Oh gosh, I must not look like a slob!
Olaedo straightened in her seat, trying to remember everything she had ever seen in those online "how to eat like a lady" videos.
She had grown up eating with her hands, gravy stains on tablecloths were practically part of her family's culture. But here? Here she was supposed to behave like a lady. Whatever that meant.
Maybe I should start with not using my napkin as a bib.
Her hands, which had been steady moments ago, began fidgeting with the edge of the napkin. Her throat felt dry, too dry, and she knew it wasn't from the food.
She lifted her fork with exaggerated care, trying to eat slowly and elegantly. Every movement felt wrong. Every bite felt like an exam she wasn't prepared for.
This is harder than I thought! I really have to take a table manners class when I get home.
If only she knew, Chibuzor wasn't even watching her. He was too deep in thought, mentally rehearsing how to introduce the most absurd proposal of his life: a contract marriage.
Thirty minutes later, the waiters cleared the table, and silence filled the room again, thick, suffocating, and impossible to ignore. There was nothing left to distract them now.
Olaedo's back was damp with sweat. She sat perfectly straight, trying not to fidget. Her heart thumped like a drum as she waited for this great Buddha of a man to speak.
She had never been this nervous, not even when she pitched her company to skeptical investors years ago. Something about Chibuzor's presence made her feel she had to impress him.
After all, this was her number one mentor.
Ten long minutes crawled by before Chibuzor finally cleared his throat. His voice came out steady, deep, deliberate, like he had practiced it too many times.
"Miss Olaedo," he began, locking eyes with her, "I have a deal that can change your life. It's not your usual kind of business deal, but I believe it will benefit you more than any offer you've ever received."
He paused, expression unreadable.
"That is, if you accept."
This is weird. What kind of deal is this?
Olaedo blinked, her brows drawing together as she studied Chibuzor's calm, unreadable face. And why is he acting differently today? Usually, he goes straight to the point. His online description said so.
The growing knot in her stomach tightened.
Sensing her confusion, Chibuzor sighed quietly and decided to end the suspense. Without another word, he slid a thick brown file across the table toward her. "This will explain everything better than I can."
She hesitated, then picked it up.
The moment her eyes landed on the bold, black title at the top of the document, her brain momentarily shut down.
CONTRACT MARRIAGE AGREEMENT
Her soul almost escaped her body.
WHAT THE HECK?!
Her fingers trembled slightly as she flipped the first page. She glanced up, expecting to see a smirk or some sign that he was joking, but no, CEO Arinze Chibuzor just leaned back in his chair, face as serious as a tax audit.
He gave her a small nod, silently telling her to keep reading.
Reluctantly, she did.
---
CONTRACT MARRIAGE AGREEMENT
Parties Involved:
CEO Arinze Chibuzor (The Husband) – hereinafter referred to as Party A
Insert name of woman chosen (The Wife) – hereinafter referred to as Party B
Effective Period:
The agreement shall last five (5) years, unless both parties mutually agree to an extension or one invokes the Emergency Exit Clause.
Terms and Conditions:
1. Public Display Clause
Party A and Party B must convincingly act as a deeply in love couple in all public appearances.
This includes, but is not limited to: holding hands, brief hugs, and tasteful acts of affection (Party A's interpretation).
Failure to comply results in a penalty, additional displays of affection mutually agreed upon by both parties.
2. Romantic Gesture Quota
Both parties must publicly compliment each other on social media at least three times per week.
Suggested topics include attire, physical appearance, and "unique personality traits."
---
Olaedo's eyes widened with each line.
By the time she reached clause number two, her brain had gone blank.
What in the name of board meetings and bad decisions is this man planning?!
Special Occasions:
Additional romantic gestures may be required during birthdays, holidays, and family gatherings.
---
3. Jealousy Limitations
Both parties agree not to express jealousy, real or pretended, toward any third party.
Should Party A or Party B exhibit signs of jealousy, it will be legally deemed an admittance of feelings and the contract will terminate immediately.
Olaedo blinked twice.
Wait… expressing fake jealousy counts as catching feelings? What kind of law school did he graduate from?
---
4. Family Involvement Requirement
Regular Visits: Both parties must attend all family gatherings and events, maintaining the appearance of a devoted couple.
Rotating Holidays: Parties will alternate hosting holiday dinners, each committing to at least one family meal per year where Party A prepares a dish (regardless of skill).
Her lips twitched. Party A cooking? So, the mighty Arinze Chibuzor can actually use a frying pan? I would pay to see that.
---
5. Secrecy Clause
The true nature of this marriage must remain confidential to the public, family, friends, and extended relatives.
Only one designated confidant per party is permitted to know the truth.
Olaedo exhaled slowly, Okay, that's… fair. Except for the part where I'm supposed to lie to my family for five years.
---
6. Gift Giving Clause
On major occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, public holidays, both parties must exchange thoughtful gifts.
Minimum gift value: ₦10,000.
If a gift is deemed an obvious act of sabotage, Party A reserves the right to demand a replacement.
Her jaw tightened. So, I can't even give him a "World's Worst Husband" mug?
---
7. "We Need to Talk" Protocol
All private contract related discussions must occur in "romantic" settings such as restaurants or cafes, in the presence of at least two witnesses (patrons or staff).
This ensures a believable alibi of love struck partners.
Olaedo's mouth fell open. Even contract fights come with scenery now?
---
8. Paparazzi Readiness Clause
Both parties agree to maintain camera ready appearances at all times.
Practice a minimum of three couple poses every weekend for impromptu photoshoots.
Dress as if always expecting paparazzi.
Maintain a consistent "love story" for interviews or public questions.
Her head dropped onto the table for a second. This isn't a marriage contract, it's a part time acting job with full time surveillance.
---
9. Pet Clause
Should either party own a pet, the other must participate in co parenting activities, including weekend pet outings and shared pet care.
Great, she thought blankly, I can't even dislike his dog in peace.
---
10. No Developing Feelings Clause
Both parties agree that under no circumstances will romantic feelings develop or be expressed.
This includes verbal or written confessions, lingering looks, or other signs of "emotional involvement."
Any such act shall be interpreted as a breach of contract.
Her eyes twitched. So I can't even blink too slowly now?
---
11. Emergency Exit Clause
Either party may terminate the contract in case of an "emergency," defined as:
Sudden debilitating allergies to any common romantic gesture.
Media exposure jeopardizing professional or personal standing.
Unexpected declarations of love (per Clause 10).