Maria arrived at the coffee shop ten minutes late.
"I'm so sorry," she pulled a chair and sat in front of him. "I got delayed at work."
"It's fine," he lied, forcing a smile. Nothing about it was fine; every minute she was late felt like an eternity and brought with it the torturous panic of indecision. Should he call her? Or send her a text? What would he seem like if he did? Clingy? Desperate?
Just be yourself, the advice echoed through his head. A useless, terrible advice. If he was honest and told her how stressed he was—she would turn around and flee. Maybe… if I make a joke about it.
"I was starting to think you were going to bail on me," he scoffed, releasing some of his nerves.
"Nah," she smiled. "If something came up, I'd have let you know. I don't bail on my friends."
He barely managed not to frown. Friend, that's all I am to her, that's all I'll ever be…
She got up to get herself a decaf, then returned. "So, how've you been? I haven't seen you since high-school. You went to college, right?"
"Ah, yeah, but I dropped out. I work in digital art now."
"Wow, really? I thought you wanted to be a lawyer, follow in your father's footsteps and everything."
"Yeah," he had never told her about his attempt at pro-gaming, fearing she would think less of him—if that was even possible… It didn't really matter now. "I thought so too, but after my mother—"
"Oh! Oh my God, your mother, I completely forgot," she reached out a hand over the table to hold his, and covered her mouth with the other. "I'm so sorry. I heard about what happened on the news… recognized your mother's name… I should have called…"
"It's fine—" he started to say, but a thought stopped him. No, it isn't fine. She completely abandoned him after high-school, barely returned his calls or messages. Up until now, he had assumed she didn't know about his mother… but she did, and even thought about calling him. Why didn't she? It could have helped him… maybe if he had someone to talk to back then, some emotional support, he wouldn't have wasted the past four years of his life doing nothing.
He could take the risk and say something, but what could he say? Blaming her for his troubles would only push her away, make her dislike him…
The alternative was to let it go, say nothing, be nice about it. Spineless, weak, polite. He couldn't bear the thought of that.
He had to say something… and if that ended up turning her away, then… he had survived the past eight years without her; he could survive the rest.
"You're right…" He lowered his head, grimacing, and pulled his hand away. "You should have called. Then, and all the other times I tried to reach out to you… I could have used someone to talk to."
Her lips parted.
He expected a rebuke, expected her to be indignant.
"I know. I'm sorry, Kai Bear."
He looked up at her.
She withdrew into herself. "Do you forgive me?"
Warmth filled his heart, and his mind went blank. "Ah… yeah, of course. I…" He didn't know what else to say. Perhaps he could take a few more risks. "But you are going to have to make it up to me."
She pursed her lips into a tight, amused smile. "Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?"
He gulped. Careful, don't get greedy now. "I can think of a few things, but… you can start by telling me how you have been in the past several years."
She giggled and… blushed? He could have sworn she had. Maybe it was just his imagination.
The date continued swimmingly, as she told him about her failed attempt at becoming an actress, giving him the courage to tell her about his failed pro-gaming career. He wavered when she asked: "You still play video games?" Her tone was filled with derision.
He was doing so well, and gaming was not a hill he was willing to die on. "Not really, too busy being an adult." He knew this half-truth would catch up with him sooner or later, and he felt guilty about that, but leaving a good impression was more important. He would deal with the consequences later.
The evening went on until she had to leave, and they hugged as they said their goodbyes.
"It was so good to see you again," she said, her slender arms wrapping around him. "I can't believe I can actually get all the way around you," she chuckled.
"Yeah," he laughed, taking it as a compliment. "It was good to see you too. I'm so glad we ran into each other," he embraced her tightly. "We should meet again sometime."
"Yeah, I'd like that," she separated from him. "It has been a while since I had someone I could talk to."
"Right, ah…" He scratched the back of his neck. This was the perfect chance to tell her how he felt, that he wanted them to be more than friends—but the words were stuck in his throat, and anxiety twisted in his gut.
"Kai Bear?" she asked, noticing his consternation.
Accept the risk. He sighed, closing his eyes. "I, ah… I want—I know we just reconnected, but… I just…"
"Aha…" Her big green eyes looked at him expectantly.
"I want us to be more than friends." He opened his eyes.
Her face contorted. "I don't know, Kai… I don't really think of you that way."
He felt the floor fall from under him, but there was no way back now, only forward. "Then, think again," he suggested.
She chuckled and shook her head.
"Com'on, give me a chance. We aren't in high school anymore; things are different now…" He shrugged. "What've you got to lose?"
She swayed left and right, scanning him up and down, turning the idea over in her head, then smiled. "Alright."
He blinked. "A-alright?"
"Yeah, we can give it a shot." She hung the strap of her purse over her shoulder and headed out of the shop.
Kai followed her, his head spinning with excitement. "Okay." He barely managed to keep himself together.
"But I gotta warn you, I can be quite a handful."
"Yeah, I know."
She clicked her tongue and slapped his chest, but she was smiling, and they both laughed as they stepped into the street.
"I guess I'll cya later, Kai Bear."
"Cya later, Mari."
On his way home, Kai felt elated. He wanted to dance, to scream from the top of the world.
He was the happiest he had ever been.