On a special day, Mitch always have a dream of his dad holding him as a toddler and kissing his tiny hands. His eyes will be as bright as the stars and his voice so soft , it's almost a whisper.
"Welcome my little prince"
Mitch opened his eyes and looked to the side; there was no one there, not Iran, not his auntie Kate and not his dad.
He stared at that empty space for a while before climbing out of the bed. He entered the bathroom and sat down on the tub for a while, feeling restless he took some banana scented soap and poured it into the water.
He played with the bubbles for an hour before washing off the soap and wearing his robes.
He walked out of the room and started wandering around the palace. The attendants nod to acknowledge his presence then they continued their work , the guards dozed off in their posts and the gardeners concentrated fully on their job not even noticing the little prince.
At last he found auntie Kate in the court room , but he couldn't come closer, she was surrounded by paper work and her forehead veins seem to be twitching.
Beside her was a sleeping young man, Mitch have seen him before, he was the man who almost kidnapped mom.
He was about to move closer when he noticed auntie Kate drop the paper work and touch the sleeping man face. When she saw no movement, she bent and kissed his lips gently.
He stired and turned to the other side.
Auntie Kate laughed sweetly and took the paper work again.
Mitch didn't know why , he didn't want to move closer again. Auntie Kate seemed too busy to be troubled.
He turned and walked to his mom room.
These days, his dad have been staying there. He doesn't even come over to watch him sleep anymore.
'Just like how he forgot to kiss me this birthday…'
Like he expected, his dad was sleeping on the bed hugging mom very tight. His face was buried in his mom shoulders and his legs caged her own in a death lock.
Mitch have always find his dad behavior when it comes to his mom strange. His dad didn't really like a lot of things and mostly ignored them , he spent his time in his room sleeping or helping him with homework or art projects.
However ever since his dad brought his mom home, Dad would follow her everywhere, becoming her shadow. There was one time he had a nightmare so he wanted to go to mom room to have some comfort; right outside the room , he could see his dad standing at the door watching his mom sleep.
At the time, his dad aura was so dark, it was scary, he had no choice but to go to Iran room to spend the night there.
When he had questioned his dad why ? His dad had told him when he had something important, he would understand the feeling.
Iran is the most important thing to me , I still don't watch her sleep.
He wanted to retort but he nod his head and went to play.
Mitch climbed the bed and hugged his mom, as expected, his dad snapped open his eyes, his eyes red and his body at alert
Seeing it was him , his dad eyes turned back to blue , he smiled and pinched his cheek.
"Sorry it's coming late but happy birthday my little prince"
Mitch suddenly felt like he was soothed and he smiled.
"Happy birthday to me "
"What do you want for your birthday?"
Mitch raised his eyes and thought for a while "I want to go to the northern border "
"To see Iran?"
"Yes"
His dad shook his head "The northern border is dangerous, you can't go till you're 18 years old"
"But Iran is 9years old and she went"
"That's because nine years in wolf years is like that of a teenager okie dokie?"
Mitch really hate this okie dokie of his dad , it means he have no choice but to accept.
"Okie dokie "
His dad sighed and pat his head again" I know that you're annoyed but I have my reasons, just give it time you would understand "
He nod his head seriously to convince his dad then looked at his mom.
"When is mom waking up?"
His dad eyes turned sad and he put his head back on his mom's chest " I don't know"
There was a thick silence between them; his dad lowered his eyes and used a finger to start poking mom's stomach , when he saw she didn't wake up , he sighed and close his eyes.
"Mitch … I have something I want to tell you"
"Is it about Iran?"
"No it's about your mom "
"I want to hear about Iran, I won't listen to what you want to say about mom , if you don't tell me why Iran haven't come home yesterday"
He could see his dad brow twitching like there's a feather tickling it.
"You are acting way too much like how your mom describes me"
Mitch blinked, wasn't that supposed to be a good thing?
"Okay okay I'll tell you about Iran, but after I tell you about your mom first , deal?"
"Deal"
There was another silence between them before his dad moved his hand over to his side.
"Your mom is not a woman, she's a man"
Mitch blinked in confusion "But how can a woman be a man ?"
"your mom's soul is a man , it just that the soul got trapped in a female body , your mom was already in a stage where they have been accepted socially when I came and brought them back "
"Was that why she's always angry at you?"
His dad flinched "Huh?"
"Was that why she say bad words to you? Sometimes not wanting to come home?"
