A special thank you to my patrons:
—Shahzaam, Jacob Mooe, kevin Williams, Jose Sierra, Pasang Sherpa, Acedia, kurtis newman, Nhoxious, sediaz, Targaryen, King Scales.
You can read 30 chapters ahead of everyone on p@treon.
P@TREON - [email protected]/lessaservantofcosmos
(just replace the "@" with "a")
ps: Please support me on P@treon. I can really use your help!
-------------------------------------------------------------
'This? This?! No... wait. This is...' Kakashi was, without a doubt, an exceptionally intelligent individual. His limited chakra reserves dictated that he often couldn't afford prolonged battles. Thus, he needed to use his superior intellect to identify openings and strike with a single, decisive killing blow.
Because of this, Kakashi was capable of sharply perceiving every single detail within a battle.
This ability could be called "intelligence."
But now... this very ability was working against him. Kakashi saw at a single glance that the injuries he had sustained were the kind inflicted by a Rasengan.
But the moment he recognized this, what followed was deep, overwhelming confusion.
Why had he been struck by a Rasengan? He clearly hadn't been attacked by anyone!
And besides, the only person here who knew the Rasengan was Naruto. No matter how one looked at it, a Rasengan shouldn't have been aimed at Kakashi.
'No... wait. The moment he had been injured seemed to coincide exactly with when that Hidan had been hit by the Rasengan. But what did that mean? What was going on?'
In this moment, Kakashi's usual "intelligence" instead brought him thick, suffocating "confusion."
Hidan's ability was impossible to figure out from just a single glance, no matter how hard one racked one's brain. Because Hidan's ability was simply far too contrary to common sense.
An immortal body, plus damage-sharing once he tastes blood.
This kind of bizarre, freakish ability—let alone Kakashi—even if one resurrected Madara, who had fought his entire life, it was absolutely impossible that he could figure it out by just a single glance.
Throughout the entire history of the shinobi world, where had anyone ever seen such an eerie combination of abilities?
In the original story, even Shikamaru had only been able to vaguely figure out Hidan's ability at the cost of Asuma's life. Here, how could Kakashi possibly figure it out just by thinking hard?
Thus, unable to make sense of it, Kakashi fell into a state of immense confusion.
'What's going on?! Some kind of time-delayed ninjutsu? No... that guy never showed any signs of using ninjutsu at all. So how did I get injured?'
"Th-this... Kakashi-sensei!"
Not just Kakashi—everyone present, aside from Kakuzu and Hidan, had fallen into a state of utter bewilderment. Naruto was the first to cry out. With a face full of panic, he rushed toward Kakashi, who was lying against the stone wall.
"Stay back! Naruto! Guard against that Hidan! This is no time for healing! The enemy before us is a true enemy! This isn't like our usual training exercises!"
Seeing Naruto running toward him, Kakashi shouted back loudly.
Naruto opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but in the end, he stopped in his tracks and turned around, facing Hidan.
"Little girl... you go."
Chiyo looked at Sakura beside her and spoke.
A flicker of longing flashed through Sakura's eyes, but she suppressed it.
"No... how could I abandon you? Kakashi-sensei also said—right now, we're in battle! Defeating the enemy takes absolute priority!"
Chiyo opened her wrinkled mouth and laughed heartily. "Bwahahaha... little girl, don't underestimate me. Dealing with this old fossil before me... I still won't have much trouble. Go on. Your teacher has been very seriously injured, hasn't he? Go. The feeling of losing someone important is never a good one. I can attest to that."
Sakura looked at Chiyo with hesitation.
"Granny..."
Chiyo straightened her face and spoke sternly.
"Go! This isn't a discussion—it's an order from a senior! In this battle, I am stronger than you and far more experienced. As a shinobi, you should obey my orders!"
"I... I understand!" Sakura answered, then turned around and ran toward Kakashi. She was a medical ninja!
Up ahead, Kakuzu sneered. "As expected of you. Casting off the dead weight... truly a wise move."
In Kakuzu's view, Sakura was nothing but dead weight at Chiyo's side. He figured Chiyo was just finding an opportunity to get rid of her.
Chiyo mocked. "Dead weight? You... just got punched pretty hard by that child earlier."
During the earlier battle, Kakuzu had been punched once by Sakura. Though Kakuzu had deflected most of the force and hadn't suffered serious injury.
"Punched once? No... that was only because you created the opening, wasn't it? What did that dead weight have to do with it? If you here swears not to interfere... I can slaughter that little girl within three seconds! Want to test it?" Kakuzu replied without the slightest concern.
"Bwahahaha... fine! I swear to you, I won't interfere!" Chiyo responded with a laugh.
Kakuzu curled his lip, his eyes revealing thick, unconcealed distrust.
