Days went by.
And Xiao Zhi noticed something she didn't like at all.
Ruhan wasn't around.
She wanted to tell him about her new ingenious plan. About the sleeping pills. About how they would save her from Kabil's assault. And she also wanted to ask him if he had been the one who gave her the pills in the first place.
Not that she had counted the minutes or anything, but usually… he was always "around." It was impossible not to notice him. Delivering tea with a quiet smile, slipping fresh garments onto her bed, or just somehow bumping into her in the garden like fate itself had scheduled him there. He had existed as a constant background in her life, a presence she had come to… rely on.
But now?
What, three? Four days? No sign of him.
It shouldn't bother her. She tried to tell herself that. It was just a few days. Nothing catastrophic. She wasn't, definitely not, missing him.
…Right?
Her heart thudded uncomfortably at the thought, and she rolled over, burying her face in the pillow.
"Stop it," she whispered to the fabric. "Stop thinking about him."
But the moment her eyelids closed, his face appeared. That infuriatingly composed smirk she remembered back in Hua, the gentle tilt of his head when he said her name, the way he always seemed aware without even trying, the way he always knew how to comfort her.
She rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. Blank. Well, not really blank, her brain refused to shut up.
Why does it bother her so much?
"Why… am I even missing him?"
"A eunuch!" she groaned, burying her face in the pillow. "Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Why am I feeling… longing? For a side character in a fictional novel?!"
She flailed her arms over her head. Then she accidentally touched her old bruise, the one Kabil left. She felt it. The leftover pain was real.
And if the pain was real… does that mean her feelings were also real? Was his presence also real?
She wouldn't admit it, but the thought brought a light of hope. Perhaps, even while barely enduring this cruel fate in a world she didn't know existed, she could find some comfort.
And instead of frustrating herself over whether or not things are real, she could just… enjoy it? Pretend this world is real. Pretend that everyone around her was real… including him.
Then her thoughts went a step further.
Oh, boy.
What if he notices she's been… noticing him?
She shivered. Not from cold, but from the sudden, very real thought that maybe, somehow, he would. And what then? Would he laugh? Roll his eyes? Pretend he didn't care?
Too many possibilities. Too many dangerous, heart-fluttering possibilities.
With a groan, she sat up and ran a hand over her face. "Okay. Breathe. It's fine. "
Maybe... just maybe, he was even thinking about her too.
She quickly shrugged that thought off.
She tried pacing, a modern habit that somehow carried over in the palace's silent corridors. Back and forth, back and forth. Sometimes pacing helped organize thoughts. Sometimes it just made her feel like a caged animal. Tonight, it did a little of both.
Her mind wandered stubbornly to the garden. Ruhan usually walked there at dusk, tracing the same paths she often took. Always… noticeable without meaning to be.
The idea of wandering there alone made her chest tighten.
Yet the next morning, she found herself doing exactly that.
Her steps somehow carried her past the garden. He's not there.
She strolled casually through the eunuch quarters as well. Not here either.
Before she knew it, she had accidentally approached the gate of the Khan's private quarters.
Her pace slowed. A warning bell rang in her head: If anyone sees you here, rumors will spread. Wild, scandalous, destroying rumors.
And if Kabil found out she was sniffing around his brother's bedroom, she would not see another day.
But curiosity, and a desperate need to find Ruhan, held her there.
As she stepped closer, two guards crossed their spears with a sharp, metallic clack that made her heart jump into her throat.
"Halt," one barked, his eyes cold and unmoving beneath the shadow of his helmet. "No one enters the Great Khan's wing without a direct summons. Not even a Princess Consort. Step back, or you will be removed."
Xiao Zhi felt her pulse pounding against her chest.
Then she remembered something.
She slid her hand into the hidden pocket of her sleeve. Her fingers brushed the cool, smooth surface of a stone. For a heartbeat, she hesitated.
She pulled out the jade token.
She wasn't entirely sure why she had carried it every single day since the Khan had given it to her as a wedding gift. Partly, she carried it because it was beautiful enough to pass as a simple accessory. But mostly, it was her editor's instinct, honed by surviving thousands of chapters of palace intrigue, whispering that in a story like this, you never knew when you would need a "get out of jail free" card.
And now, she felt, was the perfect time to play it.
She held the stone out, her fingers trembling only slightly. The change in the guards was instantaneous. They looked at the token, then at each other, and gave a stiff, synchronized nod. Without another word, they pulled back their spears and stepped aside, clearing the path to the gate.
It worked.
She tucked the stone back into her sleeve, her chin lifting instinctively as she crossed the threshold.
But before she could take another step into the interior, a voice cut through the silence.
"Princess Lian Zhi?"
Startled, she spun around. A familiar figure appeared from the shadows of the corridor, but it wasn't the man she was hoping to find.
"Ah... Arkan! I was just... uh... walking," she said, her voice hitching as she flapped her hands like a nervous bird.
Arkan raised an eyebrow, his expression settling into a look of faint amusement. "Walking? In the Khan's private wing?"
Her cheeks warmed instantly. "It's... a very large palace. I got lost. Totally lost."
"Here?" His chuckle was light, almost teasing. "How did you even manage to get past the guards?"
Xiao Zhi crossed her arms, trying to look stern despite her burning face. "I, uh... I just told them I was looking for Ruhan. They let me in."
At the mention of that name, Arkan's smile faltered. He hesitated, his gaze shifting away for a second. "Ruhan?"
"Yes. Err... have you seen him lately?" She tried to sound casual, but the question came out a bit too desperate.
Arkan rubbed the back of his neck, his posture turning uncharacteristically stiff. "Ah... he's not here."
She frowned. "He's not?"
"He… went back to his hometown," Arkan added quickly, "for a few days. Some family matter."
"Oh." She tried to sound neutral. "I see."
He tilted his head, gaze lingering. "You seem… disappointed."
"Why would I be?" she said too quickly. "He's just a servant." Her voice sounded hollow even to her own ears. As if pretending to build a wall she knew wasn't even there.
"Of course," Arkan said knowingly. "Just a servant."
Her frown deepened. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing at all, my lady." He bowed slightly, eyes sparkling with amusement. "But if you keep wandering here, people might start to think otherwise."
"I wasn't wandering! I told you, I was lost!"
Arkan laughed softly, a sound that made her bite the inside of her cheek. "Then I'll escort you out… before you get lost again."
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, but her curiosity made her glance back at the quiet courtyard. Still empty.
Yet somehow… it felt like someone was watching.
From behind the heavy drapes of the Khan's chamber, a pair of eyes followed her every move. Mask hiding everything but those sharp, unreadable eyes.
He exhaled slowly.
"Foolish woman," his voice barely above a whisper. "Why do you make it so hard to stay away from you?"