Sam's POV
"NESSIE, BONNIE, DAN! Get your butts over here." I shouted. A few seconds later three heads appeared at my doorway, one on top of the other. Nessie in particular had a face mask on half her face.
"What's with the shouting, Sam?" Dan asked from the middle.
"This!" I said and made a motion referring to the dress.
"What's wrong with it? It looks great on you!" Nessie complemented. "Sure! Just one flaw. It's way too short. Ness, you know I don't wear these types of clothes. You know my tastes."
"Yeah, I do. But I wouldn't let you go clubbing wearing skinny jeans and a shirt. I've bought that because Sam you look like an eighteen year old. You need to-"
"Actually I died a month before my seventeenth birthday." I interjected. "Exactly her point. You need to dress your age. Or at least the age you look." Bonnie said.
"You guys are a pain in the ass." I said in exasperation.
"Yes, but we're your pain in the ass." Danielle said. They all laughed, and I stole a little snicker which didn't go unnoticed by them.
"Oh, come on Sam. I'm sure Alec would agree with us too. I'm sure all the guys at the club would agree..." Nessie said. I raised an eyebrow at her.
"Ignoring the last sentence. Ness you really need to stop bringing Alec in the discussion whenever you want me to dress up. That's low." I said at her. She just stuck out her tongue playfully at me.
"Come with us, we still need to get dressed." Bonnie said as they were about to leave my room. I grabbed the silver five inch high heels and tagged along with them. Nessie went into the bathroom to remove the residues of her sickly green coloured face mask. When I asked her what was up with it she answered that she was half human and that she didn't want to be stuck with wrinkles for eternity. To me the idea was bogus. She had flawless vampire skin and good looks, but whatever floats her boat was fine. I helped Danielle curl her hair while she helped Bonnie into her magenta coloured dress. It was very pretty. It had a Grecian neckline, like those you see on Greek statues. And it had little square plastic sequins sewn on it of the same colour. She rocked the outfit with Prada black heels and a handbag by Chanel. The outfit really suited her. They didn't call her Red for nothing.
Then we helped Danielle into her outfit. It was a fitted halter neck royal blue dress that hung nicely to her body. On the neckline there were silver jewel like stones. I put a silver barrette in her hair and she wore her silver heels, which resembled mine but had a different pattern. Finally we all worked on Nessie. We blow dried her hair and Bonnie French braided the sides of her hair and pulled them together at the back of her head. She put on her turquoise dress which was strapless and simple but made her look curvy and womanly to a point I was sure her father would disapprove. She put on a long bronze necklace around her neck and her bronze coloured heels. They all chose some jewellery to wear from Ness's endless stock so when everybody was ready I put on my heels and looked at the mirror. My dress was dark purple, with violet roses of lace all over it. It was a halter neck, thanks to the thin silver rope the hung around my neck. The others joined me as I looked at my reflection. I had to say, we looked fabulous, like those women from Gossip Girl or something.
"Yeah, we look drop dead gorgeous! No pun intended." Danielle said, echoing my thoughts. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I smelt Alec behind it so I went to get it. But Nessie beat me to it.
"No special treatment. You have to wait with the rest of the guys. Here, this is your outfit. Go change in Sam's old room, next door to the right." she said barely opening the door and shoved the bag at him. She didn't even give him time to talk as she slammed the door in his face. Thankfully I heard him chuckle so I knew he wasn't offended.
"That wasn't very nice! Actually it was rude. I should go tell your parents." I scolded her. She stuck her tongue at me, again.
"Hey, guys. I need advice on something, but I can't say it out loud or show you because it's kind of personal." I said, finally making up my mind of asking advice about the whole Daren thing.
"Then type it down." Bonnie suggested. I nodded and sat at in front of Nessie's computer. I started typing away.
Me: So A & I were relaxing after... and we were... you know...
Ness: No need to type it hon, we understand ;D
Sam: Ok. So I got this vision. And well it was of Daren, watching us after we did you know what. And it was really happening. I think D and A are going to get pissed at each other. And I feel guilty. I think D really had feelings for me but I see him friendlily, even kinda motherly. I only love A.
