She was gone, truly gone. I wanted to follow her so badly. I already felt hollow without her. I had to think of something else, anything! I decided to go to my room to have a shower. I entered the clock tower and somebody hit me from the side. I already knew it was Heidi, who was pushing me to the wall with the help of Chelsea. I could have brought them down to the floor without touching them, just mentally paralysing them, but I did not have the will to do it. My mind was focusing on one thing and one thing only. Sam.
"What did you do to her? Do you know what kind of turmoil was going on inside her?" Chelsea asked me.
"I... Nothing. I don't have to give any explanations to you. Get off me or I'll have to paralyse you." I said. They took their hands off me and just as they were about to bombard me with questions I ran off to my room. I undressed and got in the bathtub. Her smell had rubbed off on me but as I bath it would eventually get weaker.
Stop thinking about her!
I got in the bath and let the water run. What was going in with me? Sure she had left but how was I letting a girl manipulate me like this even when she's not here? She was just a girl... I could find millions like her and turn them! Nothing special. I would keep sticking to that theory until I get it in my head. I nodded determinedly. If I need a mate I would just wait until I find a very pretty one and turn her. She would not be difficult like Sam. She would just be with me without causing me to change. I'm a three hundred year old vampire. My ways are to kill and to feed. Nothing more. Nothing less. I rinsed off the foam and got out of the bath. I dried myself and got put a a fresh shirt, and my usual attire. I would go back dressing the way I was used to dress before she came. I put on the V chain and searched around the room for my painting brushes. I could do something to relax. I could paint.
I picked up my brushes and set up my aisle. I looked around me for inspiration. My gaze fell on my desk. Lying amongst my sketchpads was a photo. I picked it up and something changed inside of me. Who was I trying to fool? Myself? I could not forget her, not when everything surrounding me reminded me of her. Even if I threw every single thing that reminded me of her in anyway, including this photo, I would have to tear away my soul because she had branded me forever. I loved her. I could lie to everyone and act like she had never stumbled in my life but not to myself. I dropped my painting brushes and rushed outside. I sprinted out of the place, earning wry glances from some lesser guards who were walking by. I sped towards the vegetation, not really noticing where I was going. Suddenly my legs came to an abrupt stop. I looked around me, trying to figure out where my subconscious had led me.
I realised this was the spot were I had found her almost two years ago, looking for answers about what she was. If she would asked me that right now, I'd tell her she was the only woman on earth capable of driving me insane with her love. I felt the corners of my mouth quirk up. She had been so stubborn. She had that cute little frown in her face she gets when she's thinking hard. And her adorable lips had a pout to them. It was windy that day, and I could remember how her hair floated around her face like a halo. I petted the ground softly with a smile on my lips and went to the next place. When I arrived I saw the familiar tree with the unnatural dent on it. This was the time when I had almost kissed her and she pushed me away as she thought I was feeling pity for her. I ran my hands across the rough tree trunk and sprang off to my next destination, one of my very favourites. It was the first time that I started teaching her how to fight. I was so mad at myself for not teaching her sooner. I remembered how cute she was when she was angry. Her lips would pout and her eyes narrow slightly. It was the fist time we kissed. Well, just kissed is really the understatement of the century. I had been so hungry for her, after a whole year secretly wanting her and sneaking glances at her. She was not so reluctant either. She had spent two whole ears always in discipline of her actions. For the first time in years she allowed herself to just have fun and go with it. Lastly I went to my meadow. As usual the place looked peaceful. Everything looked the same since the last time I had visited the place with Sam. The long river was still flowing, the tree stood tall and proud, the grass was green, now slightly tinted orange with the beautiful setting sun. The only difference was that I was alone, with a shattered soul and a horrible sense of loneliness consummating me. I heard a dull thump from a few meters away. My sense of smell told me it was a deer. I had not eaten in days and I was thirsty. I didn't want to go back to the tower, and not just because I seriously needed to be alone, but because I was too destroyed to be able to destroy another couple of lives. I sprang in a fierce run and in matter of seconds the deer was dead in my hands. Ignoring its hideous smell I dipped my teeth in its skin. I sucked it dry out of blood, ignoring its disgusting taste. I went back to the meadow and climbed up the tree and made myself comfortable. I watched as the sun set behind some hills, leaving the world in darkness and welcoming the moon and the stars to replace it.
