The rain is pouring on the ground. I am standing at the bus stop. Why rain in this winter season? Ooo Shanghai, you are so unpredictable, just like me. It's a good thing, but Shanghai is learning something from Zhao Shiza.
"Hey, you silly girl, come with me," Xu Yuan said.
"Xu Yuan, aren't you going to your home in your usual car?" I asked him.
He came closer to me, stood beside me, and said, "Did you own this bus stand?"
"No," I said quietly, shocked.
"Then why are you asking like you just bought this bus stand and it belongs to you?" he said.
"Okay fine, stand here. But do you really know which route bus you want to go on?" I asked him.
"Stop being over-smart. What are you thinking in your little mind—that I never got into any bus in my whole life?" he asked while bending towards me.
"No, I mean you just shoot bus scenes, but I never thought a big actor like you would ever take a bus as transport to travel anywhere," I said while looking down at the ground because I couldn't make eye contact with him.
"Okay, but please wear your mask. Why do you always forget that you are a celebrity?" I said, still looking down.
"You are also a celebrity now," he said.
"Our dramas haven't been released yet, Xu Yuan, so I am still a normal common person," I said.
He took out his mask from his pocket, put it on his face, and said, "What do you think? My fans won't recognize me in a mask?" he asked.
"I know they still can recognize you, but at least not in a single glimpse. At least it will take some time," I said.
Then I slowly looked upward. The black mask on his face, his hair falling on his forehead, his usual cap on his head, his T-shirt layered with a shirt and a hoodie jacket, loose trousers, and his contagious eyes… oh God, I can't look at it. It's just like those eyes are telling me thousands of stories.
"What happened, silly one? Can't take your eyes off me?" he asked while slightly bending towards me.
I immediately shifted my gaze and started looking somewhere else.
"Xu Yuan, are you flirting with me?" I asked after gathering courage.
"Do you feel like that?" he asked.
I nodded a little. "Yes."
"Then I am flirting," he said casually, like it was his daily chore.
My mouth was half-open in shock. This sudden change in his behavior with me felt strange. I never thought he would behave like this. He was acting just like his lover-boy era in dramas. But this is real life, and in real life, he already has a beautiful girlfriend. I don't stand anywhere in his life.
He pinched my cheek with one finger and touched my right cheek mole.
"Hey, do you have a mole here? I didn't notice it before. It looks cute on you, like a little ant is here," he laughed lightly.
Then the bus arrived. I got into the bus, and he followed me. The bus door shut. We were both inside.
I turned around and said, "Xu Yuan, I am going to my dormitory. Why did you get into this bus? You need to take another route bus."
He smiled inside his mask—I could see it through his eyes—and said close to my ear, "My destination is wherever your destination is."
I smiled back and said, "Okay then, first take admission in Shanghai University and get into the boys' dormitory, will you?"
"If that makes me stay close to you, then I definitely will," he said.
I touched his forehead with one hand and mine with the other.
"What are you doing, silly one?" he asked.
"Nothing. Just checking if you have a fever or not," I said.
He held my hand, made me sit on the seat, and then sat beside me.
"Xu Yuan," I said.
"What?" he asked.
I didn't say anything. I looked outside the window and opened it slightly. Tiny droplets of rain started touching my face. I felt relaxed, like for this moment I forgot myself, my life, who I am, and what's going on. I was just feeling the rain.
Suddenly Xu Yuan shut the window.
"Are you mad? You'll catch a cold in winter," he said.
I forced a smile. "It has nothing to do with you," I said, opened the window again, and put my face outside.
I completely pissed him off.
He exhaled sharply. "Why are you so stubborn? Can't you listen to someone who is saying this for your own good?"
I tilted my head slightly. "This is how Zhao Shiza is. And if you have so much problem with me, then you can get out at the next stop," I said, and again put my face near the window.
"If you are Zhao Shiza, then I am also Xu Yuan," he said to himself. It didn't reach my ears.
He closed the window again, and before I could open it, he held both my hands strongly with one hand.
"Xu Yuan, what are you doing? Why are you behaving like I am a kid?" I said while struggling.
"Yes, you are a stubborn kid. First stop behaving like that, then I'll change my way of treating you," he said.
"Your grip is so strong. Xu Yuan, please… can't you let me enjoy my life in my own way?" I said.
He closed his eyes for a second. I was getting on his nerves.
"Is enjoying life for you getting drenched in rain? Then I am not allowing it," he said.
"We are just in a working relationship. You can't control my life. Leave it," I said.
"Again you've started, hm?" He paused. "Fine. If this is how you understand, then I'll make you understand this way. Answer me this first."
"What?" I asked.
He paused, like his words would shatter everything.
"Do you… do you have feelings for me?"
My eyes widened. My Mr. heart stopped for a second. Still, crossing my fingers, I lied.
"Stop assuming things on your own, Xu Yuan. I know you are a super handsome actor in the whole Chinese drama industry. Every girl falls for you. But don't count me in that. I am not your fan at all. Come out of your bubble."
I looked outside the window. After saying this rubbish, I couldn't even face myself—how could I face Xu Yuan?
But he noticed the crossed fingers.
He smiled lightly inside his mask. His grip tightened.
"You pretty liar," he thought. "You lied again. But I caught you this time."
He smirked.
"Lie as much as you want. But I am Xu Yuan. I will make you confess your love for me yourself."
I was unaware of everything going on in his mind. I kept watching the rain to erase my pain, like always. I stopped struggling. I knew no matter how much I tried, he wouldn't let go—at least not while it was raining.
The bus moved smoothly through the roads of Shanghai. Evening settled in, and lights turned on everywhere—shops, restaurants, streets.
Winter is so beautiful in Shanghai. I will definitely visit Shanghai every winter after completing my course, with māma, bàba, and Xin Xin. I hope one day I can also visit Shenzhen. I've never been there. We don't even have relatives there. But I hope I will—because it's the city where my Xu Yuan was born and studied.
Lost in these thoughts, I disappeared into the city lights of Shanghai, staring through the glass window…