moved to stand just three feet away from Ayanda, giving her the poor illusion of solitude. Ayanda reached out a hand towards the fire and sighed as she wished she could ask her servant to join her. She desperately needed a friend to confide in about her conflicting feelings of wanting to protect her real family and true home by marrying Cesar and birthing his children, while having an overwhelming and steady growing need to confess everything to Edgar. She traced the underside of her bottom lip with the tip of her forefinger as a memory from her life before Obren suddenly came to mind;
An eight-year-old Robyn sat on a large, checkered blanket in a log cabin during winter before a roaring fire with several of her giggling cousins around her. They all sipped hot chocolate and laughed as they listened to one of their five adult family members who were with them, tell them a scary story. "One cold, winter night just like this one, six little girls sat around the fire listening to ghost stories," "No uncle Ron that's too scary!" one of her cousins yelled, making them all agree before finishing off their hot chocolates. Mini melted marshmallows with crushed peppermint floating on top of the rich, chocolate drink that swirled with crumbled gingerbread cookies cascaded over Robyn's tongue in a hot, rich wave of flavor before running down her throat and making her shiver with joy. An aunt of theirs came from the kitchen to take their empty cups and they all huddled together as their uncle Ron who sat on a stool in front of the fireplace, asked if they wanted him to finish the story or not. "It can't be a story about us or kids like us 'cause that's too scary!" "Yeah! If it's gonna be that scary then I'd rather go upstairs and play video games with the boys!" Robyn and her other cousins audibly agreed with the ones who had spoken up, making their uncle Ron sigh and drop his shoulders. "You girls are no fun. Okay time for bed then!" "No!" They shouted in unison making him hold up his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright then you have to give me a second to make up- I mean remember another good campfire story for you rug rats." The girls giggled as they watched him dramatically tap his finger to his chin and frown before scratching his head and going, "hmmm," while he tried to think of another tale to tell his nieces. He suddenly snapped his fingers with a wide-eyed grin which made the girls all jump. "Uncle Ron, you scared us!" "That's 'cause y'all are a bunch of scaredy cats. Okay so I've got a much better story; are you ready?" They all looked at each other, linked arms and nodded. He cleared his throat, raised his arms in a crooked manner and leaned forward for dramatic affect as he told them the story of a witch in the woods;
"There once lived a woman with bright curly hair.
Everywhere she went, people would stare.
Tired of it all, she built a house in the woods.
Any guests she had ended up staying for good.
She lived in this house for many years, her disappearing guests increasing others fears.
One day the woman invited the town's mayor to her home.
'You're welcome to come but you must come alone.'
Afraid though he was, he agreed with a groan.
He showed up that day surprised to see,
There was nothing to fear as the house was pretty.
The woman welcomed him with a smile and a hug.
'Come out of the cold and you'll be warm as a bug!'
She fed him many treats until he was nice, fat and full.
'Why I feel so silly for thinking you cruel!'
'You're a very nice woman, with hair like the sun!'
'Now that I know this, I've got to run!'
He tried to move but was much too fat,
'Silly mayor, you're staying here and that's that!'
'But I have to get home,' he said with concern.
'Oh my dear, you have a lesson to learn.'
'You people avoided me time and again,'
'No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find a friend.'
'I came to the woods to be all alone,
'And found that my heart became like a stone.'
'Loneliness surrounded me, and I began to cry,'
'Until the day someone dropped by.'
'They got lost in the woods and needed some help,'
'Since I have the room and am all by myself,'
'I said sure come in! I'll make you some tea!'
'And after all that time I wasn't lonely.'
'They stayed and we laughed until the crack of dawn,'
'Then they said that they better move on.'
'It broke my heart for them to leave,'
'It felt like I lost something and needed to grieve.'
'Not wanting to feel this way ever again,'
'I knew I had to have a friend.'
'So I made up my house to draw people in.'
'I filled it with treats for them to enjoy,'
'But there was a fatal flaw in my ploy.'
'I had to keep them from being able to leave,'
'So I pulled a trick from out of my sleeve.'
'The treats they all love are not what they seem,'
'The way they look is part of my scheme.'
The mayor looked down at his belly and leftover food,
The woman's words now changing his mood.
'If what I just ate is not what I thought,'
'Then what is it instead?' He asked feeling more fraught.
'It's hay!' she replied with much glee.
'Now you'll stay here forever with me!'
'What purpose does it serve to fill me with hay?'
'Why to dry you out and stitch you up so you'll always stay.'
'Stitch me up?' he asked, wanting nothing more than to leave.
The witch ducked as a button popped from his sleeve.
She laughed as he yelled out in alarm,
'What's going on?' the hay now bursting through his arm.'
'Finding friends is hard so I make them instead,'
Explained the witch as she got a needle and thread.
