When the bullet hit, the sound was like a watermelon cracking open; that sound was naturally drowned out by the loud bang of the gun and the subsequent ringing in her ears. She opened her eyes and realized that she wasn't dead. What a relief. But when she looked where the gun was trained, she saw Elijah, forehead punctured, and gore splattered beneath his head. His brains were splattered in a small area around where his head rested, and blood was pooling, carrying tiny bits with it outwards. "Wh- hurk", Whinney stood up and felt she was about to throw up. Tears were running down her face. Apparently, crying and nearly hurling made her look funny to Aeshma, who was watching her with an amused smile. What the fuck was wrong with these people? Wasn't Elijah one of their best guys? If they killed their own just like that, she was done for, for sure. The golden chain felt less heavy now. "What did you do? Why did you do that? He wasn't dead yet! You coulda taken him to a hospital!". Hadn't he said he was disposable? Was this what he meant? He already knew they would kill him. "What did he do to deserve this?". Aeshma stood up and moved closer to her, "Take it easy, Honey, look".
Whinney looked down at Elijah's dead body. Her stomach made a somersault. A fly had landed on his jaw and was crawling around near his mouth. Nope, dead and gone for sure. She closed her eyes again; the guilt and confusion made her head spin. None of this felt real to her. She clenched her hands and hugged herself as if she were wrapping herself in an imaginary blanket. It did nothing to calm her down. Then she heard a loud crack, like a bone breaking. She opened one eye, like that would make her see only half of the horrible truth. When she saw the violent jerking contractions of Elijah's body, she gasped and almost fell backwards. His face made an ugly, pained grimace, and he let out a wheezing noise. The fly flew away. His chest rose like a balloon being inflated, and she heard several more muted snapping noises. He twisted and turned on his side, grasping at his right arm, the arm that she had bitten and broken. He grabbed his wrist and pulled at it, straightening it, then letting it go. After about half a minute of watching him writhing on the floor, he stilled, and Whinney stood there, mouth agape. She could hardly tell if she was still crying; she felt empty. Mot nudged Elijah with his matte black leather shoe. "Done?". Elijah turned his head, "Yeah, I need a shower. She's crazy". Whinney couldn't even form a thought, let alone react. Aeshma was standing beside her, excited, as if she had given her a present and was waiting for her to open it. "He's... fine?". "Yep! He's all better! Good work. You've got a ways to go until you're ready for assignment, but this was a perfect first session". "He's fine?". Elijha stood up, blood dripping from his hair, running down his face, mixing with the blood already staining his White T-shirt. "That's right! An unbreakable toy, and he's all yours". "Why didn't you tell me? I thought I killed him!". Mot looked over, "You did, that's the point. Never forget that feeling. You killed a man. You beat him to death, and you liked it. Never forget that". Whinney looked at Elijah, who was on his way out of the room, leaving a trail of bloody footprints on the blue training mats. Red on blue. She stood staring until Aeshma elbowed her softly on the side. "Now you get why I didn't tell you his thing. This made for a great learning moment". Whinney still felt empty, but the golden chain was feeling heavier again. "Go shower off, you stink, then we'll grab lunch". Whinney did as she was told.
She followed the trail of blood to a series of changing rooms and went inside one. It reminded her of yesterday, seeing the blood from her knuckles tinting the water pink. This time it was far worse; this time it wasn't her blood. Aeshma brought her a set of clean clothes and stood speaking to her as she dressed. Whinney didn't hear a word she said.
