Chapter 88: The Forced Opening
The "Long Sleep" of the hiatus was supposed to be a sanctuary of silence, but at 17:00 Cycles, the cardstock sky didn't just open—it screamed. A jagged, serrated blade of light—the Giant Silver Letter-Opener—pierced through the "Back Cover" of reality, shredding the "About the Author" section into confetti.
"Commissioner!" Assistant Yue rebooted with a screech of feedback, her emergency lights strobing a panicked amber. "WE. ARE. BEING. HACKED. A. 'PIRATE. READER'. IS. ATTEMPTING. AN. UNAUTHORIZED. SPOILER-EXTENDED. EXTRACTION. THEY. ARE. TEARING. THE. BINDING. TO. REACH. THE. END. BEFORE. THE. MIDDLE. IS. FINISHED."
The Breach of Curiosity
Through the jagged hole in the sky, a massive, unformed eye peered down—a Vast Iris of Impatience.
"Show me the ending!" a voice thundered, vibrating the very floorboards. "I've skipped the character development! I've ignored the subplots! I just want to know if Ne Job survives the Void!"
The force of the "Forced Opening" began to suck objects upward.
The Muse's hair was being pulled toward the rift like a neon cloud. "I'm being summarized!" she shrieked. "He's trying to boil me down to a 'Five-Word Description'!"
Pip was clinging to a filing cabinet that was being dragged toward the tear. "My arc! He's trying to 'Fast-Forward' my growth! I haven't even learned the 'Lesson of the Silver Wrench' yet!"
The 7.5% Spoilers
Ne Job stood firm, his boots sparking against the mahogany floor. "You can't have the ending!" he roared at the giant eye. "The ending is 100% earnable and 0% extractable! If you read the last page now, the ink will turn to dust in your hands!"
"I don't care!" the Pirate Reader bellowed. "I want the Big Reveal! Give me the Ultimate Secret of the Semicolon!"
The Letter-Opener sliced again, nearly taking off the roof of the Department of Human Trajectories. The Bureau was losing its "Structural Integrity" because its "Pacing" was being destroyed.
The Pacing Defense
Ne Job realized that you couldn't fight a Reader with force; you had to fight them with Suspense.
"Junior! Get the 'Crate of Red Herrings'! Assistant Yue, deploy the 'Wall of Ambiguity'!"
Ne Job didn't fire at the eye. He used the Semicolon to create a 7.5% Narrative Delay. He fired a burst of violet light that didn't repair the sky, but instead filled the rift with "Dense, Unnecessary Description" and "Irrelevant Backstory."
"You want to know the secret?" Ne Job yelled. "First, let me tell you about the 400-year history of the Silver Staple's Mineral Composition! Let me explain the 7.5% tax code of the Void-Drakes' Homeland!"
The Boredom Barrier
As the "Boring Details" flooded the rift, the Pirate Reader's eye began to glaze over. The "Rate of Extraction" slowed. The Letter-Opener wavered.
"No... too much... world-building..." the voice groaned. "The pacing... it's... it's dragging..."
Ne Job didn't stop. He used the Semicolon to staple a "To Be Continued" sign directly onto the Reader's retina. The violet energy acted as a Narrative Block, forcing the intruder back out of the "Book" and sealing the tear with a layer of "Compelling Mystery."
The Sealing of the Spine
With a final, frustrated huff, the Pirate Reader withdrew. The Silver Letter-Opener vanished. Ne Job used the Semicolon to "Stitch" the back cover shut, reinforcing the binding with a 7.5% stronger "Spoiler-Guard."
LOG: CHAPTER 88 SUMMARY.
STATUS: Breach sealed. Ending protected.
NOTE: I've learned that 'Boredom' is the ultimate shield against the impatient.
OBSERVATION: A story is a journey, not a destination. If you skip to the end, you're just standing in a graveyard of context.
P.S.: Pip is upset that the Reader didn't find them 'Compelling' enough to keep reading. I've told them that being a 'Hard-to-Read' character is a mark of quality.
The Muse collapsed onto a desk, her hair returning to its electric-blue. "That was... intense. I felt like I was being skimmed."
Ne Job looked at the Semicolon. It was glowing with a protective, secretive violet.
"The secret is safe, Muse," Ne Job said. "Now, why is Assistant Yue sounding a 7.5% alarm and why has a Giant Silver Bookmark appeared in the middle of the Lobby, and why is it currently trying to flatten us?"