"Hmph. Forget it, then. I'd forgotten... a fossil like you, who's lived through two Great Ninja Wars... how could you ever honor a promise in battle? The most basic principle of 'all's fair in war'—you should still know it. Let me think... if I really did make a move, you would definitely seize the chance to strike me from behind, wouldn't you?"
"Bwahahaha! You really do know your stuff, don't you!"
"I'm someone roughly your age, after all. Facing the same kind of fossil... I know full well how filthy your heart truly is."
Chiyo and Kakuzu continued mocking each other, but neither made a move.
It wasn't that they were throwing the fight. It was because both understood that between the two of them... it would be very, very difficult to determine a victor.
Both were ancient relics who had lived far too long. Their combat experience was simply too vast. Killing the other wasn't impossible—it was just extremely difficult. Without fighting for half a day, it probably couldn't be done.
At a time like this, what was needed to kill the other quickly? It was very simple. A third force needed to join the battle!
Kakuzu was waiting—waiting for Hidan to finish off Kakashi, then conveniently dispose of Naruto and Sakura as well, and then become the third force in his battle against Chiyo, helping him finish her off!
Chiyo was different. As Kakuzu had said, someone who had lived through two Great Ninja Wars couldn't possibly fail to see the cruelty and treachery of this world.
In the original story, because her opponent was Sasori, Chiyo had been willing to fight with everything she had. But here... Sasori wasn't present. The reason for Chiyo to fight to the death simply didn't exist.
Chiyo was waiting. The moment the Leaf shinobi were defeated, she would immediately take them and retreat.
As for the Kazekage? Sorry... if he couldn't be saved, then so be it. If the Fifth Kazekage was gone... there would still be a Sixth Kazekage.
Of course, conversely, if the Leaf shinobi did not fall... then Chiyo would still fight Kakuzu and rescue Gaara.
In summary: if they could be saved, save them. But if it required staking multiple life... forget it.
Unless Sasori were here, Chiyo would never risk her life in this place.
"Could you tell me a bit about your companion's ability?" Chiyo asked with a mocking smile.
Kakuzu gave a cold snort. "I could. Once you're on your very last breath... I'll have that guy tell you his ability himself."
"How ruthless. How about the reverse? Once you're on your last breath... have your companion tell me his ability as the price for sparing your life?"
"Try it, if you can."
"Hmph!"
Kakuzu and Chiyo continued their mutual mockery. Meanwhile, Hidan was approaching his ritual circle step by step.
His abdomen was hideously twisted. His right chest was completely pierced through. The corners of his mouth were covered in blood. At this moment, Hidan truly resembled a vengeful demon, step by step, coming to claim a life.
"BWAHAHAHAHA! You brat! You yellow-haired brat! You hit well, sure! But what kind of move is this?! It hurts like hell! I'M GONNA SLAUGHTER YOU!!! You want to be offered to Lord Jashin too, right?! Right?! RIGHT?! You damn brat!"
Naruto's pupils involuntarily constricted. "What kind of monster... is this..."
Naruto wasn't frightened by Hidan's words. He was frightened by Hidan's appearance.
Hidan's upper body was now so damaged and destroyed that it barely resembled a human form anymore. If it were anyone else... forget moving, they'd have died long ago.
Yet this man before him—despite having suffered such grievous injuries, despite constantly crying out in pain—moved as if nothing was wrong at all. There was absolutely no sense that he was "injured."
Sakura had already reached Kakashi's side. Green chakra appeared in her hands as she began treating his wounds.
"Kakashi-sensei... wh-what kind of monster is this? After taking injuries like that... how can he still move? No... his heart has been completely pierced. According to everything I've learned... this is already beyond any possible treatment. He should be dead! But..."
Kakashi gave a bitter smile. "Sakura... I don't know either. Are all the members of the Akatsuki monsters like this? Losing his heart and still moving around like a normal person... this is far too unreasonable. And even now... I still can't figure out how I got injured. Next... that immortal monster should be about to attack Naruto. I should think about how I can give Naruto some support."
Kakashi spoke these words with a face full of helplessness. But before Sakura could even reply, Kakashi suddenly narrowed his eyes.
"No... wait. That immortal monster... he's not walking toward Naruto. What's in that direction? There's nothing in the direction he's heading. What is he going there to do... no—that's... that's the pattern he just drew? He's going to find that pattern? But what's the point? A pattern..."
Kakashi seemed to have caught a flicker of inspiration, yet seemed not to have caught it at all. He lowered his head and racked his brain furiously.
"Hidan! Can't you hurry it up?!"
From the distance, Kakuzu spoke impatiently.
Kakuzu knew full well—despite how badly injured Hidan looked, for someone with Hidan's immortal body, as long as his legs weren't severed, he could still move. But right now... Hidan was "walking," not "running." This was starting to grate on Kakuzu's nerves.
"Shut the hell up! Do you have any idea how much this hurts?! Why don't you try it yourself?! Bastard!"
