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The heart that gives itself away
in exchange for the future—
perhaps that's only fair.
Maybe I've forgotten what love tastes like,
so I no longer see the need to keep it.
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Now I was sitting in a late-night bar with live music. The members of Wolves had gathered—Giyul, Juwon, Kangyu, and the one we could never leave out, our leader, Mr. K, Ji Sanghye. Everyone was drinking beer except me; I stuck with water, keeping up my D8 image in public. Still, it had been a while since we'd met, so I let them pour me one.
Clink! "Cheers! Tonight's special—Seokjin's actually drinking with us!" Sanghye whooped and filled my glass to the brim.
I downed it in one go. "It's nothing," I said, brushing it off.
Baek and Juwon raised their hands to the band. "Play As Time Goes By by Mire, please!"
"Yeah~ this one's a classic!" Kangyu shouted, clinking glasses again.
The lights blurred. Everything dimmed except for the flicker of the stage lamps. I felt my friends' arms around me, helping me down a narrow alley.
"Whoa, careful," I mumbled, shaking them off. "I can get home myself."
"You sure?" Sanghye asked, concern in his voice.
"Totally! Ninety-nine point one percent sure. I'm Mr. White! The one and only idol, baby!" I raised my hands in the air, laughing.
"Alright then," he said. "Take care, man." They waved as they disappeared into the night.
Separated again, huh? I thought. Good times never last long.
I walked alone through the dim alley toward the parking lot. The neon lights from nearby bars flickered across my face. The alcohol made the world tilt slightly. Looking up, I caught sight of the penthouse rooftop glowing faintly above the skyline.
"Have you forgotten your promise?" a voice echoed in my mind.
"No," I muttered. "From now on, I won't just be close to the top. I'll stand on it."
Thud! I tripped over a trash bin and hit the ground hard. "Ow—damn it!"
"I'll be cheering for you," the voice said again.
"Shut up. I don't need anyone's hands," I growled, brushing the dirt from my jacket.
"It hurts, doesn't it? Trying to hide your true feeling. Maybe a piece of shit like you shouldn't have been built to feel in the first place."
"Doesn't hurt one bit," I said, my tone firm. "For being number 1, I'll give up anything."
"I hope it's worth it, then... Mr. White."
I headed for the parking lot, humming a song I'd written long ago.
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Hey, just tell me this—when you left me to die in that hole,
did you ever turn around to see me claw my way up?
I was waiting... waiting for you to help me... just once...
Body aches, heart aches, from trusting you too much.
There won't be a second chance, my love.
You killed me that day — I've had enough.
Your voice still haunts me,
baby, make it stop…
We've got nothing left between us now,
so please… just make it stop…
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