Sophia sat in silence, staring into nothing like her brain was buffering reality.
"Understandable," said the narrator. "We've all been there."
She was still processing the fact that she was babysitting the son of the richest merchant alive when the door opened.
Nyxar stepped in, expression unreadable.
Ember blinked. "Oh, you're back! Find anything?"
Nyxar: "A few corpses. And a survivor."
Everyone: "...A what?"
Nyxar tilted his head, looking over his shoulder. "Idk, he followed me home."
Then the ground trembled a little as a steel bear marched in — dragging a man by the scruff of his neck like a misbehaving toddler.
Sophia nearly screamed. Bug choked on his tea. Ember just sighed.
Nyxar shrugged. "He was in a ditch."
Belos's eyes widened. "Hey! That's Sebastian!"
Ember looked between them. "...Who's Sebastian?"
Belos, happily: "He's my butler!"
"Oh. Cool," Ember said, kneeling beside the poor man to check for wounds. After a moment she added, "Huh. No injuries. Just dirt. Guess the ditch was comfy."
Nyxar, completely unbothered, de-summoned the steel bear, then handed Belos another mini version.
Now the kid had two tiny steel bears. His joy was immeasurable; his chaos potential had doubled.
"God help us all," muttered the narrator.
Sebastian Awakens
A few minutes later, Sebastian groaned awake — immediately taking in the most confusing scene of his life:
A kind-looking woman watching him (Ember).
Another woman hyperventilating into her hands (Sophia).
Two floating... things sipping tea (Bug and Spirit).
And his young master, sitting on the floor playing with two bear plushies that occasionally blinked.
"Good morning," Ember greeted. "Welcome back to the land of the living."
Sebastian blinked. "...Where am I?"
"My house," Ember said simply. "Tea?"
Sebastian glanced around, spotted Belos, and his instincts kicked in. "Master! You're safe!"
Belos looked up from his plushies. "Yaa?"
Sebastian exhaled in relief. "Good. Now—what do we do about those assassins?"
Ember waved it off like someone talking about mosquitoes. "Oh, don't worry about those. They're dead."
Sebastian froze. "...What?"
Ember sipped her tea. "Yeah, two of them killed themselves for… reasons. The other four? Nyxar took care of it."
Sebastian blinked rapidly. "Took care of—how—"
Nyxar walked out of the kitchen just in time, wearing Ember's apron and carrying a tray of tea. "Tea," he said.
He placed it down and walked away without another word.
Ember took a sip. "Mmh, good. Delicious."
Sebastian hesitantly accepted a cup, tasted it, and gasped. "Oh gods, this is delicious. May I have the recipe?"
Ember laughed. "Good luck with that. He doesn't have a recipe. He just… uses pictures."
Sebastian blinked. "...Pictures?"
"Yeah." Ember shrugged. "Don't question it. He's… special."
"That's one way to put it," the narrator said. "Another would be: reality's favorite glitch."
Sophia took a long, calming sip of her own tea, visibly collecting the three remaining pieces of her sanity. Then she looked at Belos and Sebastian.
"So. What do we do about you two?"
Ember asked, "Can we send them home?"
Sophia shook her head. "They're merchants. They don't have a fixed home. They move with trade routes."
Sebastian nodded. "Indeed. We were traveling to a neighboring kingdom, and there were two routes — one safe, one dangerous. The Gold family took the dangerous one."
Bug snorted. "Oh yeah, that's working out great for everyone."
Sebastian sighed. "It seems our so-called safe route was anything but."
Ember leaned back. "So what now? We don't know where his parents are. Can't go to them. Can't call them. And if they're always moving…"
Sophia nodded grimly. "The only way would be to reach their destination before they do. But—"
Sebastian cut in. "We can travel alone, but… I don't think we'd survive another assassination attempt."
Sophia frowned, thinking. "I don't really—"
Ember interrupted. "We'll go with you."
Sophia and Sebastian, simultaneously: "WHAT?!"
Sophia gawked. "Absolutely not! You're too young to escort a merchant being hunted by assassins!"
Ember crossed her arms. "Why not? I can use four elements and summon Spirit."
Sophia raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? And when was the last time you used any of those elements?"
Ember went silent and looked away.
Sophia smirked. "That's what I thought."
Spirit crossed her arms. "Hey! I'm useful!"
Sophia didn't even look at her. "Sure. But we don't know how strong you are."
Spirit: "Rude."
Sophia turned back to Ember. "So tell me, what exactly guarantees this boy's safety?"
She pointed at Belos, who was now trying to stack his mini bears like pancakes.
Ember froze. Then, like divine inspiration hit her, she said, "Nyxar."
Nyxar, from the kitchen: "Ya?"
Ember jolted. "Oh! Nothing! Sorry! My bad!"
Nyxar nodded once and returned to silently existing like a domestic cryptid.
Bug leaned over, whispering with a smirk, " 'Good boy,' huh?"
Ember's face went red. "Shut up."
Bug and Spirit both exchanged the suspiciously smug roommate stare.
Sophia pinched the bridge of her nose. "Fine. Even if Nyxar comes… what makes you think he's strong enough?"
Ember, Spirit, and Bug all turned to her slowly, in unified judgment.
Sophia remembered the scene of six dismembered assassins and quickly corrected herself. "—I mean, strong enough to handle assassins, of course. Definitely."
Bug stretched, grinning. "Actually, not just him. Even the Deer could take one down."
Ember blinked. "The… Deer?"
Spirit frowned. "Wait, who's the weakest then?"
Bug raised his hand proudly. "Me."
Spirit nodded. "Yeah, that tracks."
"And that," said the narrator, "was the exact moment Sophia realized she was surrounded by lunatics — and the lunatics were somehow her best chance at survival."