Dan: Truth or reassurance?
Me: Truth.
Dan: U r screwed.
Me: :$ reassurance please.
Bonnie: I think you need to make it clear to D that you're out of bounds. Be extra flirty with A. Idk... Outright tell him if that doesn't work.
Ness: B is right. Do what she tells you and hope he's not stubborn. Btw, how did A take it? That was very stalker-ish of D.
Me: A was the best. He just told me that he wouldn't share me and kissed me.
Dan: Awwww! : )
Bonnie: I wish if I ever mate he'll be as great as A is with you.
Ness: You're lucky. Jake broke a guy's nose the last time he got jealous.
"Kids, limo's here." Esme said in a clear voice. I closed and cleared everything
"Come on guys, let's work it!" Nessie said. I frowned.
"Work what?" I asked her. She shook her head.
"You're such a nerd at times, Sam." she said. The others laughed while I tried to deny it. Obviously my efforts were a waste of time. I was a little bit nerdish and I knew it.
As we made our way down the stairs, the guys were waiting for us below. As they came into view my gaze instantly locked with Alec's. He was smiling at me, not even sparing one glance at the others. It made me feel so special. As soon as I made it downstairs I went to him and he instantly put his arms around me. I saw him glancing to his left side, and so I did too. Daren was watching us. He had a very dark expression on his face. After a few moments his gaze lingered on me and he locked our gazes. I noticed he was wearing clubbing clothes so he must be coming with us. Oh, joy. I mouthed; we need to talk, to him and looked back at Alec who was still giving him the daggers.
Finally, we all exited the house. There were nine of us who were going: me, Alec, Nessie, Jake, Danielle, Alex, Bonnie, Logan and Daren.
I tried to put my prejudice about clubs and the people there aside. Tonight I was going have fun. I was going to dance with my boyfriend and my friends. I would laugh and act goofy like a teenager. I would not be rational or mature. For who knows how many years I was serious, always the joy killer. Well tonight I wouldn't be.
As the others got in the limo which sped away once the door closed, Alec and I made our way slowly towards my car. Just as I was about to open the door to the driver's seat, Alec grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to him and kissed me softly. When we broke the kiss he checked me out from head to toe.
"God, Sam you look... breath taking." he said. I may have been wrong but I thought I saw him wet his lips. I checked him out to and suddenly got a very bad feeling.
"I don't need to be psychic to realise that I'm going to have a hard time fending the ladies off my man." I said to him. I wasn't bragging, but he looked like a hell of a model. He was wearing dressy black jeans and button up black shirt with very thin violet lines as a pattern, to match my dress.
"Look who's talking." he said to me. He kissed me once more, but eventually we had to stop as the others would be waiting for us. We got in the car and I set my GPS to the club Ness had told me about and we sped away.
After three hours of driving we finally arrived. Many eyes fell on us as we entered the parking lot. The limo was jut getting out of the parking lot after dropping off the others. We managed to catch up to them in no time thanks to my devil of a car. Many started whispering as I parked smoothly. Alec exited the car first and being the gentleman he always is he came to open my car door.
"Dude! Awesome ride!" some guy said as he came towards us.
"Sam, what's the social protocol in this situation?" Alec asked me in my ear.
"I don't know! I'm not exactly Miss Social Skills." I said truthfully. "Let's just say thanks and reach the others." I said.
"Thanks." Alec said, following my instructions. The guy held his hand out at us.
"What?" Alec asked him as he was stopping us from reaching the others.
"Um, I take care of the cars. A tip would be nice." the other said sarcastically. I should have known. Well, not really. Considering that where I came from we weren't allowed to drive before we reach eighteen and that I wasn't so well acquainted with clubs this was all new to me. Alec handed him fifty dollars and the guy just stared. We smoothly reached the others, holding hands together so that everybody knew we were not to be messed with. Guys were already surrounding Bonnie and Danielle and staying away from Nessie because of Jake. A flock of girls surrounded Logan, Alex and Daren. Logan and Alex both looked out of place but Daren was smooth-talking the girls, who were metaphorically melting at his feet. He looked in control and a quick check assured me that we wouldn't have any bloody episodes tonight. Well, at least I was relieved he wasn't creepily expecting me and Alec to show up. Oops, spoke too soon. He turned around a slight of a fraction and he caught me looking at him. He smirked at me, as if to prove some point that he wasn't all that into me. All I had to say was one thing, Oh thanks the Lord! I smiled normally at him and returned my attention to Alec who was trying to figure out what was going on in the club.
