The night was quiet. Too quiet.The moon hung high above the cobblestone streets of London, shining like a spotlight on destiny itself.
And there he stood.A man whose very presence made oxygen hesitate to circulate. His blond hair gleamed like righteous sin, his smirk sharp enough to cut confidence. His name... a name that would echo through memes, eternity, and powerpoints alike—
"DIO!"
A random passerby gasped. "Impossible! But you were supposed to be dead for the third time!"
DIO turned his head slightly, his cape fluttering as if it too feared to stay still."Dead?" He chuckled, eyes glowing with divine arrogance. "Do you think something as trivial as death could stop DIO?"
The man opened his mouth, but before words could form—
"ZA WARUDO!"
Time stopped.Birds froze mid-flight. Leaves hung suspended in the air like punctuation marks of despair.Only DIO moved, his every motion accompanied by the faint hum of pure narcissism.
He approached the terrified man slowly. "You see, when time stops, I have infinite opportunities... to be fabulous."He adjusted his collar. Twice.He flexed—at himself.He poured a glass of wine from thin air.He took a sip.He despised the flavor.He crushed the glass with disdain.
Then, time resumed.
The passerby blinked. The wine glass shards rained down like expensive confetti."What… what was the point of that?"
DIO smiled. "The point... was DIO."
Lightning cracked behind him for no apparent reason.
Suddenly, a voice cried from the distance:"DIOOOOOOOO!!!"
He turned. It was a Joestar descendant — who, exactly, no one knew anymore. There were too many. Probably one with abs and moral conviction.
"You fiend! How dare you manipulate time itself!"
DIO tilted his head, utterly amused. "I don't manipulate time… I own it."He raised a hand dramatically. "In fact, this very chapter exists only because I allowed it."
The Joestar charged forward, muscles screaming, aura blazing with righteousness and plot armor.But DIO merely sighed. "Pathetic. You charge at me… yet fail to realize…"
He extended a finger, pointing at the heavens.
"It was me! DIO! who delayed the author's main novel!"
The world trembled. The reader gasped. Somewhere, a writer dropped his pen.
DIO laughed maniacally as the narration itself began to crumble under the weight of his ego."YES! By my will alone, stories halt, deadlines perish, and memes are immortalized! The world belongs… to DIOOOOO!"
He struck a pose so powerful that physics took a knee.
Translator's Note:At this point, DIO's influence over the narrative was absolute.Grammar bent. Logic fled. The author, somewhere in the void, whispered:"Maybe taking a break wasn't such a bad idea after all."