Chapter 6
A few days had passed since that fateful day. Jay was plagued by nightmares of Saikopasu and the death of his mother.
While asleep, he dreamt of her death, waking up in terror and crying. During these days, he preferred to stay alone—he didn't want anyone near him, even those close. For Jay, being alone was the safest option.
If I stay alone, I won't hurt anyone… I won't disappoint anyone. After all, I am disappointment itself.
A familiar voice comforted him, offering a warm and comforting hug.
"Everything's fine… really. You're not a disappointment. You make me proud, my future husband."
Seeing her, Jay blushed. She was stunning, with white hair framed by a purple aura that obscured her true appearance. She kissed his cheek and lay on his bed, beckoning him to join. He obeyed and laid down beside her.
She's always been here for me… even in my worst moments. Does she really care about me? …It doesn't matter.
Jay hugged her, and she hugged him back, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.
"I will always be with you, no matter what, my sweet Jay," she said softly.
The comfort helped Jay drift into sleep. She closed her eyes, sleeping alongside him.
Meanwhile, Jay wandered in a dark and cold place, stepping on snow while breathing heavily. His hand pressed tightly against his chest. Suddenly, he heard something break beneath him—a skull.
Startled, he fell into the ground, plunging into darkness. Voices echoed around him, hands brushing his body, grabbing his shoulders and feet. One hand clasped his neck.
Then, Saikopasu's voice appeared, laughing and trying to tear a limb from him. A soldier taunted him, asking why he had killed him.
"Why? Why? Why did you take me from my family? Why did you kill me?"
Jay was overwhelmed, unable to bear it. Suddenly, Runa, his former love, appeared, delivering her last words:
"You are the worst! How could you do this? Look at what you've done… You're a monster. Never appear before me again. Goodbye!"
Gabriel knelt, crying in a mixture of sorrow and rage, punching the wall until his knuckles bled.
Jay cried, apologizing for everything he had done, but it was useless. He continued to fall into darkness. He began to lose feeling in his body; Saikopasu tore at his shoulder, but he felt no pain.
"Jay." A familiar voice called his name. He didn't know who it was at first. The voice came again, stronger this time, forcing him awake.
He looked to the side and saw his family, all worried.
"Jay, are you alright?" Mary asked anxiously.
Jay remained silent.
"Tell me… why are you crying?" She placed her hand on his face. "Tell me, Jay… you're making me more worried."
Forcing a smile, Jay replied,"It's nothing… I just had a nightmare."
Damn… I can't even look at her.
"Jay, be honest. I know you're going through a tough time, but let us help you. Share your burden with us," Poul said, hoping his son would agree.
Do I deserve this? This family that loves me… this happiness… do I deserve it? Jay thought, eyes filled with doubt and sadness.
"I… I don't… I'm not sure," Jay said.
Poul, frustrated but concerned, walked toward him."Stop ignoring your family and friends. You're pushing us away because you're afraid to face reality after what happened. Stand up, face it like a man, and share your burdens with your father. I failed to protect you. I am a failure as a parent, I admit that. But at least trust us, son."
No… he's a great father. I'm the failure—father, husband, boyfriend, son, friend… a murderer. I broke my family's code, hurt people, killed two… How can I deserve this happiness?
Jay felt happiness for having them, yet sadness for being unworthy. I want to stop crying!
"I trust and love you all. I'll try to overcome this… but sometimes I'll need to be alone, like now," Jay said, forcing a smile that mixed happiness and sadness.
Poul gritted his teeth, clenched his fist, and left with Mary and Luis. Kyrai stubbornly stayed, choosing to be with Jay. She sat down, teasing him, and he responded in kind.
"You're such a little sister, always giving me trouble.""Huh! You sound like an old man!"
Jay laughed genuinely. Kyrai began to cry tears of joy.
"What's wrong, Kyrai? Did I do something?" Jay asked worriedly.
"I thought I had lost my brother forever… but you're back, Jay. I'm so glad you're okay."
Jay hugged his former friend, now sister, warmly."I'm back, Kyrai.""Welcome back, brother."
I need to protect my little sister… I won't give up on life. Maybe I can redeem myself for my sins, Jay thought softly.
They spent the morning talking and catching up until Noa and her parents arrived. Noa's parents apologized to Jay for not returning him home, admitting their irresponsibility.
