"I'm sorry for everything you had to go through because of me."
Seungcheol apologized as he gave a sad smile to Sara who was sitting opposite him and trying to calmly drink the coffee she made.
He still doesn't know why Sara did what she did but after talking to Minghao he realised his fault so he apologized to Sara before hearing what Sara has to say.
Seungcheol looked down at his cup which contained chocolate milk, he never liked to drink coffee because he finds its taste to be peculiar but occasionally he liked to drink chocolate flavoured drinks. His taste buds are very particular about everything, even the chocolate drinks he likes to drink should not be too sweet or too bland.
Sara knows that he doesn't like coffee so whenever he visited her apartment she has always made chocolate milk for him to drink but the chocolate milk she made was never to his taste as sometimes it was too sweet or too bland for him still he never complained or never let her know about it as he used to drink is quickly while complimenting her saying that it was delicious.
He always tried to accommodate her to keep her happy but maybe that's not what she wanted.
Maybe she just wanted him to complain so that she would eventually know the right amount of sugar she should add in the chocolate milk to make it fit his taste.
That's what couples do. They get to know each other's likes and taste slowly, complain when they dislike something and maybe fight out their differences before compromising and accommodating each other.
It increases the love between them and lets them have a clear understanding of each other.
Seungcheol on the other hand used to think that his only task was to keep her happy but he never realised....
Sara looked at Seungcheol drinking the chocolate milk she made distractedly. She lowered her eyes bitterly. How could she not realise that he doesn't like the chocolate milk she makes when his actions speaks more truthfully than his words.
Sara has the habit of observing every small detail related to Seungcheol. If you love someone you will be attentive towards any small reaction or behaviour of the person you love.
But Seungcheol never realised why the chocolate milk she made was sometimes too sweet or too bland instead of being consistently sweet or bland.
Sara sighed tiredly as she initiated to open up her feelings,
" At first when you accepted my proposal I thought you were moved by the efforts I put into pursuing you but later I realised soon that I was very wrong" Sara replied gloomily and bitterly.
" That day when you said that you treated me well, I felt stumped and guilty. Yeah it's true that you treated me well b-but" Sara paused before taking deep breath and saying,
" But you treating me well made it even more painful for me."
" When I realised that you don't love me I wanted to leave you but I couldn't because you treated me we-well...so well" Sara choked.
" It made me want you to love me back, it made me want to not leave you, it gave me hope that maybe one day I could make you fall in love with me" Sara trembled as if about to cry.
Seeing her like this Seungcheol wanted to go forward to comfort her but she looked at him and shook her head and rejected him.
" How did you get to know that I didn't love you?" Seungcheol asked while feeling painful.
Sara's eye lashes were wet due to being on the verge of crying as she looked at Seungcheol and said, " I found out when you introduced me to your friends. At that time I realised that you look at Jeonghan differently than your other friends"
"But at that time I thought I was thinking too much cause you both are best friends who have grown up with each other so the bond between you both must be indeed different from others. How naive of me!" Sara chuckled at herself mockingly before continuing.
" I was wrong and I realised that quite quickly."
"You might not be aware but you stare at Jeonghan a lot. You stare at him so intensely, the way you never ever even glanced at me" Sara said bitterly while looking at Seungcheol's eyes to convey the deeper meaning in her words.
Hearing this Seungcheol felt very surprised. No, actually that's an understatement cause he felt shocked. He looked at her with his mouth agape and asked, " So you knew that-"
" -that you are bisexual? Yeah I got to know that at the same time I got to know you have feelings for Jeonghan. Maybe it's because I myself am bi too due to which I didn't feel anything about you liking the same gender" Sara shrugged her shoulder nonchalantly.
While Seungcheol felt speechless after hearing her words but then he recalled Sara kissing a girl yesterday.
'That makes sense' he thought.
Actually it's also because her intuition is particularly strong so she got to know about Seungcheol's feelings very quickly. At that time she regretted having strong intuitions, she would have been blissfully together with Seungcheol for a long time if she was oblivious.
" Knowing about your feelings for Jeonghan made me feel paranoid because as I couldn't break up with you, I used to constantly feel a sense of crisis whenever you both were around each other. It made me want to constantly check on you, to constantly keep brushing my presence in your life so that you would always be reminded of how much I love you"
" I just wanted you to see my persistence and love me back the way I do." Sara whispered sadly as Seungcheol lowered his head with a heavy expression.
Sara really loved him a lot but he never understood. But then...
"Then why did you....?" Seungcheol looked up at Sara with confusion in his eyes.
As soon as Seungcheol said this Sara understood what he wanted to ask. His question was obviously pointing towards her kissing someone else.
He wanted to ask her why she was kissing someone if she loved him so much?
Thinking about it made Sara feel guilty as she replied to him, " Umm....the girl from that day was someone who has been pursuing me for a while now. I rejected her clearly from the start but she kept pursuing me persistently."
" She really does love me a lot, even when I treated her coldly she never gave up on me or stopped loving me" as Sara kept talking about that girl a soft smile adorned her lips.
Both Miji and her met because they are in the same faculty and have the same subjects and classes. At first Sara treated the girl harshly because she was blinded by her love for Seungcheol but as time went by, the warmth from Miji started melting her barriers. Especially because she wasn't getting as much love she wanted from Seungcheol so she started swaying.
Miji knew that she was in a relationship with someone but she knew that Sara wasn't happy in this relationship so she didn't hesitate while pursuing her. Now Sara actually felt glad that Miji didn't give up on pursuing her.
Sara already knows that the relationship between her and Seungcheol should have ended way earlier. It was like a nicely wrapped gift box with nothing inside. Both her and Seungcheol were trying to keep a happy facade because they had their own reasons to continue being in this relationship.
Now that the wrapping has been taken away, they can't deny that the box is empty and should be thrown in the trash can.
" Let's break up" Sara said with determination.
Seungcheol looked at her and sighed in his heart.
They talked with each other for a while longer before Seungcheol said his farewell to her. From now on they won't have anything to do with each other so they parted while wishing each other a good life while giving each other a relieved smile.
Seungcheol felt as if something heavy had been lifted from his heart so he felt lighter. Though he felt a little sad but this was the right thing to do.
As he stepped out of Sara's apartment and started walking he was suddenly pulled into another apartment and pinned to the wall.