"So, does it really sound like fun?" I asked him with a smirk over the loud music.
"Three hundred years ago this would have been called an orgy of the heretics. I think you may be right." he said. I nodded knowingly. I knew Alec too well to even to even think that he'd like this place. "But hey, at least we both dressed up. I've never felt so normally human before." He stated. "I know." I answered as I stared around me. I got many and I mean many with a capital M venomous glares from the girls surrounding me because of Alec and the other half, the guys where starring at me, correction, my chest and my legs, with lustful stares. There was a couple of gays staring at Alec. One of the guys was giving Alec a very hateful glare as his boyfriend was literally drooling and licking his lips suggestively. "Well this is new... and slightly disturbing." I said and looked away from the couple which was freaking the crap out of me.
"What, love?" he asked me. "New, the fact that girls are actually looking hateful because I'm with a guy and a drop dead gorgeous one at that and even more surprisingly guys are actually looking at me, with other than pity in their eyes. Disturbing, because there's a guy there who I think is trying to undress you with his eyes." I said. The look he gave me was by far the most comical one I have ever seen in my life. Usually Alec and comical don't mix but, this time... He opened his mouth as if to say something but then quickly closed it again. "I try not to let the fact that during my times one would be burnt at stake if they found he's not straight cloud my opinion on the present but..." suddenly he lost all his poise and grace.
"What's the world coming to?" he asked himself with a hand over his face. As a lover of history it was fascinating to see the effect the liberalism of our society did to a three hundred year old vampire. And as the girlfriend of that three hundred year old vampire I fell totally in love with his cute confused expression. "Oh, don't worry, baby. I'll protect you if anyone tries to sexually harass you." I said and played with a button his shirt. He laughed with me too and then lifted up my chin with a finger and kissed me softly, well it started softly.
"Would you just get a room?" I heard Daren mutter. I was annoyed at him.
"Of course we'll get a room. We'll bolt he windows and doors too, just in case there's an unexpected audience." I said under my breath. Alec chuckled while Daren huffed. "You just served him, love." Alec said. Okay, I knew it was the only way of getting Daren off my case but to me it felt as if this was getting bitchy. I knew Alec enough to realise that he wouldn't give a whoop for Daren, in fact I was certain there was a great mutual dislike amongst them. And as much as it was cute seeing Alec get so jealous I didn't like it. It was starting to get to me.
I took Alec's hand in mine and went towards the others feeling an uncomfortable twisting and lurching in my stomach.
That's because you acted like a bitch, an annoying voice insinuated in my mind. No, I so wasn't acting like a bitch. He should be the one apologising, not me. Damn passive conscience! I've never been able to keep a grudge against anyone. This was the reason why I let anyone trod and bring me down when I was human. But I had to put a stop to that. Vampire or not I was a being with dignity.
"Hey guys." I said as we approached them. "So are you having fun?" Danielle asked us as she swayed to the rhythm of the music. I recognised the song as "Where them girls at" by Guetta. She and Bonnie next to her burst in giggles.
"From the looks of it I'd say you guys aren't the partying type." Danielle said. Nessie and Jake had already disappeared inside. Alex and Logan joined us, along with Daren. I stared at him right in the eyes. I did not need to be intimidated by him. Even if he probably did see me and Alec naked while we made love. God, even as I said that it sounded creepy.
"Come on, let's go inside." Alex said. I saw him glance hesitantly at Bonnie. A little vision told me he would ask her to dance! Aww so he did have a thing for her! We'd ask him and tease her about it back when we were under Gaius' command but they always denied it. I smelt a couple in the making.