"Do you forgive us, Jay?" her father asked."Yes, I forgive you," Jay replied with a smile.
Noa handed Jay a book, hitting him lightly on the head."Here, you idiot! Because of your kidnapping, I couldn't read the new volume of The Beginning. So I got it for you.""Ah, you little punk! When I get out, we're going to compete.""I accept your challenge."
Everything feels normal again, Kyrai thought, smiling.
They spent the afternoon together. Meanwhile, Poul was at his office doing paperwork when two royal knights knocked on the door.
"Good evening, Captain Poul. May we enter?""Of course, come in."
The knights sat down."I have a question first.""Yes… what is it, Captain Poul?""Shouldn't you be protecting His Majesty?""Yes, but he is visiting his son and our holy Saint.""The new Saint is here in the forest city?!" Poul asked in surprise.
The knight nodded."And why did they come to see my son?" Poul asked, guessing the reason."You are a hero who defeated an elemental giant. Then your son was kidnapped. The King wanted to see him, and the Saint came to bestow her blessing."
Poul, surprised, asked,"So what is it that you want to discuss?""We came to inform you of an impending war. This battle will be crucial for our continent. If we lose, all cities except those near the capital may fall."
"Where will this battle take place?" Poul asked."In the City of Hell, the Wall City. It will be one of the largest wars between humans and giants. You could even die in this battle, Hyou Poul. Do you understand?"
Poul stood, hand on his head in respect, and replied,"Yes, Royal Knight."
The knights left, and Poul watched them go.It seems I'm heading to my hometown.
Meanwhile, the Saint navigated the crowd to reach Jay's room.Why must I go through this? I'm only ten and already treated like the most important person in the world. I just want to be loved for who I am, not my status.
She reached the room. Jay was reading the new volume of The Beginning, crying. He looked up at her and said,"Tb is peak. What a work, my friends."
The Saint was confused. Jay glanced at his friend sleeping beside his sister.
"Who… who are you?" she asked.
She composed herself, introducing herself with a hand on her chest. Her ruby-red eyes and white hair made Jay's heart race."I am Saint Clarice. I came to see how Captain Poul's son is. By my observation, you're fine."
An elf… white hair, red eyes… this was supposed to happen when I was older! Damn, I can't try to pursue her now, I'd feel weird…
"I am Hyou Jay. Pleasure to meet you, Saint Clarice," he said with false confidence."Pleasure to meet you too, Jay," she replied, smiling.
I feel comfortable around him…
"May I read this with you?" she asked. Jay happily agreed, seeing her as a normal girl, ignoring her status.
"Of course, sit here. There are some lazy ones sleeping over there."
Blushing slightly, she sat, and they read together. The Royal Knight closed the door, ensuring no one disturbed them until the King arrived.
"Tell me, what does 'is peak' mean?" she asked."It means peak," Jay explained, eyes closed, smiling."Indeed, it is peak," said Saint Clarice.
Jay looked surprised—few shared his taste, except his friends and Runa.
"You really have good taste. I'll be discharged soon; when I get out, I want to buy books. Want to come, Saint Clarice?" Jay offered."Does that mean we're friends?" she asked, eyes fixed on him.
Jay chuckled softly."Of course, we're friends from the moment you sat on the bed."
Instead of holding his hand, she hugged him."Yes! I'll buy books with you!" she said excitedly. Jay hugged her back.
At that romantic moment, the door opened. King Valerius Adelio and Poul entered, discussing the upcoming war.
"Poul, why didn't you tell me your son was such a charmer from a young age?" asked the King."Your Majesty… I didn't know either," Poul replied.
Jay, embarrassed by the misunderstanding, said,"N-no, it's not what it looks like."
Saint Clarice released Jay and led the King to another room, blushing.
Poul was happy his son had made a decision. Jay looked at his friends asleep, then whispered:"I think I deserve a bit of this happiness… I will protect them. I promise."
A soldier's voice echoed, "Why… why did you kill me?" Despite Jay claiming he deserved happiness, his past acts haunted him.
Later, Poul, the King, and Saint returned. Kyrai and Noa were talking with Jay. Poul stopped Saint from telling Jay about his discharge, wishing to deliver the news personally and leave the kids alone.
"What is it, Father?" Jay asked."Two things. First, you've been discharged… and second…" Poul sighed, looking at Jay."Jay, I will participate in another war."
"What?!" Jay stared in shock.