Chapter 75: The Overdue Epilogue
The Bureau usually operated on the principle that the future was something to be filed later. But at 11:00 Cycles, the heavy silver envelope sliding under the door didn't just contain a letter; it contained a Conclusion.
When Ne Job broke the seal, the paper didn't just sit in his hand. It began to hum with a final, echoing resonance. The text was written in "Sunset Gold," and the heading read: CHAPTER 999: THE FINAL FILING.
"Commissioner," Assistant Yue's voice was barely a whisper. "THAT. DOCUMENT. IS. RADIATING. 'WRAPPING-UP' ENERGY. IT. SAYS. THE. LIGHTS. HAVE. ALREADY. BEEN. TURNED. OFF. IT. IS. A. MESSAGE. FROM. THE. END. OF. THE. BOOK."
The Ghost of the End
The letter was a formal "Notice of Closure." It claimed that Ne Job had already retired, the Muse had returned to the stars, and the Bureau had been converted into a museum for "Obsolete Infinities."
"But we're still here!" Pip shouted, clutching their wrench as the edges of the Lobby began to turn a soft, nostalgic sepia. "I'm only seventeen chapters into my character arc! I haven't even had a tragic backstory reveal yet!"
"The Epilogue doesn't care about your arc, Pip," Architect Ao Bing groaned, watching his blueprints turn into "Historical Diagrams." "It's a Narrative Vacuum. It's trying to pull the 'Present' into the 'Finished'."
The 7.5% Premature Retirement
Ne Job felt a sudden, heavy urge to sit down and stop working. He felt 7.5% older, his silver plume turning a dusty gray. He looked at his desk and saw a "Gold Watch" manifest out of thin air—a gift for a career that hadn't ended yet.
"Don't touch the watch, Ne Job!" The Muse screamed, her hair flickering like a candle in a draft. "If you accept the retirement gift, the Epilogue becomes 100% real! You'll be 'Happily Ever After' before we finish the conflict!"
"But I'm tired, Muse," Ne Job whispered, his hand drifting toward the gold watch. "Maybe an ending isn't so bad."
The Stapler of the Unfinished
The Junior Archivist suddenly jumped onto the desk and kicked the gold watch onto the floor. "Bad Senior! No stopping! We have three thousand paperclips to sort!"
The sharp clatter of the watch hitting the floor snapped Ne Job out of the trance. He looked at the "Notice of Closure" and realized it was a Narrative Error. The future had arrived without paying its "Linear Toll."
"This isn't an Epilogue," Ne Job growled, his silver plume reigniting with a fierce violet spark. "It's a Spoiler! And in this Bureau, we do not tolerate spoilers!"
He grabbed his silver stapler. He didn't staple the letter; he KA-CHUNKED a "To Be Continued" notice directly over the words "The End."
The Paradoxical Postmark
The sepia tint shattered. The rocking chair snapped back into a sturdy mahogany desk. The "Sunset Gold" ink on the letter turned into a chaotic, angry black.
"You can't stay in the middle forever!" a voice echoed from the envelope—the voice of the Future-Ne Job. "The book has to close eventually!"
"Eventually isn't today!" Ne Job shouted back.
He used the Semicolon to create a "Temporal Loophole." He shoved the Overdue Epilogue into a "Dead Letter" file and sealed it with a 7.5% "Non-Disclosure Agreement." By the laws of the Bureau, if a document is under NDA, its contents cannot manifest in reality.
The Return to the Middle
The Bureau solidified. The "Future" retreated back to the distant chapters where it belonged. Ne Job's back stopped aching, and his plume was 100% silver once more.
LOG: CHAPTER 75 SUMMARY.
STATUS: Retirement declined. Epilogue filed under 'Premature.'
NOTE: I'm keeping the gold watch, but I've repurposed it as a paperweight.
OBSERVATION: The end is inevitable, but arriving early is just bad manners.
P.S.: Pip is now obsessed with their 'Tragic Backstory.' They've started staring wistfully out of windows for 7.5% of their shift.
The Muse leaned over his shoulder, her hair back to its electric-neon blue. "That was a close one, Ne Job. For a second there, I thought we were going to fade to black."
Ne Job looked at the Semicolon. It was glowing with a stubborn, mid-sentence violet.
"The lights stay on, Muse," Ne Job said. "Now, why is Assistant Yue sounding a 7.5% alarm and why has a Giant Silver Elevator appeared in the Lobby with a button that only says 'UP'?"