Words failed me.
My thoughts weren't much help either after I listened to the both of them relate how they waited for two days before I awoke.
I couldn't even imagine what those moments must've felt like.
Everything they've told me so far sounded surreal. The smoky eyes. The connection with the chased wolf. The thrashing. A skin like the scorching sun. But none of that scared them more as waiting.
I knew that the things I went through and saw, was nothing compared to all they had told me, yet I couldn't remember a single image. It was like a great hole had replaced where those things were. A chasm where everything I wanted and wished to remember lies at the bottom, far away from my reach.
The hate and anger between them had died away. Recounting my experience together had done it.
"Come on, let's give her space and time to process it all since she doesn't remember" Helen said gesturing towards Sarah who stood and they left.
Just alone, I tried once again to remember. Perhaps it was their presence that was stopping me from remembering, but nothing happened. No flicker, no voice, just silence.
Someone was tapping my arm and when I opened my eyes, it was Sarah. I had fallen asleep. She was with Helen and the doctor.
It was already morning. Warm lights spilled through the window behind my bed. I had slept from that late afternoon they left me to myself through the night. And it had been peaceful.
"Good morning Melrose, how are you feeling today?" The doctor asked, his voice soft and an infectious smile radiating his face.
"I'm doing alright, doctor" I managed between yawns.
"That's good, hope you won't mind if I run a few more tests to see if you are ready to go home. Your mom tells me you really have to get back to school"
I looked between Sarah and Helen, their faces were unreadable and I replied, "Oh, did she? How thoughtful of her, but don't you agree that's it's unwise for me to head back to school immediately? Anyways, what do I know, you are the expert, sure… sure, do your thing."
My eyes remained on them as the doctor repeated the same series of tests he ran on me, yesterday. They were avoiding my gaze and they shifted from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable under my scrutiny.
"Oh, there would be a lot of explaining to do" I echoed in my mind.
"Well, Miss Grove, you are as hale and hearty as a foetus in a womb without complications. How do you feel about going home and I recommend you stay home the rest of this week then next week, you can go back to school. How does that sound?"
I gave him a smile and a nod. My eyes still on other two in the room.
"Splendid, now Mrs Grove, do you mind accompanying me to my office, let's finalize her discharge."
" Of course, lead the way", Sarah answered exiting with him, Helen followed making a lame excuse of needing another cup of coffee.
I knew she was running. She didn't want to face me and I didn't blame her, with the look I've been giving them, she was right to be scared.
And let's just say, she knows firsthand how I get when a decision concerning me is made without me. I'm sure she hasn't forgotten about the rant I threw when she didn't tell me of the Jenkins' until they came to take me.
It had been on a Sunday after Helen, her kids(Sophie and Josh), Dave and I returned from church. We were having dessert of chocolate pie after a sumptuous meal of rice and chicken wings, when the doorbell rang. As the last child in the house and the one closest to the door, I rushed to get the door and that was when I saw the Jenkins' for the first time.
Mr Jenkins, he was in his early forties then with a sparse dark hair mixed with gray and brown eyes like fallen autumn leaves. He was tall and looked even taller then in his grey suit and tie the color of my teddy bear. Or maybe he seemed taller because I was short then.
He had his right hand draped on a shoulders of petite plump woman. Mrs Jenkins was beaming at me, her neck-length straight chestnut hair curtaining her face. She had dark eyes and lips always stretched in a smile.
"Good afternoon" I greeted them with lips also stretched in a smile and smeared with chocolate.
Mrs Jenkins waved, bent down, her dark eyes smiling at me and said,
" Well, hello adorable, are your parents home?" while wiping my lips with her lilies scented handkerchief.
Helen appeared behind me before I could respond, scooping me in her arms, she said to them,
"Oh Mr & Mrs Jenkins, what a pleasure, come on in."
They joined us at the table, complimenting the decor of the house and the cuteness of we-the kids. They were nice and I liked them, but I didn't know they were there for me.
We were told to go outside and play while the adults discussed my future. Josh pinched me and Sophie before running outside and we joined hot on his trail, and the question "Is that her?" echoing from behind me.
Around 5pm, Helen came to where we were and carried me. I was just three and they still treated me like a baby. She bathed me and dressed me like we were going somewhere. When I asked her, she tapped my nose and said,
"We are going to visit our guests the same way they visited us."
Thirty minutes later, we were standing on the plush green themed decor of the Jenkins living room. Helen sat with me on her lap while the Jenkins took the sofa before us.
I was given a plate of vanilla ice cream and had my eyes on Looney tunes playing on the TV.
"Mel dear" Helen called tickling me. When she was sure she had my attention, she continued,
"I want to ask you for a request, will you grant it?"
I feigned thinking for a while, then I replied,
" Um… yes, ask on. I will grant it".
"Good girl! Okay I want you to stay with my friends, the Jenkins for awhile…"
Patience has never been one of my strongest traits, "Are you leaving me? What of Sophie and Josh, will they be coming later or is it just me and how long will I be staying?" I queried, cutting her off.
The Jenkins left where they sat and came to my side, taking my hand Mrs Jenkins answered.
"Dearest, let's be honest with you, we want you to stay with us from now on. You can visit Sophie and Josh whenever you want. We will make sure you have everything you want, if you decide to stay."
I remember looking from one adult to another. I remember losing interest in the cartoon series. I remember staring hard at Helen, waiting for her to tell me that it's a joke, that it's a lie. But none of that happened.
Finally I asked Helen,
" I can go back today with you and come back later, can't I?"
I watched her swallow a lump in her throat. I watched her struggle with what to tell me. I watched her take my hands in hers. I watched her trace lazy circles in my palm and I watched her say the words that sealed my fate, not even meeting my eyes.
" I'm afraid Kiddo, but you have to stay today. Believe me, they are good people and they will take proper care of you, I pro…"
" What if I don't want to stay?!" I thundered.
"What if all I want is to stay with
you, Dave, Josh and Sophie forever? What if I don't ever want to leave?" I continued sniffling back my tears.
"I'm sorry Mel, but this is for your own good, please. I will come to check up on you from time to time." She squeezed my hands and left me there, tears spilling down my cheeks as the Jenkins held me.
The next morning, Dave brought over my belongings– my toys, my clothes except the box.
It took a week for me to say anything to the Jenkins. A month for me to smile at them. A year for me to start warming up to them, and a year and six months for me to love them.
As for Helen, it took 10 visits,
uncountable chocolate bars, sweets, and constant apologies for me to even speak to her again. It took so much more for me to forgive her and now she's about to pull the same shit again. Or has she pulled it already?