'You see people leave but dolls simply can't,'
The mayor grew fatter as she continued her rant.
'My chimney releases aromas to draw people in,'
'My nice-looking house all part of my plan,'
'To trap them inside and gain their trust,'
'Then stuff them with hay which is a must,'
'So I can turn them to dolls after they bust.'
The mayor gurgled and fell as he tried to escape,
But the witch simply tsked as he succumbed to his fate.
She stitched him all up with her needle and thread,
Knowing full well he wasn't dead.
Her spell doesn't kill it just traps them within,
Turning the unlucky visitors into her undead friends.
After she finished stitching him up,
She wiped her brow with a smile and a huff.
An ominous creaking loud as a roar,
Rang through the house as she opened the basement door.
They descended the stairs to the dark room below,
A place no one would choose to go.
'Here's where you'll stay as my brand-new friend,'
She said as she placed him on a shelf where he'd spend,
The rest of his days with others who dared enter her home,
She sighed blissfully, 'Now I'm never alone.'
Ron's nieces all stared up at him with big glassy eyes as his story came to an end. "Uncle Ron?" "Yes?" "Is.....is that a true story?" He thoughtfully pursed his lips. "The lesson certainly is." "What's the lesson?" He leaned in close and said, "To never ever trust a witch in the woods offering treats." Just then their aunt who had gathered up their empty mugs came back in with a plate of plain Christmas cookies, stencils, sprinkles and different colored frosting and said, "Who wants to decorate some cookies?" which made the girls all scream and scramble to hide under the blanket they sat on. Ron doubled over in laughter while she looked at the girls in confusion before turning to Ron. "What on earth did you say to them?" He wiped away the tears from laughter that were streaming down his face as he struggled to talk. "You have the world's best timing!"
Ayanda brought a hand to her chest and smirked to herself when she felt a pang of nostalgia as she thought about how for days afterwards, her and all her cousins believed their aunt was a witch that made people into dolls. She and her cousins had all been so close when they were younger, but then seemed to swiftly drift apart during their high school years. It saddened her when she realized how much she had distanced herself from her whole family before she was forced to come to another country and pretend to be its long-lost princess. Now there was no chance to reconcile with them or even make up for it other than to ensure their safety by continuing her current ruse as the princess of Obren, and marrying a man she has yet to meet. She sighed heavily before getting to her feet and letting her maidservant know she was ready to go back to bed.
The next morning while she was being prepared for the day by her eldest maidservant named Elna who was only twenty years old, Ayanda decided to ask Elna about Edgar's movements since he first arrived in hopes of finding a time in his schedule where he would be alone. "I am curious about Craorus' ambassador. What have his days looked like since he's been here?" Elna's brows furrowed while she concentrated on making sure the dress she had picked out fit Ayanda's form well. "I am not entirely sure milady. Aside from delegations with our ambassadors Steven and Joseph, he seems to enjoy touring the gardens before lunch." Ayanda nodded thoughtfully. "Ah I see. By himself?" "Umm yes milady from what I've seen. It's the only solitude he gets." Ayanda sucked in her lips to fight back the hopeful grin that threatened to give away her inappropriate interest in a man who wasn't any sort of eligible suitor for her. "Well, I can't blame him. I appreciate all my servants and the king and queen have done for me, but I can't help but miss having time alone. And the grounds are quite beautiful, wouldn't you agree?" Elna glanced up at her for just a moment to smile and nod. "Yes milady." Ayanda straightened, daring to press Elna a bit more on Edgar and his habits. "Which of the gardens does he visit most?" "The uhh garden on the east side." "Oh I should've guessed. It is the most captivating of all the land during the day if I do say so," Ayanda replied a little too eagerly. There was silence for a bit before Elna decided to speak again, the usual stiffness in her body language turning even more rigid while she talked. "May I be so bold as to inquire about her highness' interest in a man whose standing greatly falls beneath that of her own?" Ayanda practically gulped. 'Damn, I pushed too hard.' Ayanda's eyes shook as she thought of how best to address what sounded like an accusation. She could go the regal route and say Elna's implication insulted her, but Elna was a sweet and intuitive young woman whom Ayanda noticed, the other maidservants looked to for guidance like an older sister. She didn't want to do anything to get her in trouble which is exactly what would happen if Ayanda accused her of offending a royal. Ayanda cleared her throat and stood tall. "His standing may be marred due to his lineage, but…. he is still the older brother of the man I hope to marry." She quickly studied Elna's face to see how she reacted to the explanation. Elna's worried expression became confused. "Forgive me your highness but I don't understand the correlation?" "Siblings often take on the same characteristics of one another and seeing as I have no choice but to wait until I can meet my future betrothed, I would like to gather every bit of insight into the kind of person he is as possible." Elna's chest and shoulders dropped, and her face looked more relaxed as she seemed to accept Ayanda's answer which helped a worried Ayanda to relax as well. The corners of Ayanda's mouth twitched up in pride at being able to convince Elna that her curiosity in Edgar was purely innocent. 