After the... unconventional introduction, the trio found themselves walking through one of the Sanctuary's bustling, garden-like sectors. The girl, who had introduced herself as Kai of the Azure Panther lineage, buzzed with energy, her ocean-blue hair swishing as she darted between Jade and Zero, asking a thousand questions a minute.
"So you really shattered a whole floor? And two vampire ladies are fighting over you? And you have cold, dark fire? And you—"
"Yes," Jade interrupted, his voice the flat, weary tone of a man whose personal space had been permanently violated.
"It's just so interesting! I've been climbing for a while, but I've never met anyone like you two!" she chirped, completely immune to his icy demeanor.
Zero, for his part, observed her with the analytical curiosity of a scientist studying a hyperactive new element. "Her energy output is unsustainable by normal biological standards. Fascinating."
The conversation drifted, a strange mix of Kai's boundless enthusiasm and Jade's one-word answers. Then, Kai turned to Jade, her head tilted, a look of pure, innocent curiosity on her blushing face.
"So, Jade," she began, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Are you a virgin?"
The air froze. Jade stopped walking so abruptly he nearly tripped. Zero, who had been taking a sip of water from a canteen, choked, sputtering liquid onto the pristine pathway.
Jade's brain, capable of calculating the unraveling of reality, completely short-circuited. His mouth opened, but no sound came out. His pale skin flushed a bright, unmistakable red.
"W-What?" he finally stammered, a sound so utterly undignified it was alien to him.
Kai blinked her big sapphire eyes, her blush deepening. "Oh! It's just... my lineage. We, um... we get... turned on... very easily. And we need... supplements... for our energy. And we prefer to do it with people we like..." She fiddled with the hem of her dress, looking up at him through her eyelashes. "And I... I really like you."
Before the two stunned men could reboot their brains, she stepped forward and gently clutched the fabric of Jade's shirt. "So... I don't mind," she whispered, her face now a spectacular shade of crimson. "If it's with you, I don't mind at all."
Jade looked like he'd been struck by a divine lightning bolt personally crafted to annihilate his composure. Zero had recovered enough to simply stare, his expression a masterpiece of stunned disbelief.
Finally, Zero found his voice, his tone dangerously dry. "Listen, Kai. I'm going to need you to not be so touchy with Jade, or else—"
"Or else what?"
A new voice, cold enough to flash-freeze the very air around them, cut through the garden. The temperature plummeted. Shadows lengthened.
They turned.
Seraphina stood there, her silver hair flowing, her crimson eyes burning with a frosty fire that promised infinite suffering. Her gaze was fixed on Kai's hand, which was still clutching Jade's shirt.
Jade felt his soul leave his body. Of all the timing...
Kai, sensing a predator of an entirely different caliber, yelped and hid behind Jade, peeking out at Seraphina. "O-oh! You're the vampire lady! You're even prettier in person!"
Seraphina's icy smile could have shattered diamonds. "Is that so, my dear?" Her eyes slid to Jade, who looked like a man walking to his own execution. "And what, precisely, is my Darling promising you that requires such... hands-on negotiation?"
Jade, for the first time in his life, wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole.
Zero let out a long, slow sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "And I thought the last vampire was a problem."
The silence that followed Seraphina's question was so heavy you could hear a pin drop in another dimension.
Jade stood frozen, a statue of pure panic. Kai, still hiding behind him, whispered loudly, "Is she your mom? She's kinda scary."
"I AM NOT HIS MOTHER," Seraphina's voice dropped to a deadly whisper, her eyes narrowing into crimson slits.
Zero, seeing the impending meltdown, decided the most logical course of action was to take a small step back, cross his arms, and observe. "Fascinating. A social interaction with a 100% probability of catastrophic failure. This is new data."
Jade finally found his voice, which came out as a strained squeak. "Seraphina. This isn't what it looks like."
"Oh?" she purred, taking a graceful, terrifying step forward. "So you were not just discussing the... supplemental needs... of this... creature... while she clung to you like a needy vine?"
"It was a theoretical question!" Jade insisted desperately.
"About his virginity!" Kai added helpfully from behind his back, then immediately realized her mistake and ducked fully out of sight.
Seraphina's smile widened. It was the most terrifying sight Jade had ever witnessed. "His... virginity." She looked at Jade as if she were memorizing every detail of his humiliation for all eternity. "A topic of public discussion now, my Darling? How... progressive of you."
"I didn't bring it up!" Jade cried, his hands flying up in surrender.
"It's because of my Panther lineage!" Kai piped up again, deciding the best defense was a full, biological confession. "We get very... energetic! And we need to—"
"I am QUITE aware of what your kind needs," Seraphina interrupted, her voice slicing through the air. She turned her gaze back to Jade. "It seems I was too late with my offer. You are already seeking out... alternative suppliers."
Jade looked like he was about to spontaneously combust. "I AM NOT A SUPPLIER!"
From the sidelines, Zero nodded thoughtfully. "Technically, based on her stated requirements, you would be the consumer in this transaction."
"ZERO! NOT HELPING!"
Kai, peeking out again, looked at Seraphina with wide, earnest eyes. "We could share? I don't mind! He has such pretty hair!"
The sheer, unadulterated horror on Jade's face was a work of art. Seraphina looked from Kai's blindingly innocent offer to Jade's utter despair, and for a single, fleeting second, a flicker of genuine, amused disbelief crossed her features before the glacial mask slammed back down.
She closed the final distance between them, her cool finger tilting Jade's chin up, forcing him to meet her burning gaze.
"It appears, my Vessel," she whispered, her breath cold against his cheek, "that your schedule has just become fully booked. You are coming with me. We need to have a very, very long talk about your choice of... company."
As Seraphina began to lead a utterly defeated Jade away, Kai waved cheerfully. "Bye, Jade! Think about my offer!"
Zero, falling into step beside the captured Jade, muttered just loud enough for him to hear, "Next time, just fight the Titan."