When Whinney and Aeshma arrived at the canteen, Mot was already seated, eating. Hundreds of people, all wearing identical suits, sat eating, speaking, laughing. She saw some people with strange additions to their uniforms. She saw a fat man wearing a golden tiara and several heavy golden necklaces. She laced a hand over her belly, feeling her own chain. One skinny woman had two metal rivets driven through her hands. "Are all these people agents?". "No, far from. Most are just deskjockies, only a few have what it takes". "Oh... what would it take for me to get from freelancer to agent?". Aeshma smiled at her. "Impossible, you're...", she booped her nose, "Ruined". "What? How?". "You're like a glass with gunk stuck at the bottom, gunk that no amount of washing will ever get rid of". Whinney thought that was a terrible metaphor; it explained nothing. They grabbed a tray and loaded it with food. Rice and chicken stir-fry. Aeshma filled her tray until the food was just about to fall from the tray. Whinney wasn't hungry at all, but took a little bit just because she hadn't eaten for... She didn't really know how long. They sat down with Mot, and right after, Elijah came in. He was wearing his white shirt and suit pants now. He skipped the food line and went straight to the coffee. He poured himself a cup and came to sit beside Mot. Mot looked at him without turning his head, "No food?". "Not hungry". Whinney looked at him. She felt incredibly guilty, and it was clear to her that he wasn't feeling great either. He looked like he'd seen a truck hit a puppy. "Hey, I'm really sorry about earlier, I really am". "Why? That was what we expected you to do, right?". "But, I hurt you!". "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry". She sat poaking at her food. "Sooo, you did well! You'll do even better next time! Nothing quells anger quite like guilt". Aeshma looked thrilled, shoveling food into her mouth like a pig. Mot looked sternly at Aeshma, "Not true. Listen, Whinney, remember what I said. You have to remember what it felt like to kill Elijah. That feeling, you've gotta channel that guilt into something productive. When you feel like you might lose it, channel that feeling into... pacifism or something". Mot looked at her seriously. "You want me to be a pacifist?". "No... only half pacifist. Ever read 1984? Doublethink. You can hurt people because you don't want to, if you want to hurt them, then don't". She hadn't read 1984, and had no idea what that was supposed to mean, but she was sure that made no sense. "Ok, I think I understand". She didn't. "Good, because your future depends on becoming useful to us".
Whinney looked over at Elijah. He'd lit a cigarette that he had hanging between his lips, looking down at his coffee. She couldn't tell for sure, but she thought his nose was a bit crooked in a way it hadn't been before. She looked at his hands and saw that his fingers were also slightly crooked, as if the bones hadn't set perfectly after having been broken. He noticed her looking and moved his hands beneath the table. She looked away. Suddenly, a man with a well-trimmed beard and a wide smile approached Elijah from the back. He crouched slightly as if sneaking and put his finger to his lips. When he was right behind Elija, he grabbed him and shook him while making a sort of "Whooh" sound. Elijah dropped his cigarette but didn't look at all startled to the groomed man's displeasure. "How're you doing, my friend? Well, I hope! New partner treating you well?". He spoke rapidly, barely leaving any room for a reply. "Hi Dolion, yeah, guess so". Dolion looked over at Whinney, "Hi! Dolion, pleasure. What's your name?" He reached out his hand to shake hers, and she shook it. When she did she felt something in his hand. He puched it into hers, like a drug deal. "Whinney". She looked at wat was in her hand and saw a wraped pice of choclate. Why had he given her that? "Whinney! Beautiful name! short for whinnafred? You got yourself a good one, that's for sure. You see, Elijah here used to be my partner and let me tell you...". "Whillheminia, not Whinnafred". "Huh? Oh! Great name! You see, Elijah here saved my sorry hide more times than I care to count". He laughed heartily, but something about it struck Whinney as exaggerated, not quite genuine. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Oh, the two of you will have a good time of it, I'm sure". "Sure, rough start though. I just killed him". Dolion looked shocked for a moment, then look of understanding replaced it, and then burst into laughter once again, precisely three laughs, like some sort of businessman Santa Claus. "Real shocker the first time you see it for yourself!" He clapped Elijah's shoulders. "No wonder you're sitting here pouting! Don't take it personally, Winnafred; he gets like this, but he'll be right back to his usual song and dance in a few hours! Take my word for it! You couldn't ask for a better partner!". Song and dance? Not the words she'd use to describe him, but sure. "Anyways! Hope is waiting for my return, so I'll leave you be, enjoy your meal!". He spun around and strutted off, back as straight as a pine tree, with a confident stride. Elijah looked after him as he left, then unwraped the choclate and ploped it in her mouth. Elijah waved goodbye, "See ya around". Mot pushed his tray to the side, then lit a cigarette of his own. Aeshma was far from done with her food, but saw Mot and made a little sound, then grabbed a pack of her own and handed it over to Whinney. She looked at it and shook her head, but Aeshma shoved it at her. She held her other hand over her mouth that was full of food and said, "I's yorsh, Imporded from shina". "Huh?". She chewed for a second, "China, yours, smoke 'em whenever you need a kick". Whinney grabbed the red package and looked at it for a moment before sticking it in her pocket. "Expensive, really nice", Aeshma assured.