'Okay so now all I have to do is sneak out to the gardens before lunch and I'll be able to spend time with Edgar alone.' Ayanda smoothed out her dress and looked at her reflection with a thoughtful frown of approval once Elna was done with her adjustments. She thanked Elna and sent her on her way. Ayanda then took a leisurely stroll with the mandatory guard she was assigned ever since Edgar's arrival and a handmaiden around the sides of the castle which faced the gardens and made a mental note of every adjacent security camera and how many times she saw the castle security make their rounds. 'Obstacles to overcome; my own personal guard and servant, the knights of the castle who check for anything suspicious, and the oscillating cameras. Yeah, this'll be a piece of cake,' she joked to herself as she, her guard and maid headed back inside. She caught a quick sight of Edgar and his people entering the dining room for breakfast after she and her mother had left. Though it may have just been her imagination, she swore she saw him look to her out the side of his eye and give a subtle grim before moving out of sight. She knew the connection she felt upon meeting him was far too intense to be one sided. That night, she was so anxious that she had to take a sedative to calm herself after formulating a plan to be alone with Edgar so she could rest. When she rose the next morning, she had four of her maidservants accompany her to the bathing room closest to the south side of the castle and then asked them all to wait outside the door for her after having drawn her a bath and letting her personal security thoroughly search the room. "I need some time to myself. If I need anything at all, I will call on you." They all curtseyed to her and said, "Yes milady," in unison before she headed inside and closed the door behind her. She then hastily removed her royal robes and pulled out a tightly folded simple dress like the ones worn by her maidens while on duty, which she had managed to sneak away from the servant's laundry room the night before and hide within her own robes. She hung the robes up on the white gold hooks near the door, slipped on the dress and let down her hair. Her hands shook as she hurriedly made a side braid to match the hairstyle of her servants before opening the window as quietly as she could. It creaked loudly on the final push. "Is her highness alright?" Asked one of her maidens through the door. Ayanda swore under her breath and quickly tip-toed closer to the bath. "Everything's fine! I..... just wanted a bit of fresh air!" There was silence from the other side of the door for a moment that made Ayanda's stomach flip until she heard her personal maid call back, "please don't hesitate to call on us milady!" Ayanda breathed a quiet sigh of relief. "Of course!" She replied before going back to the window and climbing out. It was three feet from the ground, making it difficult for Ayanda to land quietly. She struggled and grunted as she lowered herself steadily as she could until she felt the earth beneath her shoes. "Phew," she said to herself while she turned to case the area for any guards making their hourly rounds. Ayanda pressed herself against the wall as best she could while she crept in order to avoid being seen by both the cameras and the guards. Her heart beat like a drum as she rounded the corner, narrowly escaping a passing guard. 'That was too close! Girl what the fuck are you doing? If you get caught....' she let the thought trail off in her mind so she could stay focused. Finally, she made it to the east side of the castle where the summer gardens sat. She squeezed into a corner where the eye of a camera sat a few feet above her head and drew in a deep, calming breath through her rounded lips. 'Okay I'll wait for the camera to turn and then I'll just run straight for the gardens.' She started counting down from five under her breath when she suddenly heard something that sounded like slicing from around the corner. She moved until she could see through the gaps of the four wide Tuscan pillars that helped hold up a small balcony high above. Her breath caught when she saw Edgar, alone and leaned back against the ledge between one of the columns with a pear and stylish pocketknife in his hands. He sliced into the plump, yellow fruit, causing the juices from within to trickle down the side of his thumb. He pressed his lips against his hand to mop up the juice before placing the slice in his mouth. Ayanda gulped and looked around. There was only the two of them around and the only camera was the one she stood under, which from what she could tell from how far it turned and where it was positioned, wouldn't see her or him because the posts were in the way causing a blind spot. She looked through the pillars once more and saw that there was also a small space between the columns and the wall of the castle which offered even more privacy. 'This is exactly the kind of spot people would hook up at if they were sneaking around,' she thought before approaching Edgar. Her chest rose as she sucked in air through her parted mouth, at a loss on how best to address him as she got closer. Before she could even think of a proper greeting, Edgar's eyes shot to her and grew wide with recognition. He straightened and scanned the area behind her. "Where is her highness' royal guard? Or handmaidens?" It felt like her stomach was doing back flips as he looked her over curiously. "That dress is not befitting of a royal," her knees went weak as his eyes rose to meet hers. "It is when that royal wish's not to be recognized as one from afar." The corners of Edgar's mouth pulled up into a small, sly grin. "Ahh I see. You were hoping to sneak away.... during bath time?" Ayanda frowned in confusion and followed his gaze to her feet which were wearing the slippers that matched the robes she left behind. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "Well, I had to make do with what I could sneak away in." Edgar nodded and leaned back against a post. "And why did her highness want to get away?" His relaxed attitude at being around her in such a casual manner even though she knew that he knew full well being caught together like this would lead to ruin and perhaps even death, left her feeling even more beguiled by him. He cut off another piece of the pear, but this time offered it up to her on the end of his blade. When she stepped forward to reach for it, Edgar subtly pulled it back a bit, meaning she would have to move even closer to take it. Her eyes narrowed as they stared at one another while she moved in a step closer than necessary and laid the tips of her fingers against the slice of fruit, choosing to linger there for a second in the electric atmosphere their shared tension caused between them before removing the piece of pear from the knife's edge and placing it in her mouth. Her expression brightened, making Edgar smile knowingly. "This is possibly the best pear I've ever had." "Compliments of my home. I brought it and others in a basket filled with many sorts of delicacies to show my gratitude for your father and ambassadors choosing to meet with me and my advisors." "I can't wait to try the other treats you've graced us with. To answer your question from before; I snuck away to see you.... alone." Edgar raised a brow. "Me? What interest does her highness have in me? Especially alone?" Ayanda moved to sit merely a foot away from him on the columns' ledge as she looked out at the gardens. "I am curious about the man I am set to marry and want to hear about who he is from someone who knows him intimately." "Forgive me your highness but you're assuming my brother and I are close," "are you not?" She asked while turning her attention back to him. He smirked. "My duties keep me away from home but whenever I return, my brother and I prove to be in good standing." "So you can tell me what I wish to know?" "That depends on what you ask of me." Ayanda looked to the sky thoughtfully. "Just if he is the type of man a woman would be happy to commit herself to." Edgar stayed silent for a long moment before saying, "and we had to be alone for you to ask this?" "Yes," she replied as she turned back to him. His expression was curious and suggestive. "Why?" Ayanda swallowed and looked away as she dared to inch closer. She turned back to see that they were now only half a foot from one another and said, "I find that people are able to be more candid without an audience." Edgar's eyes traveled the length of her body before he gave a thoughtful frown and cut off another piece of pear. "I've found this to be true myself in the past. Though I don't see why you would trust my word on the matter when I too will benefit from the unity your marriage to him would bring." "Hmm I guess that's a fair point." She said with a bob of her head. After a second, she dared to ask, "do you resent that he now holds a position that was once yours?" This question seemed to catch Edgar off guard as his calm demeanor hardened slightly. "I have been asked that many times over the years," he said rather coldly compared to his earlier tone. "And?" Ayanda pressed. "The answer has always remained an emphatic no." His answer surprised her. She wasn't sure but it felt like he was holding something back. "You have no desire to be part of your family's monarchy?" "I suppose at one time I did but I enjoy my work as an ambassador. I can serve my country without all the expectations and restrictions that come with a royal title." Ayanda thought of further closing the gap between them when he suddenly stood and squared his broad shoulders. "The longer we stay out in the open like this, the more likely it is that someone will happen upon us." Even though she knew he was right, Ayanda's heart still sank at the thought of the time she so desperately wanted with this man who had captured her heart upon their first glance, ending as quickly as it had begun. He turned to her after pocketing his knife and playfully tossed her the rest of the pear. She caught it with both hands. He bowed at the waist to her and said, "until next we meet." He then descended the stairs to the garden and disappeared behind the hedges, leaving her by herself. Ayanda sat there, enjoying the taste of the last bit of the crisp, juicy pear and relishing the moments she had shared with Edgar, before she realized she had best be getting back to the bathing room. She quickly headed back the way she came and climbed back in through the window, now a little sweaty and slightly breathless. 'Never thought I'd be grateful to Joseph and Steven for anything, but thank goodness they put me on that exercise program or else I'd be so much more exhausted by now.' She thought before falling to the marble floor and landing on her side with a gasp, commanding a knock from her still waiting servants. "Your highness?" "Uhh yes?" "Is everything all right? You've been silent for quite some time." "Oh, have I? This bath is just so relaxing!" She groaned out as she fumbled out of her dress, hastily folded it back up and tucked it away into her robes before practically ripping out her hair while unbraiding it. She stopped moving once she heard the sound of the doorknob giving way beneath someone's touch. "You sound distressed," said one of the maidens while slowly turning the knob. Quick as she could, Ayanda climbed the two steps to the grand, round tub and got in, panic filling her when she saw her dirty slippers lying on the floor beside the tub with a few messy footprints leading from the window. Her head snapped from the door to where her slippers were as she flopped out of the tub, grabbed a hand towel from the sink and speedily mopped up the dirty footprints. "Distressed? No, no I'm just.... washing myself!" Her face scrunched as she cringed at the poor excuse she had given for all the noise. She gasped and moaned out in pain as she slipped on the marble floor, landing on her bare hip after managing to clean up her tracks from outside. Knowing her moans were most certainly heard, she jumped to her feet, grabbed her dirty slippers and hopped back in the tub before the door opened just enough for one of her maidens to peek in. She looked around before resting her eyes on Ayanda. "Apologies milady, I thought you were in need of assistance." Ayanda gave her a much too wide grin in response and waved her off. "Oh no I was just very much enjoying myself. Everyone who drew my bath has earned a bonus!" The servant gave Ayanda a look that let her know she didn't understand what a bonus was. Ayanda held up a finger. "What