We paid for the entrance and got in. Bonnie pulled Logan away from the group. When she caught me staring at her I raised my eyebrows suggestively. She grinned and pulled him deeper into the crowd. Danielle made sure to grab Alex before the advancing girls got to him and Daren charmed a blond, who looked like she was on the verge of hyperventilating.
Alec and I were left alone. "Okay, so I'm completely stumped. So should we go dancing or... well there really aren't any more options since we don't drink." Alec summed up.
"Yup, so I guess we pretty much have to dance." I said looking around me to study the dancing couples. I had never danced with a guy before, of course excluding the time Chelsea and Heidi had dressed me up as an 1800's lady and I danced slowly with Alec. But this, the moves of the teenagers in front of us mainly consisted of grinding against one another, touching in places that should be touched in only absolute privacy – hmm privacy… shut up brain, no need to think about Daren. Man it really ticked me off knowing that he had disrespected us like tha- again, shut up, brain.
Nessie and Jake made their way towards us. "Um- what are you guys doing here standing like statues?" she asked us. "We're not really comfortable with this type of dancing." Alec said and I nodded fervently.
"This is sad." Nessie said shaking her slowly. We both laughed. "Okay." she said and with one hand grabbed my hand and with the other grabbed Alec's and dragged us in the crowd. When she let go she grabbed Jacob's hand and put it on her hip. Then they started swaying. She put a hand up in the air and the other around Jake's neck.
"Imitate us." she said before she lost herself to the music and dancing with Jake.
I shrugged and put Alec's left hand on my hip and my left hand around his neck. We started swaying to the rhythm of the latest song by Dev and JLS. We quickly fell in step with the couples around us. Luckily the dance floor wasn't that busy so no humans came in contact with us. I was actually having fun, and from the looks if it, so was Alec! I loved the way we were completely in sync, the way we moved together, it looked as if we were communicating telepathically. He ran a hand along the side of my body, making me tingle with excitement. The song changed to Little Bad Girl. I couldn't help but feel a just a little bit cocky. Not that I was looking or acting like a slut in anyway but the fact that I was amongst teens, being a teen myself with the best, most charming, god of a guy I've ever met being MY guy who was looked lovingly at me as if I was the best thing that has ever happened to him. He made me feel beautiful and special in every way. Plus I was wearing the perfect dress.
I trailed my hand from around his neck to his torso and he put both his hands on my hips and slid them just a little further... but not far enough to make me look ho-ish. Our rhythm increased and so did the others around us.
"So are you a little bad girl?" Alec asked me. I smiled cocky at him. "Yes, but I'm your little bad girl." I whispered in his ear. He chuckled and put a finger under my chin and lifted up my face to his. We kissed and suddenly he pushed me to him. I broke the kiss and saw his hand grip tightly on the hand of a guy, right next to my ass. "If I were you I wouldn't do that, scum." Alec said menacingly to the guy.
"Chill, dude! There are plenty bitches to go around." the guy said, turning his disgusting look which he considered attractive from me to another girl's ass. I scowled, about to give him a piece of my mind and a very nice hand gesture starring my middle finger, but Alec interrupted me.
"No one talks to her like that. Apologise. Now." he said. I saw his grip tighten on the guy's hand. I was afraid he's snap the human's hand off.
"Alec's don-"
"I said apologise." Alec growled at him.
"Dude!" the guy grunted. I'm not kidding I saw his eyes get moist and he was on the verge of crying.
"We're waiting." Alec said to him in a very mocking voice. Okay it may be a little bit dark that I was enjoying this but I didn't care. He made a boy cry just because he tried to offend me. Isn't that cute?
"Okay sorry! I'm really sorry." the guy said. Alec released his hand and he cowered away like a dog with his tail between his legs.
"Thanks, though I was eager to give him a lesson myself, you know, nothing better than a girl chopping down a proud dude to the size of a peanut." I told him. He just smirked at me. We continued dancing, enjoying each other's company and a few kisses here and there. We were interrupted by no less then five girls whom I sent running away with just one of my icy looks. Suddenly I felt someone tap on my shoulder; I turned around and found Daren facing me. "So may I cut in?" he asked me. I was ready to say no. Then I looked at Alec, though he didn't look that happy he nodded. "Don't worry, love I'll be waiting for you." he said. "Okay, but just one dance." I said. "Oh, Sam." Alec said I turned around to ask him what he wanted but he just planted a kiss on my lips. He kissed me deeply and I responded with all I had.