There was a thick silence before his dad shook his head.
"Your mom feelings towards me is …is not …it's not simple " his dad swallowed, his voice was hoarse " He is angry with me not because of the fact i brought him back but due to the fact, I did some bad things to him"
His voice softened " He never blamed me once for bringing him back"
"Dad…are you a bad person?"
There was another thick silence before his dad slowly nodded.
"Yes…yes I am "
Mitch didn't know what makes a bad person or a good person. His world view was limited by his dad who homeschooled him , his aunt who visited once in a while, the old demons who visited and brought him gifts, sometimes pinching his cheeks, and Iran his best friend.
However seeing how his dad changed so much within a year of staying with Mom made him realize that his dad wasn't always a hero.
A hero doesn't break his wife ankles , a hero doesn't tell the guards to place specific eyes on his wife , a hero doesn't lie to his child about the relationship between him and his mom, a hero does not hold on to his wife crying as she begs him to let her go.
However knowing his dad was a bad person didn't make him feel sad , in a way, he's just happy that at least his dad can finally be honest.
" I still love you dad "
His dad smiled, his voice was soft " I love you too Mitch"
Complex things were meant for the grown ups , and he wasn't old enough to think of grown up problems yet.
"So all I have to do is call mom boy terms?"
"Yes"
"I will make mistakes, but I will make sure I write it down every time… oh since mom is a boy now, does it mean mom will be wearing boys clothes? Will you change her .. his clothes?"
Dad pat Mitch head , his tone softened so much it turned to a whisper.
"You're a good boy"
Mitch smiled at his dad then started to play with his own fingers " So about Iran…Why doesn't she want to come back home?"
"You won't understand "
"If I don't understand it now , I will understand it later " He continued despite the frown on his dad's face " I need to know things papa … you can't keep telling me I will understand later on "
Mitch have always known he acted more mature than his age , everyone told him so. The demons that comes to visit his dad in their old house , his aunt whenever she comes to visit after having fun outside, his dad after he does something praiseworthy, his mom whenever he does something good.
But at the same time, they hide so many things from him. He didn't ask his dad why Mom hair and eyes were black instead of brown like in the pictures , despite his dad telling him that mom was living in Germany , he didn't believe it because mom can't speak German ( he have tried saying it to her many times but mom just looks blankly), his mom sometimes looks so far away…often like he's trying to know how to act towards him , know what to say towards him.
He didn't want to ask those questions because they would say the same thing, he's too young to understand, and intuitively , he knows that when he's older they will continue to say the same thing.
However, even if he could compromise on who his mom was , he can't compromise on Iran.
He moved closer and grabbed his dad hand.
"Why did she leave?"
His dad let out a resigned sigh " it's because she loves you "
Mitch blinked in confusion " Oh … but I love her too "
"It's not that type of love …" his dad lips twitched and his eyes darted around" She likes you the way I like your mom"
Mitch blinked and lowered his head in thoughts.
"Dad … what is love ?"
" I don't know, only you can say whether you love someone or not… my love can be different from yours " he looked over at mom and poked his cheek " your mom and auntie Kate call my love overbearing; but that's what I feel love is … holding on to that person even though it's hard"
"Is it love if I want to marry her ?"
His dad shook his head " I thought that way too at first but wanting to marry someone doesn't necessarily mean you love the person; plenty of demons marry their best friends mistaking it for love. You marry that person because you want to chain that person to your side, not to look at another person but you… that's why I want to marry your mother "
"How do I love Iran… how can I love her the way she loves me?"
There was a thick silence between them ; his dad had a stunned expression on his face , he even seem a little amused. There was a small smile on his face.
"Give yourself sometime … You are a little kid and so she is; You're both growing up … you're still turning out after all "
Mitch nod his head seriously before his ears twitched; the attendants are ringing the bell , it's time for evening court .
His dad also stood up , he opened his arms and lifted him. Mitch was so happy that he swung his legs back and forth.
"You will be ten this year … time go so fast" his dad kissed his cheek softly "My little baby is big now"
Mitch giggled and place his head on his dad shoulder " I'm so happy "
"What do you want for your birthday my little prince ?"
Mitch thought for a while before smiling, i
t was so bright, Nick couldn't help but smile too.
"A big picnic when mom wakes up and Iran comes back "
"It might take years "
"I'll wait " he hugged his dad neck "I am good at waiting"