I meant to say is you've all earned a little extra monetary compensation. I'll ask the king to speak with the royal treasurer about it." Her handmaiden's face lit up and whispered gasps from those outside the door let Ayanda know they had also heard her. "Uhh thank you your highness. You're most kind." Ayanda nodded and then blew out dramatically through her lips when her servant closed the door. Ayanda pulled the slippers from the bath and examined them. "Huh. Not as filthy as I thought they'd be," she said to herself before dunking them back into the water and rubbing them together to give them a final rinse. She then squeezed them out and set them down on the bath's edge beside her and rung out the hand towel she had used to clean up the floor. "After my little adventure today, I actually need a good soak," she said to herself as she sighed contently and sunk down against the tub and into the still warm, silky water.
Ayanda found it more arduous to sneak away the following day as the bathing room was currently in use. She instead asked not to be disturbed as she wished to nap before her afternoon meal and snuck off from the window of her bedroom to the east side of the castle which was a much farther walk than it had been yesterday. She wiped her brow when she finally reached the south terrace and rested against one of the pillars. "I've really got to step up on my cardio while I'm still here," she panted. "Someone's confident about their chances with my brother," said Edgar, making her jump and turn to find him facing her with his arms crossed while leaning a shoulder against one of the columns. He laughed at her reaction, a sound she found almost as alluring as his voice whenever he spoke. She quickly recomposed herself and pulled back her hair which had become disheveled during her creeping. "It's impolite to sneak up on a lady," "that would be true if I had done so. I was here for a full minute before you came graciously stomping about." Ayanda's jaw dropped, further amusing Edgar. "You are quite cheeky to be speaking to a royal in this way." Edgar stepped away from the pillar to stand before her, their close proximity breaking down every bit of resolve she had. "I could say the same for you. Is the threat our two interactions pose to us and our homes if anyone were to find out, truly worth the knowledge you hope to gain from me about my brother?" Ayanda looked dreamily into his eyes. "If it's not then why haven't you said anything to anyone? This is on me not you seeing as I'm the one who ditched my guards to seek you out." Edgar tucked his arms behind his back and began to circle her in a playful manner. "Perhaps but no one would see it that way. I am considered to be lesser than even a noble, therefore my word holds little weight against that of a royals'. Especially in her own home." Ayanda stood still and turned her head to follow him as he moved around her. "You're not afraid of the consequences you would suffer if we were caught?" "I am, but my curiosity about you proves to be outweighing all logical thought. The princess of Obren returned to her kingdom after so many years away. I'd think your parents would do anything to keep you close," "they probably would if they had any other choice." Ayanda's eyes stretched as she realized a moment too late the severity of her words. Edgar stopped right in front of her and tilted his head to the side. "What does her highness mean by that?" "I just meant that I'm their last child and your brother isn't going to stay single forever and merging our countries is too great an opportunity to pass up." She quickly sputtered. Edgar's brow furrowed as he studied her face. 'Damn that was stupid. If he finds out that Sadiki and Omolara are sick and that we're in desperate need of military defense, he'll surely decide against unifying Obren and Craorus,' she thought as he looked her over before finally saying, "that is all true. Still, it must be difficult for them to let you go so soon after getting you back." Ayanda felt herself relax at the fact he had believed her explanation for her blunder and said, "it is but duty comes before love." Edgar practically rolled his eyes. "Another reason why I am happy to be free of the monarchy." He went to sit and Ayanda followed him. "Can I ask, why you speak English so well? I understand you know a variety of languages due to your travels but... I don't know you just speak it so much better than Obren's ambassadors to the point where I barely hear your true accent, which I assume is the accent of your home?" He nodded. "It is but it is quite muddled because of all my moving around. When I was little after my father passed, I was sent to the United States to receive the best education possible. I spent nine years there before I returned to Craorus." "Oh. Does anyone else speak English in Craorus?" "Everyone within the castle does, although that is likely because of me. When I first returned home after my time away, I made it a point to teach my brother English so we could speak without being understood by others," Ayanda's mouth opened as she gave him a wide smile of amusement. "Sounds like you were a little troublemaker back then." Edgar laughed. "Perhaps a little. Our coded speech didn't last long though as my mother and the staff were determined to learn the language once they figured out what we were up to." Ayanda admired the gleam in his eye as he reminisced about his past. "Do you miss the time you spent overseas?" "Though I'm quite grateful for my past experiences, I hardly spend my time focusing on them," "why?" "Because placing too much thought on the past or even the future, takes away from the present. And I much enjoy taking in each current moment." Ayanda groaned. "Please tell me you're not a womanizer like your brother. Because that is exactly what a philanderer would say." Edgar snorted. "I see his reputation proceeds him. I've never seen the point in sowing my wild oats. I prefer the enthralling simplicity of getting to know every facet of one specific person while simultaneously sharing all that you are with them in return. Wouldn't you agree?" Ayanda nodded slowly, completely