(Colton Cypraes)
I've never lost control like that just because of one person. I'm scared, I know that I shouldn't be, but I'm scared shitless. I don't know what to do about it.
I'm not scared of loving Orion, if anything, I'm scared if we don't work out. He is a work of art that no other person can compare to. I know I should tell him about my relationship with Finn. I don't want it to drag on and affect our relationship in the long run.
I want to grow old with him. I want to do so much more with him if he'll have me.
"I sound stupid right now talking to old bottle wines."
I wanted to get out of the kitchen as fast as I could. I don't trust myself not to do something stupid. I want our first time to be special. I know most people would want to get it over with, but I just want to show him that he's my world.
He has my heart completely. I didn't think I'd ever see myself settling down with anyone, but right now, all I can think about is us having grey hair in each other's arms.
I dread going back up from the wine cellar to the kitchen because I need to come clean tonight if I want this to continue into something more.
"Hey, you came back. I thought you were going to disappear, like in a horror movie."
"Wait, you thought I lured you here. I'm really touched, but I went to get this."
When I bought the house, it came with a wine cellar, which was the deal breaker for me.
"Sweet, anyway, dinner is done. Can you help me set the table?"
How did this dinner date turn into him cooking for me in my house? For what it's worth, this is the best dinner date I've ever had. It tops everything. On second thought, those other dates don't count.
I watch him trying to find the tableware. He then staggers slightly and takes a deep breath before resuming.
Is he that hungry? Hmmm…
"Are you just going to stand there holding that wine, or are you going to help me?"
"Are you okay? You staggered there a bit?"
"Yeah, I am, don't worry, it's nothing. I'm just hungry, that's all."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am. Now, plates, forks, where are they?"
I chuckle because the things he's looking for in the upper cabinets are in the table drawers. I had everything made to my taste. I place the wine on the table and pull the drawers on the bottom of the dinner table.
I whip around to find him staring at me with those sweet, dreamy eyes. As if he just found out a secret stash of candy. Cute.
The food is just like the first time that I tasted it. It melts in the mouth and brings past memories to the mind, kind of like a bittersweet taste.
Is this what SpongeBob was about, cooking with love? Maybe the secret ingredient is actually love. That thought makes me smile.
"What are you smiling about?"
"It's just that now I have you to myself."
I pull him onto my lap. We have already finished dinner and cleaned the dishes. The only thing we are doing right now is sipping wine with him on my lap.
Here goes nothing, I sigh and place my glass on the table.
"Orion, I have to tell you something."
His demeanor changes, and he clutches the glass in his hand tightly. I probably should get the glass from him.
"Are you? Is this you? Are we? You…"
"Hey, hey, it's not that. I'm not leaving you, baby. I just need to tell you something. If anything, I'm scared after you listen to me."
I pull him close against me. I'm scared he might leave me.
"Baby, I know your ex, Finnegan."
I watch as the wheel turns in his head, as the realization finally hits him.
He breathes a sigh of relief, I think. He turns and cups my face and smiles gently.
"Is that all?"
What? What do you mean? I was eating myself up for nothing. I mean, it's a relief he doesn't lash out. I'm confused. What am I missing?
" What?"
He chuckles and smiles at me, still holding my face in his soft hands. For a minute, I got lost in his soft touch.
"Are you not going to ask how or why or get mad at me?"
"You know life doesn't work like that. We are not in a movie where I get mad at you for keeping that information to yourself."
"I know about your history and what happened between you, too."
"We were young, plus he's getting married to someone else. We made our peace a long time ago. I even got invited to the wedding."
"Wait, you got invited to the wedding, how come I didn't?"
He shrugs. I mean, we had a falling out, but at least invite me too.
"Are you mad right now? If it's a consolation, his fiancée made him work for my apology. It was fun though."
"Really?"
"Yeah, anyway, enough about them."
I pull him tightly against me because I think my whole body came alive.
I lean in and kiss his soft lips. He is going to be the death of me. He moans, and all my constraints break. I use that chance to push my tongue into his mouth, he tastes divine, like my ruin in human form.
We break the kiss, his mouth is swollen, which feeds into my ego. I made a mess. I'm not done yet.
"Baby, if we keep going like this. I need to be sure you want this, too."
"Ye…ye...ah."
Damn, he's a mess, and I'm not done yet.
I can't believe I'm going to ask this question. Maybe I should have told him that he wasn't going to let him leave here tonight.
"Don't worry, I knew something would happen, so I…umm prepared."
"Really? You did."
"Yeah."
I think I'm going to heaven tonight.