The four of them sat there until Aeshma was done licking her tray clean, then she said, "Alright! Ready for round two?". "We're going again? No way!". "Yes way! You've gotta get yourself into shape, lazy ass, and we need that to happen quick". "But...". Elijah dropped his cigarette butt in his coffee cup and interrupted her, "Let's just get this over with". "Isn't there like a limit to how many times you can do that in a day or something? You can't just die and die over and over, can you?". "Far as I know, I can go all day. I want you to get good quickly so I won't have to spend weeks doing this, so let's get it over with". He stood up, and so did Mot. Aeshma squeezed her shoulder and ran her fingers through Whinney's hair. "We'll go until dinner, after that you're free for the day".
They fought for hours, every time Whinney got the snot beat out of her until she lost it, and every time it ended up with Whinney on top of Elijah's dead or dying body. She felt ill every time she came to and tasted blood in her mouth. Every time Mot had to finish Elijah off with a bullet, she felt her eyes tear up. During the last fight of the day, she was exhausted, and after a particularly painful punch to the throat, she once again felt herself give way to that red mist. The feeling of power was enthrawling. It made me forget the guilt, or rather, it made the guilt not matter right then and there. She didn't want to hurt him, but he couldn't stop herself. She knew that what she was doing was wrong, but the thrill she felt as she forced him to the ground and made him wince in pain, even cry out, made her whole body feel electric. And the greatest feeling of all, the pinnacle of her power over him, was when she bit him and got to taste his blood. He tried to stop her but couldn't, and she bit into his throat. She felt the skin with her tongue and bit down. Her chain felt heavy. First soft, flexible skin, then harder cartilage. She bit down harder. He made a choking sound, and she shoved a hand over his mouth. The chain felt hot. She bit him harder, and the skin broke. She felt his mouth moving under her hand, saliva, then blood. She bit down harder, and then it was as if her vision cleared. She didn't want this. What was she doing? She spat out the blood in her mouth and crawled off Elijah. He was gurgling, blood pouring thick and dark from both his mouth and throat. She looked away, disgusted by the blood and even more so by herself. The chain felt so incredibly heavy that she had to lie down on the floor. It was burning hot, stinging her skin like nettles. The door opened, and Aeshma and Mot came walking in. "That was quick. Good job, Bunny". "I...", she had to catch her breath, "I still killed him". "Sure, but just barely. If you'd caught yourself a few seconds earlier, you wouldn't have". Mot shot Elijah through the head, and soon the jerking and thrashing around began. Reincarnation was far from pleasant to watch. "I remember everything this time". "Oh, that's probably good. We're done for today, so go get changed. Dinner's in half an hour". She stood up and did as she was told.
In the shower, she washed her mouth out. She hated the taste of blood. She looked down at the chain around her waist. It was still hot to the touch. The water running over it seemed to have no cooling effect whatsoever. What good was this thing anyway? She decided she would ask Aeshma if she could just take it off. Worthless piece of junk. She closed her eyes, but all she could see in her mind's eye was Elija couching up blood. The sound of water pouring down the drain reminded her of Elijah gurgling, trying to breathe. Worthless piece of junk.