captivated by his words. She blushed when she realized she was staring. "Apologies for gawking at you but…. you just speak so….. eloquently. It's refreshing." Ayanda noticed a bit of humility in his eyes as he smiled at her. "Thank you, your highness. If my brother is as intelligent as he likes others to believe, then he will be as diligent in taking you for a bride as he is in finding a warm body for the night." Ayanda was about to reply when Edgar got to his feet. "You're not leaving again, are you?" He looked to Ayanda who cleared her throat when she recognized how alarmed she had sounded just then. "I just.... very much enjoy your company." "Glad to be around someone who is also familiar with America?" She felt a small wave of panic hit her before she remembered that as Ayanda, she's supposed to have spent the last twenty-two years in the states after her abduction which everyone was made aware of thanks to Steven and Joseph before her arrival. "Yes. I may have been born here but my life was over there so it's difficult not to miss." "I sympathize with your plight, but it isn't wise to continue spending time like this." "Even if it's what we both want?" Edgar gave her a look to which she replied, "if you didn't want to see me again, you wouldn't have said 'until next we meet' yesterday before leaving." Edgar grinned sheepishly and dropped his head. "Ahhh," he exhaled before looking back up, face alight with glee. "How about this? From now on, I will stay on the outside of the posts, and you can sit behind them where you can't be seen." Ayanda's face brightened. "That's actually a good idea. That way any passersby will only see you and plus I won't have to take the extra risk of getting caught when I steal my maidens' clothes to disguise myself." Edgar snorted and nodded once in agreement. "Exactly. Now I suggest we not press our luck any further today," he said while taking a quick look around as he approached Ayanda, making her go lightheaded at the whiff of his intoxicating scent as he got closer than either of them had dared too before. "I will see you again tomorrow princess." He took her hand in his and graced it with a kiss before turning on his heel and leaving, letting her know it was time to head back to her room before any of her servants or even her mother tried to check on her and discovered the mound of pillows she had placed beneath her sheets to make it look like she was sleeping.
During the next several days of his visit, Edgar and Ayanda met on the eastern terrace to talk and laugh and even enjoy a small snack together. Although their moments together were far too short for her liking, it always made Ayanda's day, that is until the time for Edgar to return to Crarous crept up on them like a thief in the night. Edgar sat silently with his back against a column and looked out over the gardens while Ayanda sat hidden on the other side against the back of the pillar next to him. "Have you ever seen the nocturnal garden at night?" she asked. He inhaled deeply through his nose but said nothing in response. "It's what I imagine heaven looks like," she continued. "It's heavenly when the flowers bloom and the plants glimmer beneath the rays of moonlight. Unlike anything I've ever seen before." They sat in silence for a while before Edgar said, "My people and I leave the morning after tomorrow." It felt like someone had grabbed hold of her heart and tugged. "I know," she whispered. He turned his head to the side to cast his eyes upon her through the gap between the pillars. "I didn't expect to.... when I first came here, I didn't know...." he groaned frustratingly and ran his hands down his face before beating the side of his balled fist against the post's edge. Ayanda craned her neck to look at Edgar. He was the most breath-taking man she had ever laid eyes on. When she became so determined to meet with him privately after their first introduction, she thought that maybe he wouldn't hold up to what she had imagined in her mind. That maybe once she spent time with him, she would end up sorely disappointed. But that small pinch of doubt in the possibility of Edgar being anything but amazing proved to be false as every second she spent in his presence only made her heart grow fonder, and every moment spent away from him after their time together only made her even more anxious to see him again. The threat Steven and Joseph had made against her true country and her actual family was still viable, so she knew she had to do everything in her power to make Cesar choose her, but she couldn't help but wonder if there was any way for her to abdicate the duties forced upon her for a chance at happiness with Edgar. Her eyes traveled down to his hand, and she reached out with hers to gently graze the back of his knuckles with her fingertips. Her sight went blurry with tears when she felt him interlock his fingers with hers. She wanted to draw his palm to her face and press her lips against it. She wanted to take in the scent of his wrist and pull him into her. She let out a shuddering breath when his thumb caressed hers. "Ayanda," he breathed out her false name making her heart skip a beat, and making her wish to hear him moan her real name. Time felt like it had frozen just for them before Edgar smacked them both with the harsh reality of their situation by uttering the words, "I have to go." Ayanda sucked in air through her gritted teeth as he pulled his hand away and stood to leave, the sound of his retreating boots like a twisting knife in her gut. When she could no longer hear him walking away from her, she jumped up and headed back inside through the doors of the east terrace, instantly heading for her room. Her broken heart causing her not to care about any attention she may have drawn from those within the castle. She fell to her bed and cried into her pillow. 'I was so wrong to think that I had survived the worst of all this shit. How will I be able to even focus on getting Cesar to fall for me when I'm so completely in love with his brother?' She thought while attempting to stifle her sobs so the guards wouldn't be alarmed and feel the need to check on her.
