That was exactly the problem.
I knew Crow was right, that everything he was saying held meaning.
I knew I was stronger, the strongest.
But that hall of mirrors, no that hell of reflection utterly destroyed me.
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For as long as I could remember, I was expected to train, study, train, eat, train and sleep. After all, the heir of House Zephyrian should have obviously been the strongest of everyone else.
My mother, the duchess, made me realise that simple concept early on.
I was prohibited everything that could hinder my growth. Constantly on diets, training programs, magic studies, etiquette… everything that was needed to be the Ruler of rulers.
Even if officially the twelve main families held the same worth, we of house Storm knew better.
We were the strongest, the richest, the mightiest.
But then I met my father.
A man only brought into the family because he had the strongest purity of blood without being part of the family.
He was everything I hated.
Carefree, weak, sloppy in all his actions. Even with all that potential, he chose to not proceed in the path of the storm, simply because he didn't like pain.
But he also was the one who taught me something I'd never thought was even real.
He taught me what love was, what it meant to care for a family member, that even if his job was solely that of giving the seed for creating me, he wanted to at least meet me and tell me that I was worthy of love.
I started skipping on studies I thought were less important and run to my father, always hiding, always careful.
He was a musician, he used the resonance with the wind to play various instruments at once.
I knew that even just achieving that was a big result of mana training. He just said it was funnier to listen to music produced by more and more instruments.
I was fascinated and that was also when I started making mistakes.
I'd train my resonance to play music myself.
My mother had me whipped for 5 hours that day.
I'd say I wanted to see the world outside the family.
My mother carved out my eyes and threw them outside the walls of the palace.
I stayed blind for days before someone decided to heal me and when he did, that person was killed in front of my eyes.
All those experiences, those moments were all clear in the reflection of those damned mirrors.
Sure, it was only my reflection.
But the nuances, the expressions. I recognised everything.
I didn't even realise that I was losing myself into the world of those reflections.
They were laughing at me, but all I saw was the past that haunted me till this day.
I wanted to run away, to save myself, but even the defence charm I brought was useless, I couldn't even recognise who held the real one. So I prayed.
I prayed the gods to send someone to save me before one of the reflections would stare back at me with the eyes I had in that moment, the memory I fought my hardest to close out of my heart.
I should have listened to Crow.
I should have brought higher defences.
Stronger then the rest? Yeah sure.
Who even is the real me?
Where are these thoughts coming from?
I was so lost I didn't even realise I was moving, not until I felt him.
His scent still lingering in the air.
Like and old library with broken walls caught in the thunderstorm.
The scent of Oakwood, ink and heavy rain, there was only a person with such a nonesensical scent.
My instinct flared beyond recognition and I chased him.
I chased the scent of his body that I had grown so familiar to in these days.
The rythm of his steps that didn't make sense at all, like someone walking on an odd number of legs.
The sound of his voice, that if you didn't focus enough on him it felt like it could blend in whispers not meant for human ears.
And I found him.
Walking steadily without a care in the world.
Calling his own name like it was a children's fairytale.
Playing with mana like it was a simple toy.
He was real, so real it started affecting the illusions that previously chased me.
And I was freed.
In that moment I activated the security measures and left that hell.
Once I was outside, reality started to click in, to bring me back from the pits of the abyss, but the lingering effects of those mirrors was still there.
At that moment I felt a panic settle inside me like I never experienced before. I looked around myself and except for Yom, His Grace and Crow himself, everyone was already out, panting just like me, clinging to the ground like it could save them like me.
Only a few minutes later, Yom appeared with his father, but there still were no traces of Crow coming back.
The duke started delivering drinks to everyone.
"That was an interesting experience, but since I'm pretty sure nobody here is used to madness I'd advise you all to only focus on one thing only. Find something that grounds you. And forget everything else."
"Dad, he really is a genius. That is the perfect environment for training our mental defences!"
"It sure is Yom, a little extreme for my likings, but let's see what effect it has for him, after all he was the one that created all this."
Although Yom himself was breathing heavily, he was still able to hold a conversation with his dad and I realised what mess I threw myself at.
I jumped into a specialised Disorder training facility without really knowing what to expect.
I was stupid to think that since I was the strongest I would obviously excel at this too.
I had totally forgotten how disorder specialises in mental attacks.
I kept breathing trying to find something that would ground me to reality, but there was nothing. At least, nothing that I wanted to be my anchor.
That was when something in my pocket vibrated slightly and when I took it out I trembled a little.
The irony of escaping from mirrors, only to find comfort in a pocket mirror with sanded decorations of clouds and thunder.
I focused not on my reflection, but on the details he had crafted on the mirror and my heart started to finally settle down.
Time passed slowly, we received a round of healing every 30 minutes to try and stabilise our bodies, at least the effects of the shock on the body was taken care of.
At a certain point, Rovan started to do pushups, Eira took out a seed and focused on making the flower bloom without earth or water, Juste began reciting the entire constitution.
Everyone was doing something to distract themselves. That until the eighth hour ticked in.
At that point I couldn't even try and mask my anxiety.
This was not normal, it was impossible for someone to still be alive after all that time there, forget sane. I was just about to go and ask His grace to take Crow out when a ripple in mana happened.
The next second, here he was.
But somehow, his presence felt bigger, much more important and even if I knew what it was and I knew I should have felt discomfort from his presence alone.
The worry I was unconsciously keeping, was swept away.
He was smiling, radiant, then confused and displeased, than happy once again.
He didn't care to mask his emotion. He swept to look across the room, sensing how we were feeling about this whole situation and without a care in the world he asked his father how to reel in his now magnified presence.
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"That's what happened. Do you still think I'm the strongest?"
I kept culling his hair, I knew he wasn't exactly telling me everything, especially since he didn't tell me how he was able to get back to himself and escape the hall of illusion, but I decided to ignore such small details.
"Cael, can you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree?"
"Are you making fun of me Crow?"
His frown returned immediately and I moved to massage it out of his face.
"Stop this, I don't like it when you frown and I don't like it when you jump to conclusions. What I meant to say is that there are different kind of strengths."
"So what? If you can produce those artefacts with the help of some craftsmen, you will surely be able to make a spell with the same effect."
I chuckled a little at his antics.
"Do you know how many runes were used in total for that artefact?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes. There were exactly 700 repetitions of 5 runes and a total of 127 runes for the formation and creation. A grand total of 35127 runes."
He looked at me like I was an alien.
"There is no way I could be able to manipulate that many runes in my life Cael, so yes. Yes, I think you are the strongest, in fact, this isn't fair. I will ban you all from entering my meditation hall. At least let me keep my advantage in something."
He didn't answer my clear sarcasm, just pushed himself onto me with renewed strength and finally fell asleep.
"This is ridiculous."