I was sitting on the tree, like I had been doing for the past few months. My schedule mostly consisted of my usual Volturi guard member duties, and loitering around in my room and the meadow. Since Sam left I had given up on human blood. It held no value to me anymore. Nothing held any value in my life.
I heard steps approaching and a fluttering heartbeat. I wondered who it was. Jane and the new secretary walked towards me. I sighed as I was in no mood to discuss with Jane.
"Alec, I'm glad you're here. We've searched everywhere, haven't we Lena?" Jane said sweetly with a sick smile on her lips. The human girl nodded fervently and I noticed how she was wrapping the bathrobe around her. I groaned deeply. Jane had been bringing women in front of me, telling me to have them then 'turn' them. Of course I was not capable of turning a vampire as my self-control was not so perfect. It was just an excuse so that they would come willingly.
"Go away, Jane. I'm not in the mood." I told her.
"Oh, come on! You haven't touched a single drop of blood since she left six months ago. You have got to get back up on your feet. You can't keep mourning over her. She's just another ghost of your past. Get over her." with every word she said I felt my heart rip a little. Why does she have to keep reminding me that she's gone? She ordered the girl to walk away so that she could talk to me in private. She climbed up the tree and joined me. I heard her gasp as she took in my view.
"Alec, your eyes... They're... What have you been doing? You seriously dropped this low because she left?" I looked at her bewildered. "What about my eyes?" I asked.
"They're no longer like mine. They've turned... Golden. Heave you been drinking animal blood?" she asked horrified that I would do such a thing. I smiled as she told me. Perhaps if Sam would come along she would truly realise that I would have changed. I jumped off the tree and landed gently without a sound. I looked at my reflection in the water and saw that Jane was right about my eyes.
"Our masters will be horrified with you, Alec. We're supposed to be the highest ranking guards, set an example for the others, not scoop this low." Jane said after she joined me on the ground. I turned around to face her.
"Jane, I don't give a damn for what the others think. I do my duty and I don't cause any problems. What I do in my free time is non of their damned business."
"Well, it is MY business, brother! I CARE about you, unlike her. She left you but you know that I'll always be here for you. She's not worth your agony, Alec! She's not worth anything. If she didn't have that power of hers you two wouldn't have even been together! You-" I cut her off my slamming her in the tree's thick trunk.
"Don't you ever say that about her! Jane, you should know that you and her are the most important things in my world. If I had been a little bit less selfless I would have gone with her and I would have been the happiest man in the world. I'm living Hell right now because I chose to stay with you over her because I knew you couldn't take it if I let you. So please, Jane, please, show me enough respect and talk about her properly." I said and collapsed against the side of the tree. Jane sighed and sat next to me. She took my hand and started fidgeting.
"You know, I hate to admit it but she was pretty decent. Had she been a normal vampire and spared your heart I would have liked her. You know what she did the day that you had left doing whatever?" she asked me. I shook my head. "She came up in the feeding room, and demanded that I speak with her. When I asked her what she wanted she told me that I should not be so hard on you. And she actually looked determined, even when I threatened to burn her." her last sentence earned her a raised eyebrow from me. "she might have left but I'm sure she loved you. Not many would be willing to face me, whatever the reason." she said softly. Her eyes suddenly warm and kind. "Do you want to tell me what happened from the beginning? Who knows, a woman's point of view might help you." she told me. I wanted so much to let go of my depression, talk it out. And that's just what I did. I broke in unrepairable pieces at my sister's feet. She put my head to rest on her shoulder and while I told her everything, from the very beginning, she patted my back. I told her about our mother's necklace and surprisingly she wasn't mad at me for giving it to her. She listened and never judged. I told her about the cottage and that we made love and about Sam's vision about Aro. She understood at once. After I finished there were a few moments of silence. After a while, she said, "Alec, go find her." I shook my head. "I can't. I promised her I wouldn't. I won't break my promise to her. When she's ready she'll come back. If she doesn't or maybe finds someone else who loves her, if he treats her as well as she deserves I'll just have to accept it. There's nothing I can do."