She moved through the rest of the day in a fog. All she could think about was Edgar and how much she hated that he wasn't the one she had to marry. Her romantic past before her abduction left much to the imagination as she had only ever been in three relationships her whole life. The first was with a boy from another school when she was thirteen that only lasted two months, the next was when she was eighteen with a boy she had met at college that lasted three years after she had given him her virginity and finally the third was to a guy she had met at a club when she was twenty-four who, after a year and a half of dating, chose to randomly cut all communication with her. She never heard from him again and hadn't found another guy who she felt a genuine attraction to or connection with until Edgar. The guys of her past had always made her feel inadequate because of her weight and according to Joseph it was going to be more of the same with Cesar despite her having lost a significant amount of it due to Joseph and Steven's interventions. Although she hated it, she had grown used to the mistreatment and hateful remarks about her looks, thinking that she would never find anyone who would truly love her for her, but then Edgar came into her life. He made her feel like she was the most gorgeous woman in the world. Selfish though it may be, she wished he would stop holding back his obvious feelings. If this truly was the last time they would ever be able to be alone, then she wanted him to say the things she was dying to hear. He always made sure to stay guarded about his desires whenever they met up until today. Feeling his hand in hers was the most thrilling and natural experience that only left her wanting more.
The next day, Ayanda rushed to their meeting spot a bit earlier than usual and her eagerness was so overwhelming that she sat on the outside of the columns where any passersby could see. She tapped her fingers against her knees while she waited, each passing second feeling like a year. She closed her eyes. 'Please show up,' she begged in her mind as the seconds continued to tick on by. "You shouldn't have come." She immediately stood and turned to see Edgar standing just at the side of the pillar beneath the shade of the terrace. "I almost didn't come. Meeting here like this every day of my stay has been the single most foolish thing either of us have ever done." She scoffed and took a step forward. "I don't care." "You should! We both should care enough to walk away this instant. All it takes is one witness to eviscerate any hopes of uniting our countries and destroying both of our reputations. All for a few stolen moments together.... it's not worth it." Her jaw dropped and she recoiled as though she had been slapped. "How can you say that?" His expression was stern. "Because it's true. Turn away from your childish fantasies and go back to your room." Anger at the harshness in his tone and coldness in his eyes melted the hurt she had felt. "No." He let out an exasperated exhale and shook his head. "Foolish woman. It's as you said before; duty over love." She took another step towards him. "Is that what you really want? For me to marry another man?" He straightened up and raised a brow. "Keep your distance," he warned. She pressed on. fully ignoring his warning. "And not just any other man, but for me to marry your younger brother?" An all-consuming fire shone in his eyes as she continued to approach him. "I mean it Ayanda." Edgar growled. "For Cesar to hold me, kiss me, call me his wife and make love to me while you're off making deals in other countries?" She hissed as she inched ever closer, only stopping once she was less than a foot away from him. "Is that what you want Edgar?" The words had barely left her mouth when quick as lightning, Edgar reached out, took hold of her wrist and pulled her to him behind the post and out of sight. Their breathing grew heavy as they stood there in the shade with no space between their bodies, something Ayanda only ever dreamed would happen with her and Edgar. He grabbed Ayanda's arms and pressed her up against the column. "You asked before if I was jealous of my brother now holding a position that was once mine?" Ayanda let out a small moan through her parted lips. "And you said you weren't." "No, I said the answer had always remained an emphatic no..... until I met you." Her knees buckled and a strange sense of joy filled her aching heart. Hesitantly, Edgar's hands moved from her arms to her waist, making her breath catch in her throat. "Somehow, I have come to want you more than I have ever wanted any woman," she gasped when he lifted her up onto the pillar's ledge and grabbed a handful of her skirt. "The thought of my brother or any man having you fills me with a rage I didn't know I had." He admitted while pulling up her skirt and positioning himself firmly between her parted knees which she willingly spread more for him once he exposed her legs. Edgar placed one hand on her bare thigh causing her to shudder while his other hand ran up the side of her body and rested against her neck. Her pulse quickened as she watched his warm brown eyes trace