Axis Cult Mayhem
Ruko knew something was wrong the moment Aqua woke up smiling too much. She sat straight up on her futon, hands on her hips, eyes sparkling like she had just won a private argument with reality.
"Today is gonna be great," Aqua said confidently. Kazuma, still half-asleep, groaned. "That's exactly what you said before we almost got arrested in Axel." "Ehh.. since when is that!" Ruko cut in. Megumin rubbed her eyes. "What's happening today?"
Aqua jumped to her feet. "I'm doing a full blessing tour! The Axis Church wants me to personally help with morale, faith strengthening, and water-related issues!" Kazuma slowly sat up. "That sounds like the start of several issues that don't want to get involve."
Darkness nodded seriously. "Or the public indecency."
Aqua ignored them and pointed dramatically toward the door. "Ok I'm moving out!" Ruko stood quietly, stretching his arms and checking his body. The pain was still there, but lighter than before. He could move without problems now. Recovery was working, just slowly.
He looked at Kazuma. "Since she assist we stay. If this goes bad , we leave." Kazuma sighed. "When this goes bad for sure." They followed Aqua into the streets of Arcanretia. The city was already awake and loud. Axis followers filled the roads, greeting each other, arguing about blessings, and singing songs that didn't have clear endings.
The moment Aqua appeared, everything escalated.
"LADY AQUA!"
"SHE'S REALLY HERE!"
"BLESS ME!"
"NO, BLESS ME FIRST!"
Aqua raised her hands proudly. "Everyone line up! No pushing! Faith requires order!" There was no order. Ruko stayed near the back with Kazuma, watching carefully. "This city has too much freedom and no control and i wanted to barf." Kazuma nodded. "Yeah. That's how scams start and you want to barf, well I'm not in your shoes."
A priest ran up, clearly nervous. "Lady Aqua! There's a small disagreement at the west plaza!" Aqua waved him off. "Disagreement?" The priest swallowed. "Two Axis groups are arguing about which prayer works better." Kazuma blinked. "Oh come on, you're fighting over prayers?" "Yes!"
Aqua clapped her hands. "Perfect! I'll fix it!" "That's not reassuring Aqua," Megumin said. They reached the west plaza and immediately saw the problem. Two large groups of Axis followers were yelling at each other.
"Our prayer cleanses sins faster!"
"No, ours brings better luck!"
"YOURS IS OUTDATED!"
Aqua stepped between them. "STOP!"
Everyone froze. She cleared her throat. "Both prayers work." The crowd went silent. Then—
"That's impossible!"
"She's testing our faith!"
"She's lying to make us weak!"
Ruko frowned. "This is getting bad fast. But i like the show hmhm." Kazuma grabbed Aqua's shoulder. "Say something smarter. Now." Aqua panicked. "Uh—believe harder?" Ruko cover his face with a quick slap. That was the wrong answer.
The crowd exploded into shouting. Some people started arguing louder. Others began chanting aggressively. Someone threw water. Someone else threw a chair, wait why is someone throwing a chair when there's no chair around.
Axis Cult Mayhem officially began. "WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING MORE?!" Aqua yelled. Kazuma dragged her back. "Because you made it worse!" Darkness stepped forward, trying to block people. "Please calm down!"
Someone shouted, "SHE LIKES IT!"
Darkness paused. "…That's not wrong."
Megumin prepared a spell. "Should I blow something up?" "NO!" Kazuma and Ruko said together. Ruko stepped in front of Megumin calmly. "No explosions in a crowded city. It'll cause a devastation of us and Aqua."
He raised his voice, loud but controlled. "Everyone shut up!" Surprisingly, some people actually listened. "You're fighting over prayers," Ruko continued. "That's stupid. If your faith is real, you wouldn't need to prove it by yelling."
A few cultists hesitated. Others got offended. "How dare you insult our belief!" Ruko didn't raise his voice. "I fucking didn't insult it. You're doing that yourselves you stupid assholes." Kazuma whispered, "Why does that sound reasonable and seriously the cursing?"
A senior Axis member stepped forward. "Then what do you suggest?" Ruko answered simply. "Stop arguing like gyals. Pray however you want. Let others do the same. If your belief only works when everyone agrees with you, it wasn't strong to begin with so get that in yours stupid skulls."
The plaza went quiet. Then someone clapped. Then another. Some people nodded. Others grumbled but backed off. Aqua stared at Ruko. "Why do they listen to you and not me?" Kazuma patted her shoulder. "Because you panic and you need to be confident enough."
Before the situation could settle fully, another priest ran in screaming. "PROBLEM AT THE EAST BATHS!"
Kazuma groaned. "Why are there multiple problems in just one day?" The priest pointed. "Men and women are arguing about shared bathing hours!"
Megumin turned slowly. "Shared…?" Kazuma froze. "NOPE. NOT DEALING WITH THAT IM OUTA HERE." Too late.
They arrived at the baths to complete chaos. Axis followers were arguing loudly, some trying to enter, others blocking them, all shouting about "freedom" and "fairness."
Aqua shouted, "Everyone deserves to bathe!" Kazuma shouted back, "THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE!" Ruko sighed and rubbed his forehead. "This city needs rules, like seriously rules to change their empty shell."
A nearby cultist gasped. "RULES?!" "Yes," Ruko said plainly. "Simple ones. Like schedules." The crowd looked confused. "Different times," he continued. "Men bathe. Women bathe. No fighting. No spying. And no fucking peeking either." Ruko stated. "But only me should look at the woman in the bathe though." His thoughts.
Kazuma stared at him. "You just solved it like a normal person." The cultists slowly murmured. "That… makes sense." "Yeah." "Why didn't we think of that?" Aqua crossed her arms. "This place is supposed to be free."
Ruko looked at her. "Freedom without limits turns into chaos. That's what's happening—which cause destruction."
Aqua opened her mouth, then closed it.
By nightfall, the city was calmer—but only slightly. Rumors spread fast.
"There's a strange guy with Lady Aqua." "He talks back to the Axis Church." "He makes sense."
Ruko sat on the lodging steps, exhausted but calm. Kazuma dropped beside him. "Congratulations. You accidentally became a problem for this city." Ruko shrugged. "I just said obvious things here and there. Nothing special."
Kazuma smirked. "That's dangerous here." Far away, at Arcanretia, something watched. Not reacting. Not interfering. Just observing. The Axis Cult Mayhem had begun.