"Well, you can't spend your eternity waiting Alec! It's been only six months and you're already acting insane!"
"It's the only thing I can do." I said exasperatedly.
"No! It's not! I know. Write her a letter, give her our mother's ring, and I can give them to her for you." Jane said excitedly.
"That's a great idea. But are you willing to do it?" I asked her. Hope glistened in my eyes like wildfire.
"I'd do anything for my brother." she told me simply. "And even if you are eager on continuing this whole animal blood campaign, even though I don't agree with you, I support you." she said matter-of-factly. I hugged her tightly. I knew she hadn't abandoned me!
"Thanks so much Jane! I love you, sis!" I told her as we got up and started heading back to the clock tower. The human had gone back by car so we were free to run.
"I know bro! I love me too!" she told me. I punched her arm playfully and she responded by pushing me. I was glad the sister I knew and loved was back! Perhaps if Sam came back they would be friends. If that really happened I would need to carry boulders all the time to keep myself from floating away with happiness.
Jane's POV
Alec was seriously worrying me lately. He told me all about his relationship with Sam. It made me seriously pity them both. She was confused and she could not understand what to believe. To her Alec could have been cleverly lying. On the other hand, Alec had no clue what he could do about the situation. I picked up the box he left me in front of my room and went off to hunt Dimitri down. As my sense of smell told me, Dimitri was in his room. After a few minutes I arrived in front of his room and knocked quietly. He opened the door and I could not help but smile at his confused expression.
"Er... Hi, Jane. What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I need some information about how I can track somebody." I told him, cutting instantly to the chase. He looked at me, startled, as if he had seen a ghost.
"Very well. Um... But why this sudden urge for tracking? You've never been interested before."
"As I told you, I need to find somebody." I said.
"And by somebody you mean a vampire? Somebody with brown hair, about this tall, and who smells of your bro?" he asked me with a wide grin and showing me her height with his hand.
"Yes." I answered. Alec and Sam have been the main gossip point for the past months. When they ask Alec he's just cuts them off. Not that they see him much as he's always in his room or in that meadow. Well, he still can't avoid them for eternity, sooner or later they're going to find out about him turning vegetarian and hell will explode in here. Next thing you know we'll see females in here wearing sundresses. I frowned at that thought. Without knowing, Alec was going to revolutionise the whole guard!
"Er... Hello? Are you still there?" I heard Dimitri say. I was snapped out of my trance.
"Yes, so will you help me?" I said the words through clenched teeth. I don't like asking for help. It makes me feel helpless.
"It won't hurt you to be polite once in a while, you know." Dimitri answered so I said a small "Please."
"Sure let's go."
"Wait. I'd thought you'd just give me advice. I don't want you to come with me."
"Well, Sam shoved me in the wall for no good reason before going. I want to see what's that about. It will be good gossip."
I sighed. Dimitri will be Dimitri. "Let's go.
After hours of running and Dimitri trying to figure out where we were, we found an area in Southern Finland were her smell was strongest. It was a forest. Typical Sam and Alec. They would always take refuge in forests.
The area we were in was covered in snow. Finally her scent was so strong even I could detect it. Among the thick blanket of whiteness I saw a red flashy material among the snow. I rubbed off the snow and fortunately there wasn't a lot as the trees had provided shelter for the bag. I opened and it looked normal though soggy, as it was not fit for this climate condition. The bag next to it survived well though. I slipped the velvety box inside it and looked around me. Sam was nowhere to be seen, though this place seriously smelled of her.
"So did you find her?" Dimitri asked me as he joined me. I shook my head.
"I searched the whole area. But the tracks end here. It seems as if she dissolved in this very spot." he said.
"I did find her bags here. But no sign of her. I guess this is where our search has too end. What do you think happened to her?"
"I don't have a clue. Perhaps some winged dude came and carried her up in the sky."
"Haha. Very funny." I said. Baffled and unsure what to do, we left. I just hoped, wherever she disappeared off to, she would just open the box. As much as I missed old Alec, if without her he wasn't content than I'd rather have her with him.