"Before the century ends would be great." Daren said under his breath. We broke the kiss. "Don't be grumpy." I said to him. I kissed Alec swiftly one last time. "That ought to fix me for the next four minutes." I said. Alec smirked, obviously enjoying seeing Daren jealous. "Great, cause I wouldn't last longer than that." Alec said and just as he was about to peck me on the lips one last time Daren grabbed my hand and pushed me past the pumped up crowd.
I made him let go of my hand and we started dancing.
"You know I'm pissed at you, right?" I asked him.
"Why, love?" he asked me in a fake British accent.
"Why? What the hell's wrong with you? You spied on me and my mate while we..." okay I was so not going to say it out loud.
"I just didn't feel like downloading a porn movie when I had one going on right under my nose." Okay he asked for it. I was about to slap him hard.
"Just joking! I would have loved to see you in all your unveiled glory but with me, not with that guy." he said. I rolled my eyes at him. "So not going to happen! Just one question, then what the heck were you doing?" I asked him.
"I... I just didn't want you to get back together with him. I guess whatever I had to say to you is now meaningless." He put a lock of my hair behind my ear. I cringed away.
"We just can't have one normal moment, can we?" I asked him with exasperation, barely bothering to sway to the music anymore. The truth that I tried to evade had slowly bobbed to the surface. Daren was really falling for me...
"Daren, what you're feeling for me is just a crush, a little infatuation. When you find the right girl you'll know what I'm talking about!"
"No Sam! You don't know what you're talking about. Just like you've never really given a chance to what we could have." he said. His voice wasn't the normal cocky, carefree one I was used to. I was sorry that I was breaking his heart. I knew how many problems he had with trusting and this probably wasn't helping him. It hurt me to reject him but I was happy with Alec and it would only end up hurting the three of us if I try to console him and he turns it into something else. And I wasn't the type of girl to toy with guys. I just wanted one guy and that was Alec.
"I'm sorry but I couldn't when I met you and I can't now. I'm not sorry for loving Alec but I am sorry for rejecting you. You're a sweet, smart guy with so much potential. You've been through so much and it seriously hurts me to see you wasted. But though I'm not interested in anyway romantically you know that I'll always be there for you, no matter what. And I doubt you'll find a girl that deserves you easily but when you do I promise you she'll be extremely lucky. It's not easy, the path to love. I had to die, get used and get raped to be with my loved one but once you'll be with the person you love you'll forget the pain. It will all make sense. I promise you." I said to him. He smiled weakly at me. "Oh, come here." I said and gave him a hug. I know that in the situation we were in it should have been awkward, I couldn't help but feel motherly and protect over him. "I'm sorry Sam. And thanks." he said to me. I smiled kindly and kissed him friendlily on the cheek. "Go to him. It's really difficult for me to say so but you really mean a lot to him." he said. I felt like crying with joy. Alec came from behind me and put an arm around my waist. "Thank you." he said to Daren. I smiled with content. Looking at this scene in front of me I couldn't help but think about Jane and my relationship with her.
Daren and Alec had cleared the bad blood between them about me. But Jane and I had never settled the issue about Alec. I knew he tried to hide it but it was inevitable that he missed her. I wished that I could contact her. Tough it would take hard work and a lot of dedication and pain tolerance to make Jane one of us. I doubted if it was possible but with some help and her wish to be with her brother we could mould her into one of us. I would have to talk to Alec about it. But not today. We'd dealt with enough problems today.
"Sam?" I heard Alec ask. I zoned back in and Daren was waving goodbye to me as he joined the others. I waved back and turned to Alec.
"Hey, love" I said. "Sam, it's getting pretty loud around here. Think we could leave a little bit early?" he asked me. I nodded as I was feeling suffocated too. I went towards Danielle who was closest to us and told her we'd be leaving a little bit earlier. She nodded and after winking at me we left. We made our way towards my car, which was still being pestered by car lovers. Alec tried to get to the driver's seat before me but I beat him to it.
