Basel, April 1941.
Heinrich has already left for work. Since I have to go grocery shopping, I'll take advantage of it to find some information. Suzanne is busy and that suits me; I'd rather not tell her what I discovered. I'll first try to learn more about those hidden newspapers.
The warm weather doesn't seem to be coming back anytime soon; it's still quite cool even though it's April. I stop by the grocery store, and from afar I already see the seller smiling at me.
-Hello miss.
-Hello sir.
I walk through the aisles, looking for a place with newspapers or any information that might be useful to me.
-Are you looking for newspapers?
-Hmm yes.
-They're right here, you'll also find last week's editions.
-Perfect, well I'll take two of them.
-With pleasure.
He gives me my change, I take the newspapers and put them directly into my bag.
-I suppose you've seen what's happening in Germany?
-Yes, I've heard about it, but actually, what do you know about it?
-I heard that they're being taken to camps in Poland, but I don't know what they do there.
I took the time to process this information, but I already suspected that something serious was happening.
-How did you hear about these camps? My wife found out while going to the bakery. She overheard an employee talking about it on the phone, but she didn't tell me anything else.
Without meaning to, I identified the employee as Heinrich. I desperately hope it isn't him, but if it were, which is very likely, I don't know how I would react.
-Thank you for the information, I'll probably come back tomorrow morning.
-With pleasure miss, see you tomorrow.
-See you tomorrow.
This information keeps spinning in my head I really don't want to know that Heinrich could do that.
As soon as I get home, I put my bag on the table, grab the newspapers, and head to the bedroom. I lay them down and start reading them. The first talks about the camps, just like the seller said, and the second shows images of the camps. They're quite blurry, but you can see German soldiers, rifles in hand.
Most of the newspapers only talk about the Germans; it's the main subject outside the building, since almost all the residents are Jewish. That's why the neighbors aren't aware of anything, and honestly, thank goodness. I didn't sleep last night those horrible photos come back to me every time I close my eyes.
2 weeks later.
-Hey my dear fiancée, what are you already doing awake at this hour?
-Oh hi, I'm fine, and you? I can't manage to fall asleep.
-I'm doing well, but it's been a while since you've slept. Are you sure everything is okay?
-Yes, yes, I just have trouble sleeping. I don't really know why either, but don't worry.
-Okay, but promise me you'll tell me if something's wrong. I have to go now, my darling.
-Okay, see you tonight.
-Oh by the way, I forgot to tell you I'll be coming home late. I'm going to have a drink with François.
-Oh okay, I'll already be in bed then.
-I love you. He says, kissing me.
-I love you too.
The door closes, and I sigh in exhaustion. He's right, it's been a while since I've slept. Thankfully, he's only noticed it for three days, because my insomnia has been going on for at least two weeks.
I don't know what to do anymore to find sleep. I've become addicted to buying all the newspapers; that's all I do with my days. And the news keeps getting worse and worse. It doesn't surprise me, but I wish for just one piece of good news maybe a hero who comes to save everyone, or my family coming to visit me.
I miss them so much. Even if I feel a bit better, I still struggle with the thought that I may never see them again, and it's killing me from the inside.
Heinrich really takes good care of me, but I feel like he's hiding something from me. It's been several evenings already that he goes out for a drink, and when I suggest that his boss come over here for a drink, he categorically refuses. But the worst part is that he seems offended by every question I ask and immediately becomes defensive.
That's what made me ask even more questions than before. I'm afraid that what he's hiding is truly horrible. I'm not proud of myself, but I've decided to spy on him tonight.
I need to know more about these secret evenings. Suzanne still knows nothing; I simply asked her if she could find out where he spends his evenings. I just told her that I had doubts about his fidelity, and out of compassion, she even gave me the bartender's name.
The afternoon goes by quite quickly. I start getting ready to be discreet. Suzanne, my savior, unfortunately didn't want to let me go alone, so I'm accompanied but it's fine, I'll manage. I just have to keep all my research secret.
-Ahh, I'm so excited to be incognito. It's just incredible to spy on people, isn't it?
She turns around and notices my dark circles and my pale face from exhaustion.
-Oh, I'm sorry. I imagine you don't like having doubts about Heinrich, but I'm absolutely sure he's just hiding to smoke. That's what Paul does, but even though I found out a month ago, he still hides. She says, laughing lightly.
-I hope so.
It's 8:32 p.m. Heinrich has already been out of work for an hour, so we should easily find him at the bar, already well settled.
We walk calmly down the street as if it were routine. Suzanne wears her hair in a bun and puts on a beanie to avoid being recognized. As for me, I asked Yvonne if she had something for me she lent me one of her long black coats and boots, which I rarely wear. I'm not saying we have the best disguise, but it's something.
We enter the bar, Gus' Drink. Since it's a mixed bar, it was fairly easy for us to get in and order alcohol. I rarely drink, but for the occasion, let's go.
-Look just to my right, Heinrich is there.
I discreetly turn my gaze. He is indeed there, but the person with him isn't François, his boss not at all. This man looks about the same age as him. He's smoking a pipe while Heinrich drinks his beer. Who is this guy?
-See, he's not cheating on you. Well, I don't know, but they don't look like more than two men talking.
-Yeah, you're right. I worried for nothing. But don't you find it strange that he lied to me about this guy being there?
-Yes, that's true, it is strange. But maybe he's ashamed of his friend.
-I swear, Suzanne, I can't take the lies anymore.
-I understand. Maybe you could ask him innocently, you know try playing the rejected fiancée?
-Yeah, you're right, I should do that. But first, let's have a drink we didn't come here for nothing.
Our glasses clink, and we drink one after another. It's already one in the morning when we decide to go home. The streets of Basel are very calm, and it's quite pleasant.
-Where were you? Heinrich says, as soon as I step through the door.
-Relax, I went out with Suzanne.
-And you come back at this hour? Imagine if something happened to you I didn't even know where you were.
-Well nothing happened to me, so calm down.
-Ruth, seriously, do you not care or what? And you reek of alcohol.
-Fuck, Heinrich, leave me alone. I just went out. I'm stuck here 24 hours a day I have the right to breathe a little, don't I? And besides, you go out too, so why wouldn't I have the right?
-Yes, but I warned you.
-You didn't tell me where, just that you were going out. So honestly, leave me alone, I'm tired.
For the first time in several days, I finally fell asleep. I don't know what Heinrich did; I heard him leave the apartment, but exhaustion took over, and I sank into my dreams. So I preferred not to ask myself any questions.