I watched the backs of the students as they left like a blur till they stopped tickling out the gate. Most student didn't need picking because they lived close by and so they walking and disappear in different directions. I rested my back on the bench and contemplated living but what if I walked and my mom or dad came by. I couldn't wanna misconceive them.
The painkillers the nurse had given me must have been strong because after an hour of waiting my eyes shut into a peaceful nap. I shot up awake when something touched my face. I blinked my eyes open but there was no one in sight. I moved my head around quicklime to take In the unfamiliar environment. It was getting dark outside and as I gathered my thoughts and remembered where I was I calmed down a bit. Had my parents really not arrived or did they forget? I thought. But they couldn't. Itd be hard to miss where was seated with the deserted school.
Another drop of rain fell on my face and only then did I realize that what had touched me was a drop of rain falling on my face. The darkness in the sky wasn't just because night was approaching but a heavy dark cloud had gathered overhead. Oh no. I had forgotten it was the rain season and it rained almost everyday in the evenings. The rain always caught up with me when I was in the comfort of my home so I had easily forgotten.
I tried to move but immediately winced because my whole leg burst into flames of pain. The painkillers must have been running out of the system already. Even so I had to move. I couldn't run home even if I wanted because of the approaching rain nor could I stay seated. The clouds thundered and lightning tore through the sky. It was going to rain bloody muddy. The classroom were already locked so I whilled myself to move under the protruding roof of one of the outside washrooms. Schools were mostly bult in Pentagon structure which represent the overall shape of Tagayia. It only had one huge entrance and once it was closed no one could break in. Only an outhouse remained outside that could be used in emergencies.
I was feeling pretty fatigued and tired and for the first time loneliess had taken root in my heart. I have never felt lonely in my life except for the rare moments when I unwell. Looking at the empty classrooms made the lonely feeling fester so fast it almost brought me to my knees. I dragged my bad leg towards the outer house and as if the rain was waiting for me to wake up. It started falling fast and hard. I couldn't run or escape so I let it beat me as I walked to the outer house.
Unbeknownst to me a tear escaped my eyes and joined the rain. I hated my weakness in that moment. The rain fell even harder as if to make fun of me and shivered. I hadn't gotten to change into my school unform yet and it still lay in my locker together with my books. My blazers was still in the locker too and the cold seemed to heighten my pain. Had I really been hurt that bad. My hip ached steadily as if promising me it would get worse if I didn't get to safety.
"Niutaka akanani!" I whispered in despair as I watched the rain fall. I wish I had gone home with Tale. The rain fell for another hour and the sky grew darker with it. It was heavy unrelenting and merciless as its drops fell on the grass and trees tearing the weak leaves and sending them to the earth.
(Niutaka akanani- motherland I suffer)
The rain only let down when the sky was completely dark and the slender moon was trying to peek from the sky. I had felt so cold and lonely for the past hour and a half till I had gone numb. I didn't care for the pain anymore. My heart and body only felt coldness. I rather preferred feeling numb than lonely. I dragged my bad leg from the sheds and headed to the gate. Slowly yet willfully. In that moment I didn't know what feeling was seating in my heart but for the first time I was mad at my parents. I had never felt mad at them but my frustrations and the pain and finally the numbness and even the cold had pushed me to my limit.
I passed through the gate just as the school guardians were walking through. I didn't even glance at them twice. They must have caught in the rain too. I dragged my leg and I must have looked like a thing that walked out the loins if the earth itself. My bushy hair that always lay on my shoulders like a well shaved bush had now shrunk and was sticking to my face with other strands matted into unattractive rumps.
The anger and frustration must have masked the pain because as I walked on the wet pavements I didn't feel a thing. Something inside of me was louder than my pain.
Right as I made the corned the headlights of a car came into sight but I didn't even dare look at it. It went by swiftly and my anger increased. The headlights came again but from behind me and they came to a standstill beside me. I didn't dare look and kept walking. Pain didn't matter anymore I could make it home on my own.
The car hummed again before it came to a stop in front of me on the sidewalk. It was my mother's car indeed. She stepped out of the car and walked to me in haste as if to help me but I shoved her hand away so fast I only realized after she stepped back in astonishment. I had never been an angry child and the shove had surprised both of us. I looked at her with an angry state before I shutting my eyes and walking to the car myself.
"I called your dad to pick you up but he got held up with work and I well I'm pregnant" she said looking at her belly lovingly. She is pregnant? She has been going to work just a day ago? I thought in my head and shut my eyes the numbness in my heart coming back with a force. I could rather not feel than feel the feeling I just endured.
for as long as i could remember i had taken care of myself. i didn't feel bad then when my parents couldn't make it to my events or parents gathering at school. i couldn't blame them because they were always so busy at work. i was privileged to live a better life than most Tigania because both my parents were geniuses in medicine. they could name every plant and every poison in Tigania. the worked i laps tirelessly to create new medication. they had always been heroes in my eyes. but as i sat in the car watching my mother rub her belly that was still flat with so much care, i slightly realized i hadn't really existed in her eyes. had she really forgotten me since she got pregnant.