"I'm the big boss in here. I drive." I said with a smirk. He got in and I sped away.
"So I was pretty surprised with the way Daren reacted." Alec started.
"I know. Poor boy has been through so much already. His parents were criminals so wherever he went people submitted him to harsh prejudgement. Then his grandma died with cancer and he was constantly fighting pressure from gangs. He truly deserves to be as happy as we are now." I said.
"He showed me a very ugly side of his character. I haven't heard much about his past but judging from what I've heard it seemed like when he found someone like you, who actually cared for him and didn't judge him it made sense that he fell for you. It's already impossible not liking you once one meets you let alone being exposed to so much Sam-ness." Alec said, making me laugh a little at the end.
"Sam-ness? Seriously?" I asked him with a smile.
"Yep, it's pretty much contagious. I think I'm infected too, would you be willing to cure me, nurse?" he asked. I rolled my eyes. "You're never going to let that go, are you?" I asked him as I took a turn towards an old parking lot so that we'd be alone.
"Okay, I'll play along." I said. "Oh dear, you've been infected! Tell me where it hurts." I said in mock worry.
"Here." he said pointing to his lips. "Oh, dear! There's only one way to save you. I have to kiss you!" I declared.
"Oh, the horror! But do what you have to do, nurse. I'm dying here." he said. I laughed a little to myself. This was so silly. I went over to him and sat on his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist. I put my index finger on his chin and pushed it down so that I could reach his lips. I put my lips to his and we kissed. He nibbled at my lower lip and I parted my lips slightly, enough space for his tongue to rush in my mouth and slowly retreat, leaving enough time for mine to do some exploring of it's own in his mouth. His hands travelled from my back to my thighs. The caressed my tights until his right hand slid under my dress. My hands went from around his neck to his hair. I ran my hands through his soft hair while his mouth was dominating mine. In the position we were in I could feel perfectly how aroused he was for me. He grabbed on to the car door, but I snatched his hand back before he could make any damage to it. "Not the car baby." I whispered as he lead a trail of little butterfly kisses along my neck.
Suddenly I had a little vision. A hilarious vision actually. It was a policewoman making me and Alec do the alcohol test.
"Alec, the police are on their way here." I said. I guess this was probably a very common spot for teenagers to have R-rated fun.
He sighed. "We cannot catch a break!" he said. I sighed and sat back on the driver's seat. I pulled away from the parking lot and sped away like there's no tomorrow. "Don't worry. We have eternity ahead of us so I'm pretty sure we'll manage to catch a break somehow." I said to him.
"Well I guess as long as we're together I won't complain." he kicked back in his seat and put his arms behind his head. "So what's the, idea? You have that I've-just-got-an-idea-look on your face." he said. I smiled at how much he knew me.
"Alec, how would you feel if I told you we're going to Pennsylvania tomorrow?"
A little prologue to the story regarding Sam's past… It's important because Sam's past is going to be a fundamental key to the story…
So here it is:
This is the last clear memory I had before my world started getting tinted in black at the end. It seemed like after this episode, my memory was cut short. And so was my health. It all started when I was about six years old, on a typical Monday at my house. September, 10th, 2001, to be more precise.
There was a knock at our front door.
"Sam honey, go open the door please." my mother said.
"Okay mummy." I said and picked up my Barbie in one hand and scurried to the front door as fast as my little legs could carry me. I have always been a short girl, so I had to use the little plastic stool my mum would leave next to door for me to climb on.
"Who is it?" I asked, trying to reach the peep hole obviously to no avail.
"It's daddy, sweetheart, open up." I heard my dad's familiar husky voice say from behind the door. I opened it, jumped off the stool and removed it from behind the door. My dad entered looking all flustered. "Hey, Sam dear, how was school?" he asked me. "Fine." I said, not really caring to elaborate. My dad was not one to are much. He just asked so that he wouldn't get scolded by my mother for not paying attention to me and her.
