Kai lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind replaying the events of that day over and over.
"Kai," Vermallelia entered his room, her tone soft. "I, eh… I made you breakfast." She put the plate of omelet and veggies on his desk.
"Right," he said absently and sat up. "Thanks." He rubbed his eyes and lingered for a long moment, mustering up the strength to get out of bed. He drew away his blanket and went to sit in his chair. The rat-girl stood next to him as he ate.
"It's rather late… Don't you have work?"
"No… I called Catherine, told her I needed some time off."
She nodded, and her tail swished nervously. "Are you… okay?"
"Yeah," he said flatly, then took in a mouthful of omelet, chewed, and swallowed. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure? Back then… you almost…" she choked. "You almost died."
"But I didn't die; I didn't even get hurt. I'm fine."
"Just because you didn't get hurt doesn't mean you're fine."
He pursed his lips. "What do you want me to say?"
"I—" she stammered. "I don't know, but… over the past couple of days…" She shook her head. "It's like you've given up on everything."
"What are you talking about?" He furrowed his brows. "I've been tired, that's all."
"You can fool yourself if you want, but you are not fooling me." She crossed her arms.
"Whatever. Believe what you—" his sentence was cut short by the ringing of his phone. He picked it up and answered. "Hey."
"You haven't been returning my messages," Maria said.
"Ah, sorry, I was… a bit distracted over the weekend."
"Are you at work?"
"No, I got the day off."
"Good, because… you heard what happened at the beach, right?"
His face darkened. "Yeah…"
"They are having a memorial today, lighting candles on the old pier… I thought… maybe we could go together."
He winced. "Ah… Yeah, sure, we, ah… we can go if you want."
"You don't have to, if you have other plans—"
"No, no, I'll come with you… When are we going?"
"In an hour or so? I will message you."
"Alright, I'll cya then."
She hung up.
"Meeting up with your girlfriend?" Vermallelia scowled.
"Is that a problem?" he scowled back.
"I don't know; you tell me."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Last time she came over, you hid me in the closet!"
"Ah…"
"I bet if I were a cute gerbil or a hamster, then you would've proudly introduced me to her."
"What?"
"Don't deny it," she stomped her foot. "You are ashamed of me because I'm a rat!"
"No, I—" he covered his face. "I put you in the closet because I was hoping to sleep with her, and I figured you wouldn't want to see that. Was I wrong?"
The rat-girl's mouth hung open, and she blinked. "Oh…"
"If you want, I'll leave you out next time… pervert."
"No, that's not what I-I was—"
He sighed. "Forget it, I'm tired of arguing." He continued eating, finishing his plate.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to argue."
"It's okay," he got up with the plate.
"I'll wash," she reached for it.
"Thanks."
"So… where are you meeting her?" she asked on her way to the kitchen.
"There's a memorial at the beach, she wanted to go."
"Are you…" She paused as she reached the sink and turned on the water. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Kai opened his closet and began picking out clothes. "I'll be fine."
***
They walked along the beach, heading toward the old wooden pier. A small crowd had gathered there, placing flowers and candles beside pictures of the dead.
"I can't believe this happened. I come here all the time…" Maria said as they drew closer to the crowd.
"Yeah, me too…" he said impassively.
"It's scary to think about."
"Yeah…"
"Do you know anyone who has passed away?"
"I, ah…" His mouth went dry; he looked away from her, seeking a distraction. "I—" he stopped as his eyes fell on a familiar face. "Charlie…?"
She followed his gaze. "You know him?"
Kai nodded and quickened his pace toward the tall, dark-haired man, who stood over a framed picture of Mike. He heard the Oathless approach and turned to look.
"Hey," the Oathless said. "Are you, ah…" He paused as he noticed the bandage wrapped around the tall man's forehead. "Are you okay?"
Charlie glanced at Maria as she caught up with her boyfriend and then returned his gaze to the picture. "No, no, I'm not."
"Is the injury serious?"
"Oh, that? No, just a few stitches."
"Right…" Kai stuffed his hands in the pockets of his yellow shorts and lowered his head. "Sorry for your loss."
"Sorry for your loss," Maria echoed.
Charlie gave a slight nod of acknowledgment and remained silent.
"Com'on," Maria whispered, taking the Oathless's hand. "We should give him some time to—"
"How're the girls?" Charlie asked.
Maria raised an eyebrow and looked at Kai expectantly.
"They're fine, they managed to get away in time."
The tall man scanned Kai with a glance. "It seems you did, too."
The Oathless pursed his lips.
"Lucky you," Charlie said, and returned his gaze to the photo.
Maria drew the Oathless away, and he went with her, heading further down the pier.
"Girls? What was he talking about?" she whispered, her tone curt.
"My godmother, I invited her and the other women I told you about to hang out as thanks for all they have done for me over the past several months…"
"So… you were… you were here when it happened?"
He nodded.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She shoved him.
"What's there to tell?"
"That you almost died?!"
He clicked his tongue, annoyed at having that conversation for the second time in the same day. "But I didn't die, I didn't even get hurt. I have nothing to complain about."
"So… what? Were you ever going to mention it?"
He shrugged.
She crossed her arms and sneered. "Unbelievable."
Kai rolled his eyes. "What?"
"You know, I thought it'd be different with you, that because of our past, you would feel comfortable sharing things with me, that you'd talk to me—trust me." She shook her head. "Clearly, I was wrong."
He bit his lips. Why is she angry? She should feel sorry for me, say things like 'wow, I can't believe I almost lost you,' instead of yelling at me. He grabbed Maria's shoulders and turned her to face him. "What do you want me to say? That I was scared? Terrified out of my mind? That I—" he glanced at Charlie and lowered his voice. "That I saw Mike drown in front of my eyes and couldn't do anything about it? Is that the kinda shit you wanna hear?"
Her lips parted, and she hesitated for a moment. "I'm sorry, Kai. That sounds awful. I can't imagine what you've been through."
He scoffed and let her go, his shoulders slumping. "It is what you wanna hear," he said, dumbfounded. "I don't get it, what's the point of talking about a problem you cannot solve?"
"It's not about solving problems," she hugged him. "It's about sharing the burden… You don't have to carry all of it on your own."
He hugged her back, and let out a deep breath, feeling relieved after his outburst.
Their hug lasted a long minute, then they drew apart. "And don't worry," she said with a wry smile. "I completely forgive you for not inviting me to your deadly god-family get-together."
"Thanks," he chuckled. "Can I make it up to you by suggesting a mundane, totally safe, normal-family get-together?"
She looked up at him.
"You met my dad before," he said. "And it wouldn't be the first time you came over to our house for dinner… but if you think it's too soon…"
"No, it sounds nice, actually… Who will be there?"
"Just me, my dad, my sister, and her husband if he isn't stuck at work," or with his mistress, he thought. "It's still a couple of weeks off, so… you have plenty of time to change your mind."
She smiled. "I'll think about it, then."