I stood in the middle of the studio apartment for a long time after the door closed behind him. I don't even remember how I got to the bed. I only know my body lay down, but my mind… didn't shut off for a single second.
The kiss wouldn't leave me. The way he held me, the heat of his hand on my waist, the firmness that almost took the ground from under my feet — everything stayed on my skin as if it had happened a minute ago.
I tried to close my eyes, tried to breathe deeply, convince my body to rest, because tomorrow there would be class, routine, normal life…
But it was useless. My heart was beating far too fast for anything that resembled calm.
Then I heard the gate creak.
Was he going out again?
Like he always did, late at night. I never knew where he went… I never had the courage to ask either, but I'd always been intensely curious about what he did.So today…Today, there was no chance I'd sleep.
I grabbed a blanket, went to the couch, and put on any movie on TV — not to watch it, just to have some noise nearby.
I wrapped myself in the blanket and stayed there. I was going to wait, stay awake until I heard him come back. I wanted to know how long he stayed out.
The apartment was quiet, the lights low, the movie playing without my attention. And I waited… waited for him, for the creak of the gate, for any sign.
Maybe I wouldn't discover anything today…but the answer was starting now.
A little over an hour passed when the gate creaked again.My body reacted before my mind: I slipped out from under the blanket and went straight to the window.
But I stopped before touching the glass. I stayed in the shadows, just enough to see without being seen.
Rafael had just come through the gate. Hands in his pockets, the usual posture… calm on the outside, impossible to read on the inside.
He didn't go straight into the ground-floor house. Instead, he walked to the foot of the stairs that lead up to my studio.He stopped there… and looked up.
At my window.
My heart jumped straight into my throat. I couldn't let myself be seen, and he… he stood there, motionless, for long minutes.
As if he were deciding something. As if he were fighting an impulse.
I didn't move. I barely blinked.
Until, finally, he slowly turned away… and went into his place.
I stayed frozen there for a few more seconds. Only then did I go back to the couch. My heart was still pounding so fast it felt like it was mocking me.
— Great, Helena — I murmured, rubbing my face. — Keep this up and you'll never sleep again.
With no hope of rest, I pulled the blanket up to my chin, put something else random on TV, anything, and tried to convince my mind to shut down.
I woke up with my body sore and my head heavy. I got ready quickly, tied my hair in the most decent way possible, and went down the stairs.
As I descended, the landlord looked up.
— Good morning, Helena! — he said.
— Good morning! — I replied with an automatic smile.
I passed through the gate, adjusted my backpack strap on my shoulder, and took just a few steps…
Then I saw him.
Rafael.Leaning against the wall — the same wall as yesterday — arms crossed, hair still damp from the shower. The morning sun hit his face as if it had been programmed just for that.
And of course, the inevitable thought came, like a cruel alarm:
He went out last night after being with me… and came back more than an hour later.
A part of me screamed:Ask him now! He'll have to tell you sooner or later.
Just thinking about it turned my mind into chaos, full of possible scenarios — none of them sensible. What if he goes somewhere dangerous? What if he meets someone? What if he—
I was so trapped in those questions that I didn't notice the footsteps… didn't notice the shadow… didn't notice the way the air around me changed.
When I realized it, Rafael was already in front of me. His face inches from mine, pale skin lit by the morning light, that small, restrained, beautiful smile.
His gaze hit me in a way that silenced everything inside me… everything.
Suddenly, there was no chaos anymore. No night. No questions.
There was only him.
As if my world had snapped back into place the exact second I saw him up close.
— Good morning — he said, and my breath caught in my chest.
And in that moment, any theory about where he went every night…vanished as if it had never existed.