**Chapter 5 — A Maid, A Pervert Duke, and A Shady Mission**
It's been one day since Natsu, Happy, and Lucy returned with a half-conscious, drooling Macao over their shoulders. Yeah… even Kakashi couldn't stop laughing while reporting what happened.
("They kicked a Vulcan out of his body by headbutting it," he said proudly. *Headbutting.*)
Fairy Tail everyone — logic died long ago.
I'm at my usual corner table, sipping juice and trying my best not to stare too obviously at Mira behind the counter. *I swear this spot was divinely blessed.*
She looks busy, but she still looks like the prettiest thing in this building — no, in Magnolia — no, in **Earthland**.
Master is snoring on top of a barrel… again.
When suddenly—
"Has anyone seen Natsu, Happy, or Lucy today?" Mira asks, tapping her cheek cutely.
I raise my hand with the slowest, most tired motion ever.
"I can take a wild guess," I mutter.
"Oh? What did they do now?" Mira asks, already bracing herself.
"Pretty sure Natsu and Happy tricked Lucy into taking a mission where she'd have to dress up…" I pause, watching the slow horror crawl onto Mira's face.
"…a-as a maid."
*thud*
Mira smacks her forehead. "Not again…"
"Yep," I sigh. "They must be at a certain perverted Duke Everlue's mansion, trying to destroy a book."
In my mind, I could already see it — Lucy screaming, Natsu laughing, Happy chanting "Aye!" while chaos ruled.
And of course, I had already taken precautions.
Earlier in the morning…
I had summoned **Kakashi** through his card — effortless and smooth like always.
"Watch them from the shadows. Make sure they don't die," I ordered.
Kakashi put his hands in his pockets. "Babysitting duty? You really owe me more reading time."
"You want more Icha Icha Paradise? Done," I promised.
His eyes turned suspiciously sparkly behind the mask. "I'll guard them with my life, Yuta-sensei."
The card shattered into smoke — mission on.
---
Back in the present, I lean back in my chair.
"Those idiots…" I sigh. "Lucy must be freaking out."
Mira chuckles. "I feel a little bad for her… joining Fairy Tail means this kind of thing is normal."
Normal.
Yeah… this craziness is Fairy Tail's everyday life.
And honestly?
I kinda love it.
I stretch a bit, ready to head home for a nap—
Then the guild's doors burst open with a loud *bang*.
Every head turns.
There they are.
Natsu, Happy… and a traumatized Lucy.
Lucy looks like she's aged ten years in one day.
Her hair is messy, her eyes lifeless.
She clutches her spirits keys like they're emotional support plushies.
"I… I hate you both…" she whispers, defeated.
Natsu grins like they'd gone to a picnic.
"We beat up a perverted Duke!" he proudly declares.
"Aye!" Happy salutes.
I raise my hand. "Where's Kakashi?"
Before I can blink — *poof* — a smoke cloud forms at my side.
Kakashi stands there, crouched casually, reading his orange book.
"They survived," he reports dryly. "Barely."
Lucy twitches. "B-barely!?"
"You handled it well for a rookie," Kakashi compliments, ruffling her hair.
Lucy stares at him. "A ninja…? What is this guild!?"
I pat her shoulder as she trembles.
"Welcome to Fairy Tail," I tell her.
She cries.
Not out of sadness…
But out of **realizing her peaceful life is over**.
---
Mira claps her hands. "Let's celebrate your return with a feast!"
I perk up instantly.
Food.
Mira smiling.
Music.
Chaos.
Fairy Tail is about to party.
And me?
I sit back in my corner throne with the perfect view, smirking to myself.
*Yeah… this is exactly the life I chose.*
*Messy. Loud. Stupid.*
But full of the people I care about.
Even if they drive me insane.
---
**To be continued…**