He went in the kitchen and of course, he started complaining to my mother about the food. Blah, blah, I'm tired of eating all these preservatives... blah, blah, how could you burn pre-cooked food. It was always the same. After my dad stormed off to shower, promising to come watch the movie with us, though both my mom and I knew he would be chatting with his friends online. Through I was just a six years old, I was pretty smart for my age. So my mother and I embarked on an adventure with Shrek as he fell in love with Princess Fiona, how lucky for him.
Halfway through the film I started feeling quite lightheaded. My breathing started coming in low short pants. My mother was snoring soundly as I rested on her lap but with the sounds that I was making she woke up startled.
"Sam, what's going on?" she asked me as the sandman fought with her tries to stay awake.
I couldn't talk. I kept panting to a point were oxygen would no longer reach my lungs. I started to panic as I was slowly loosing consciousness. I wanted to ask my mum to help me, to do something to stop the blackness from reaching me but it was too late.
I woke up, my eyes feeling puffy. I felt slightly thirsty. I expected to wake up in my soft bed but I laid on a desk. I frowned and tried to get a clue where I was. A device that looked like a strangely shaped alarm clock had written 11-09-01, 08:45 on it. I though hard and remembered that the last date I had written on my math homework was of the day before. But still this looked nothing like my school. I got off the desk and many people passed by me, dressed smartly in suits just like dad's. I tried to stop someone, to ask them where I was and where my mommy was. I stopped my quest for one moment as I looked outside from a huge window. The view was mesmerising. I stared deeply and lost myself in the busy world below me. The people looked like ants and the cars looked like giant bugs. I laughed at them. Suddenly something very big entered my vision. I didn't recognise it, but I knew it was awfully near and headed straight towards us. I started to get frightened and backed away. I knew it was too close to stop now so I screamed a high pitched scream but nobody seemed to notice me or even hear it. Suddenly the glass burst as the thing, I now recognised as an aeroplane crashed in the building. People screamed, and so did I as I tried to run for dear life but I stumbled. Suddenly everything became so slow, as if it was a film on slow motion. The colours started fading until there was nothing but whiteness again. I blinked and suddenly I wasn't in the huge white canopy anymore but in my mother's arms as I kicked and screamed. I could breath once more but now hot tears were running down my cheeks and I still had to catch my breath. It felt as if I was rising from the water after being dunked for a very long time.
"Sam! Sam I want you to tell me want happened. Honey please don't do that! Sam! Peter get down here this instant. Something's wrong with Sam!" she shouted. I stopped kicking and held on to her as if she was my only salvation.
"Mama I had a very bad dream. I was in a tall tower and a plane crashed in! It was so scary mum! I thought I was really there!" I explained to her in stutters. She held me tightly. "It's okay dear." she said and reassured me.
The next day I was going to school as normal. My mum wanted to have me checked because of the hyperventilation but my dad disagreed.
"Come on Sam. I'm going to be late for work! It's already nine o'clock!" she said as I picked the crayons which were spread on the table.
"Breaking News!" a reporter said on television. For one moment even my mom was silent as the report explained the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers. My mom looked at me as terror washed through her. "I refuse to let my daughter become a freak!" she shouted. Back then I was innocent enough to miss the obvious reason why she was so scared. She put me in my booster seat and drove like a maniac. I could see the freaked out expression she had on her face through the rear view mirror. I was innocent enough to ask. "What's wrong mummy?" but that question was never answered.
She parked in front of the St. James Clinic and demanded to see the psychiatrist immediately. I did not know what a psychiatrist was back then so I just frowned, unsure of what was happening around me. The receptionist told her that she had to make an appointment, but the minute my mother pulled out some notes out of her purse the receptionist said that the doctor would be right with us. After half an hour of impatient tapping by my mother and unanswered questions asked by me, the door finally opened. I was put on a leather couch that kept sticking to my thighs, in the sticky weather that September brought. My mother spoke to the doctor and the nurse in a hush voice. I was able to catch only a phrase or two. "Money's not a problem... I don't care what you do as long as she doesn't remember... as long as she NEVER remembers!" she said. The next thing I know the doctor gave me some water, but I knew there was something added to it.
Sweet numbness crawled on me and I drifted off to a restful, dreamless sleep.