Hidan spoke irritably. Although theoretically he could run—even use the Body Flicker Technique—one had to remember: Hidan was immune to death, but not to pain. With injuries like this, moving at high speed would only cause excruciating, unbearable agony.
To avoid enduring that kind of pain, Hidan naturally didn't want to run. If he could walk, he would walk.
In any case, from Hidan's perspective, Kakashi was already a dead man. A little faster or a little slower made no difference.
'Pattern... pattern... pattern... The moment I got injured and the moment Hidan got injured were the same... At that time, he seemed to be standing inside that pattern... So, this is...'
Kakashi thought ceaselessly, trying to hypothesize various possibilities.
Meanwhile, Hidan was advancing step by step toward his ritual circle.
Naruto watched Hidan warily, not daring to make a reckless move.
This was only natural. His Rasengan just now had not only injured Hidan but also injured Kakashi. Faced with such a bizarre situation, before figuring out what was going on, how could Naruto dare to act?
Tap. Tap. Tap.
The entire stone cavern suddenly fell silent. Only the sound of Hidan's footsteps echoed—like the Grim Reaper tolling the final death knell.
'So... so... after taking such heavy injuries... he still insists on getting to that pattern. This means... that pattern is extremely important. I need to have Naruto stop him. No... wait. If Naruto engages him... will the same thing that happened to me happen to Naruto? No... no, I absolutely cannot let my student face that kind of situation.'
Kakashi furrowed his brow, trapped in agonizing indecision.
And it was precisely this indecision... that truly sealed Kakashi's fate.
Tap!
Hidan stepped into his ritual circle!
He raised the short spear in his hand and aimed it at his own neck. A sickly, twisted smile spread across Hidan's face.
"Ha... hahahahaha! Copy Ninja... Kakashi! What a shame you destroyed my heart—I can't repair it right away. Otherwise... I really would have liked to make you feel the pain of having your heart pulverized! But no matter... having my throat pierced should hurt quite a bit too, right? Mm... I've had it done to me by that bastard Kakuzu before. From what I remember, it was pretty painful. Though probably not as painful as having my heart destroyed. Well, forget it... as long as it hurts enough, that's all that matters!"
As mentioned before, when Hidan had first partnered with Kakuzu, because of Hidan's reckless, headstrong nature—constantly provoking Kakuzu—Hidan had been "killed" by Kakuzu in many different ways. But none of them had actually managed to kill him.
"Alright then... farewell, Copy Ninja Kakashi!"
The short spear plunged viciously toward his own throat.
'No... this is... stabbing himself... and that pattern... he has to stand inside that pattern to stab himself... I see... I see... I understand now!'
In the very last second, Kakashi finally managed to grasp a faint thread of understanding. But...
What a pity... it's already too late. Am I going to die here?
"Did I come too late?"
It was at that very moment that a flash of black light appeared. A single kick slammed into Hidan, directly blasting him out of the ritual circle and sending him hurtling into the stone wall on the opposite side.
An invisible pattern manifested on Kakashi's body. Kakashi was likewise slammed into the stone wall once more. Though it was brutal... it was clearly far, far better than death.
Kagaya dusted off his hands.
"Although I'd like to say that... it seems I didn't come too late after all. As expected... how should I put it? The Flying Thunder God really does have more flair when paired with that man's signature line, doesn't it?"
Beside him, Jiraiya pointed at Kagaya, his teeth chattering uncontrollably. "Y-you... that was... th-the Flying Thunder God?"
Kagaya smiled. "If it weren't for the Flying Thunder God... did you really think I'd be willing to come with you? Riding along on that Anbu's flying bird of yours... wouldn't that be slow as hell? The sheer boredom of the journey alone would have been enough for me to refuse your request, you know? It's precisely because I could rush over quickly with the Flying Thunder God that I agreed so readily. After all... spending a little time and effort... it's no big deal."
Having said this, Kagaya swept his gaze around the cavern.
"Mm. Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, Chiyo. Oh my... this lineup facing off against Hidan and Kakuzu really is quite strenuous. After all... you completely lack information on them."
In the original story, this group had faced Sasori and Deidara. Setting Deidara aside for the moment, Chiyo had known Sasori extremely well.
As for Deidara... Kakashi had dealt with him by forcibly activating his Mangekyo.
But in this timeline, facing Hidan and Kakuzu... it truly was a case of being completely in the dark, with absolutely no intelligence whatsoever. The worst part was... without any intel, they had run into someone as bizarre and freakish as Hidan.
Even Kagaya, without any intel, had a sliver of a chance of being caught off guard by Hidan. Let alone Kakashi and the others.
Their defeat was practically guaranteed.
Kagaya smiled a smile brimming with ill intent.
"But... I won't be helping you lot, you know. That little assist just now... came with a price."
******
T/N: Oh god... another side of him that annoyed me so much... help them or don't.
Sorry for the rant, I will try to keep this to myself in the future.