By the time I stepped out of the washroom, steam still clung to my skin and a towel was wrapped around my head. I cautiously glanced around the room.
No sign of the pervert.
Good. Very good.
I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. Maybe he finally decided to stop tormenting me and disappear for a while. I had barely taken three steps when the door clicked open.
I turned, just in time to see him stroll in, carrying something in his hands.
"What's that?" I asked warily.
"Breakfast," he grinned, walking over to place it on the table. "Well, according to the contract, wife, you were supposed to cook for me, but…" He paused and gave me a look that basically screamed: See? I'm such a good husband. Come, praise me!
I stared at him blankly and rolled my eyes. Praise him for what? Stubbornly entering into her life?
Ignoring him, I picked up my blow dryer and started to dry my hair. Meanwhile, he went to freshen up. A few minutes later, he came back with damp hair, and I didn't even bother asking how he got another pair of clothes.
I was starving, so I quickly served the food. He sat down opposite me and we started eating.
We ate quietly for a while, but occasionally, I couldn't help but raise my head and glance at him. The way he held his chopsticks, his posture, his calm movements—all of it screamed "expensive upbringing."
This was not a man from an ordinary family.
"So, Su Ye," I said casually, "tell me more about yourself."
He looked up with a smile that told me he was about to be annoying on purpose. "Wife, what do you want to know?"
"Anything," I shrugged.
He nodded thoughtfully. "Alright. I'm 185 cm. My favorite color is black. I'm allergic to peanuts. I have a mole on my lower backside."
I choked on my porridge. "I don't want to know that!"
He tilted his head innocently. "You said anything!"
"I meant your family, your background, your situation... I want to know why you need a pretend wife? That kind of thing...."
"Oh," He nodded slowly and corrected, "But, wife, I didn't need a pretend wife, I needed a wife."
I ignored him.
He sighed dramatically, then explained, "My grandfather kicked me out of the company and house. Said I can't come back unless I find a wife."
I blinked. "That's it?"
"That's it."
"So now that you have a wife, you can go back to work in your company," I concluded.
"Exactly."
I clicked my tongue. "What a pity."
He paused. "A pity?"
"Because," I said seriously, "you're so good at acting, I was thinking of letting you take a few auditions."
Su Ye: "........"
I smirked. "What? You'd make a great drama king."
He just stared at me, speechless, and then went back to eating. I grinned, feeling good about my little victory of rendering him speechless.
"So, how rich are you?" I asked, curious.
He didn't even hesitate. "Rich enough to feed our nine generations without working."
I froze. Our?
Excuse me, sir— can you please remove me from your generational package plan?
Still, the realization sank in. He was actually rich. Extremely rich. But I had attended countless banquets in my past life, and I had never heard of any powerful "Su" family.
So, where did this walking mystery come from?
While I was deep in thought, he snapped his fingers lightly in front of my face. "Wife, what are you thinking?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but just then the doorbell rang, cutting me off. I paused and glanced at the door. He raised his brows, smiling mischievously, "Expecting someone, wife?"
"No," I pursed my lips and shook my head.
I stood up quickly and walked to the door, checking through the peephole out of habit. The second I saw who was outside, my soul almost escaped through my toes.
Yun Si?!
Of all people. Of all mornings. What was she doing here? Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. What do I do now?
I slowly turned my head toward the table. And there sat the problem, cheerfully chewing his breakfast like we were in a honeymoon commercial, looking all shiny and handsome.
Then I looked again at Yun Si waiting outside my door.
I internally screamed.
Dammit!!
Why was I so unlucky?! I wanted to cry, but no tears came out. If Yun Si saw a stranger in my living room, who was also my unwanted husband, she would bury me alive and then ask my body what this man was doing in my living room.
Without thinking, I spun around, rushed back like a soldier in crisis mode, and grabbed Su Ye by the arm. "Get up!" I hissed urgently.
He blinked at me, confused. "Hmm? Wife, what's wrong?"
WHAT'S WRONG??? Excuse me, there was a nuclear bomb on my doorstep named Yun Si.
"No time to explain, MOVE!" I yanked harder.
He looked at me, amused. "Wife, is this the part where you finally can't resist me and—"
"SHUT UP AND GET UP!" I glared.
The bell rang again, harder this time, like Yun Si was about to kick the door down. I turned back to Su Ye, only to find him sitting there with a tragic face, like a wrongly accused househusband in a soap opera.
"So this is my fate," he sighed dramatically. "A husband bullied into secrecy by his own wife. I should publish an autobiography— 'The Man My Wife Hid Like Illegal Luggage'."
I stared at him in disbelief. "This is not the time for your nonsense!"
His eyes widened further, looking grieved like a wounded puppy. "So I'm that embarrassing? You won't even introduce me? Am I your shameful secret?"
"............"
"Introduce you?!" I hissed. "If Yun Si sees you here, she'll kill us both and use our bones as decoration!"
Without warning, he grabbed my shoulders, looking deep into my eyes like he was ready to recite wedding vows. "Wife," he said solemnly, "I will live with you, and die for you."
I peeled his hands off with zero emotion. "You can go and die. I still want to live."
He looked at me like I had stabbed his fragile husband's heart. Ignoring his drama, I looked around frantically, my heart having a mini panic attack. Where was I supposed to hide this man?!
I looked at the balcony and shook my head. No! Too exposed.
Kitchen? Yun Si would definitely catch him right away.
Closet? Too small, unless I fold him like laundry.
Under the bed? No! The space was too small and this man was too big.
The doorbell kept ringing, each ring increasing my panic. "Oh no, oh no, oh no— where do I stuff you?!" I hissed, pacing frantically.
That's when I saw his face change. A sly smile that meant nothing good appeared on his handsome face. "I do know a place," he said smoothly.
I turned to him like a dying man spotting water. "Where?!"
He leaned in slightly, lips curving. "Kiss me," he murmured, "and I'll tell you."
"........." He said what?!
I stared at him.
He stared back, wiggling his eyebrows.
The bell rang again. And, I swear to God, at that moment, I genuinely considered committing a small murder.