Yoruichi, that damn woman, hadn't even properly settled in before immediately flaunting her status as Captain, and she went out of her way to use Soifon's Eighth Seat rank to jab at Shirō, as if to say his current position as Fifth Seat was just something he picked up on the side.
Well... to be fair, he sort of had picked it up.
"I'm pretty sure I'm with the Eleventh Division now, not the Second," Shirō replied with a sarcastic edge.
"You shouldn't phrase it like that," Yoruichi said. "Don't just focus on me being the Captain of the Second Division."
(Second time Shirō sneakily flashed two fingers at the little maid beside him.)
"I'm also the current head of the Shihōin Clan. Isn't it only right that I come check on our subordinate noble houses?"
"You're not just here to check in, are you?" Shirō asked.
"Of course not. I came to tell you something good too. I'm a Captain now!" (Third time.)
"And we can't just let that go unnoticed. I mean, I'm the kind of person who usually prefers staying low-key, but still, this is a captaincy, right?" (Fourth time.)
"We've got to celebrate properly. I'm planning to invite some friends and host a little banquet as Captain... blah blah blah... being a Captain isn't easy... blah blah... I'm still a young one at that...
Hey, does my captain's haori look crooked?... Lately I keep hearing 'Captain this' and 'Captain that', it's starting to sound weird."
(The little maid lowered her head deeply.)
Sigh... So full of herself. Just becoming a Captain and already acting like a nouveau riche with no dignity. If I ever become a Captain, I definitely won't act like this flashy maniac.
(Of course, Shirō would absolutely never admit to thinking that.)
"Alright, alright, I get it." Seeing that Yoruichi had no intention of stopping, Shirō proactively cut in, "You're throwing a party, right? Got it. I'll definitely come."
"What do you mean 'you'll come'? As a member of the Shihōin household, you really think you're just a guest?!" Soifon said with a scowl from the side.
"You mean... I'm a host?" Shirō pointed at himself.
Soifon narrowed her eyes and corrected him coldly,
"You're the help."
"..."
"Hahaha! Don't forget to bring a gift!" Yoruichi laughed heartily and gave Shirō a slap on the shoulder.
In that moment, Shirō's expression stiffened. He was already being treated like a servant, and now he had to bring a gift too? Even slave societies weren't this exploitative.
"Oh right, we've got to head to the next place. That's it for now!" Yoruichi waved her hand as she turned to leave.
"Bastard..." Shirō growled through clenched teeth.
Whoosh!
Yoruichi instantly appeared in front of him, their faces nearly touching.
"Who are you calling that?"
If it were anyone else, he might have flinched, but this was Yoruichi. Even now, after becoming a Captain, Shirō wasn't the least bit afraid. He rolled his eyes. "Whoever responds, that's who."
Whoosh!
Soifon immediately drew her sword.
"You insolent fool! Apologize to Lady Yoruichi!"
"C'mon, we're all close here. Little Bee, you know better than anyone, verbal apologies don't mean anything to him. Only physical reminders leave a lasting impression." Yoruichi cracked her knuckles with a loud pop.
"I've already decided our next stop, we're heading to the Fourth Division."
"Wait, wait!" Yoruichi's words made Shirō twitch. He quickly backed away. "What's this?! You're going to gang up on me?!"
"Now that you're in the Eleventh Division, we haven't sparred at all," Yoruichi said casually. "No idea how strong you've gotten. Have your wings grown in? Just so people don't say I bullied you, Little Bee, go help him."
"But Lady Yoruichi!-"
"Hmm? You doubt my strength?" Yoruichi narrowed her eyes.
Soifon shivered and immediately straightened. "No, ma'am!"
And just like that, Soifon and Shirō positioned themselves in front and behind Yoruichi, encircling her.
Of course, Shirō knew perfectly well, Yoruichi wasn't running anywhere. This formation clearly meant that Soifon had no intention of working with him. In fact, this so-called ally of his might just turn on him at any moment.
"Nothing's scarier than a pig-like teammate," Shirō muttered under his breath. Thankfully, Soifon didn't hear it.
"Release your Shikai," Yoruichi said directly.
"My Shikai?" Shirō blinked as he gripped his Zanpakutō.
"Yeah. Everyone here already knows. What's there to hide?" Yoruichi replied matter-of-factly.
"Damn, you're right! That was dumb of me!"
Before he finished speaking, as if suddenly remembering something, Shirō vanished from the spot.
"Um... Lady Yoruichi, did he just run away?" Soifon asked weakly from behind.
Yoruichi stroked her chin.
"Feels like something big's about to happen..."
DONG! DONG! DONG!
Soul Society: Emergency Captain Assembly
"What happened this time?"
"There wasn't even the slightest warning."
"Well, that's what makes it an emergency meeting."
"Could it be the Quincy?"
The last great war hadn't been long ago, and most of the captains were still on edge.
Inside the First Division assembly hall, Head Captain Yamamoto soon stepped out.
The other captains quickly looked around and noticed Kenpachi wasn't present. They all quietly exhaled. If Kuruyashiki Kenpachi wasn't here, then at least it probably wasn't about war.
Shunsui lowered the brim of his hat and quietly whispered to Ukitake.
"Ahem... I don't know either. I overslept. Thought it was another one of those mass notifications."
Ukitake replied with a chuckle.
On the other side, the newly appointed Second Division Captain, Shihōin Yoruichi, was being as extra as ever, using this chance to pass out invitations for her upcoming captaincy celebration, completely turning the solemn Captain Assembly into a makeshift bazaar...
BANG!
Having finally reached his limit, Yamamoto slammed his cane on the ground.
"Silence!"
Whoosh!
Instantly, the room quieted. All the captains lined up neatly on both sides.
"I've gathered you all here today to announce something important," Yamamoto said bluntly.
"Presenting, the Eighth Kenpachi!"
"What?!"
Every captain stared in shock, exchanging looks filled with confusion and disbelief.
Everyone knew that the current Kenpachi, Kuruyashiki Kenpachi, was the Seventh. And now Yamamoto was summoning the Eighth Kenpachi...
Whatever had happened didn't need to be spelled out.
The large doors slowly opened. All eyes turned to the entrance.
Whoosh! Clack-clack! Whoosh! Clack-clack! Whoosh! Clack-clack!
An odd sound grew louder and louder.
Yoruichi scratched the back of her head.
Shunsui rubbed his eyes. "Did Lisa hit me so hard the other day that I'm still seeing double?"
Kuchiki Ginrei furrowed his brow slightly.
Kirio Hikifune blinked.
"Isn't that... you know, that guy~?"
Unohana hadn't shifted her gaze even once. She continued looking forward calmly, expression unreadable.
Whoosh! Clack-clack! Whoosh! Clack-clack! Whoosh! Clack-clack!