every facet of her face while his thumb rested in the hollow of her throat. "If all we have is this moment; then consequences be damned." He said before pressing his mouth against hers and making her arch into him as waves of ecstasy raced throughout her body. Heat rushed to the place north of her thighs and her bosom heaved as he placed his hands on the small of her back and pulled her more into him while their tongues began to collide. Her hands found their way to the back of his head before travelling to the sides of his neck and down his chest. He broke the kiss for just a moment to say, "be mine." Ayanda quivered. "I'm all yours. Only yours. Forever." He practically growled as he kissed her again, whispering her name as her mouth moved along his jaw until she reached the hollow of his throat to breathe him in. He pressed his hands firmly against her back while her hands travelled down his stomach until they reached the top of his pants. When she began to undo them, Edgar suddenly grabbed both her wrists, broke the kiss and looked in her eyes that were begging for him not to stop. He touched his forehead to hers and said, "we can't." before moving away from her to fix his clothes as inconspicuously as possible before taking a moment to mentally collect himself. Ayanda breathed out tersely and got to her feet, smoothing out her dress and pulling back her hair that their kiss had mussed. "You are cruel," she said with a broken voice. He looked to her, his eyes filled with hurt as he walked back over to her, brought his arm above his head and rested it against the pillar. "You know that we can't do this. You may not care now what will become of us and our countries if we were discovered, but you will." "Then let's leave! Let's just go now and leave everything else behind!" He brought a finger to her lips and shushed her. She sucked in a shaky breath through her mouth and grabbed his hand to hold it against her cheek, her tears smearing his palm. His eyes smoldered as he watched her bring his wrist to her nose to breathe in his scent, causing him to move closer. "Believe me when I tell you that I want nothing more in this world than to take you away, and make you my wife." Ayanda let out a small sob and he took her face in both hands. "This is more than us. We must think of our people." She wanted to fall apart in his arms and confess the truth of who she really was, but would knowing she wasn't really Ayanda change his mind? Or would it make him dig his heels in deeper knowing that the consequences for her impersonating a royal would be far worse than what she faced if anyone even suspected her feelings for Edgar? He stroked her hair and pulled her into an embrace. She laid her head against his chest and listened to the strong, sure rhythm of his heart. "I want to go home and tell my mother and brother that Obren isn't a good fit but all that would do is ensure you wouldn't marry Cesar. We both know that because of my status, we shall never be more than we are now." She sobbed at the truth in his words and looked back up into his eyes. He inclined his head and kissed her again, breaking her heart even more as she felt the goodbye in what she was sure would be their last kiss. When it came to an end, he briskly turned from her and walked away without looking back. Ayanda wasn't sure how she managed to make her way back inside and all the way to her room after feeling like her heart had been torn form her chest and tossed into a woodchipper but somehow, she had. She turned down both lunch and dinner, having the strength to do nothing but lie in bed for the rest of the day.
The next morning after breakfast, Edgar and his entourage were met in the grand foyer by King Sadiki, Queen Omolara, Steven and Joseph and Ayanda to say farewell. Edgar bowed his head when he and Sadiki shook hands. "It was truly an honor to meet his majesty and I look forward to future negotiations with Obren." said Edgar before turning to Omolara. He bowed fully and said, "her majesty's generosity knows no bounds." Omolara simply smiled in response and gave a nod. Steven and Joseph once again watched closely as Edgar turned to Ayanda. She practically held her breath to keep from crying as his eyes bored into hers with enough intensity to melt a glacier. "Until my eyes next rest upon you." Her breath caught making her throat go dry as he leaned forward to bow to her too before straightening and making his way out the door with his entourage. Everything seemed to slow down in that final moment right before Edgar disappeared from her sight. Though she wished with everything in her for a final look back from him, he walked on while looking straight ahead which only further shattered her heart. As the door closed on Edgar and his entourage, every fiber of Ayanda's being screamed for her to either run away to her room, or to run after Edgar. But she knew to show even an ounce of how truly distraught she was over Edgar leaving, a man who was not only not her intended but was also considered her lesser due to circumstances completely out of both their control, would be like signing his death warrant and branding herself a whore.