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Chapter 29 - "The Lazy Hero, and the Meteorite"

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Saitama pushed open the door, looking unusually lively.

"Hey, Saitama," Ethan called out cheerfully. "If you're heading out on a mission, be careful, okay? Don't let your hemorrhoids act up again!"

"Shut up!" Saitama's face instantly darkened, and the cheerful energy he'd had a second ago vanished as he roared back at Ethan.

A few minutes later, he was trudging down the street, his spirits already back to their usual lifeless level. The sunlight was warm, spilling over his shoulders like a soft blanket.

"Now, where's that maid café again?" Ethan muttered to himself, looking around. "I'm pretty sure it's somewhere around here. Can't believe this messed-up world still has maid cafés… Hah, I've lived over twenty years and never seen a real one before. Only ever in anime! Well, guess it's time to see the real deal!"

He kept glancing left and right until his eyes lit up. "Ah! Found it! It really is a maid café!"

He rushed inside.

The moment he pushed open the door, a cute girl in a maid outfit came running up with a sugary smile. "Welcome home, Master!"

Ethan felt every bone in his body go soft.

He had no idea what he ordered after that—just that he spent a ridiculous amount of money. When he came back to his senses, he was already walking out of the café, wallet significantly lighter.

"Yep… that was a real maid café, alright! Guess it's a sign—I need to find myself a maid again!" He clenched his fist in sudden determination. "Damn that bald Saitama! If he hadn't killed my last maid, I'd already have one! Fine then, time for maid number two!"

He didn't even feel bad about the money he'd blown. In fact, the experience just strengthened his resolve. It'd been a long time since his last "Find a Maid" mission at the House of Evolution. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten such an important goal for so long.

He'd considered recruiting one of the maids from the café just now, but those girls were actual soft, squishy humans—cute, yes, but way too fragile. One bad day and they'd be dead. Ethan wasn't looking for that kind of maid.

"Hm? What's that?"

He suddenly looked up. A huge meteorite was streaking through the sky, blazing as it fell—right toward Z-City.

"You've gotta be kidding me… A meteorite? And it's heading this way?!"

He could feel it clearly—the impact point was exactly where he was standing. No, to be precise, the meteorite was aiming for him.

"What a pain," Ethan sighed, scratching his head. "It's just a meteorite. Sure, it's big, but if I wanted to knock it away, it'd be easy. Maybe I'll wait a bit though… If it gets closer, I won't have to fly as far."

So he just stood there lazily, staring up at the falling rock as it drew closer and closer.

While Ethan looked like he didn't have a care in the world, the rest of the world definitely did. The Hero Association had detected the meteorite and confirmed it would hit soon, and chaos broke out.

Evacuation orders were issued for all of Z-City, but there wasn't enough time. People panicked, shouting and running through the streets.

"Hmm…" Ethan glanced at the sky, then at his watch. "Still a few dozen minutes before it hits, huh? Perfect. Time for a nap."

He yawned, stretched, and lay down right there to sleep.

Meanwhile, the Hero Association and countless heroes were scrambling. The public was in full-blown panic. Even Saitama didn't care—he was off in A-City doing his weekly "must-complete" hero tasks.

Z-City, on the other hand, was total chaos. Sirens, shouting, explosions, people fleeing in every direction. The only ones who could actually fix the problem didn't seem to care—especially Ethan, who'd literally fallen asleep waiting for the meteorite to get closer.

Genos and several other heroes raced toward Z-City, determined to stop the impact. But even the top-ranked S-Class heroes were struggling. The meteorite was too massive, too dense, too fast.

Then—

BOOM!

A thunderous explosion jolted Ethan awake. He opened his eyes just in time to see a volley of missiles hit the meteorite, blowing off only a few tiny fragments.

"So noisy," he grumbled. "What the hell are you idiots doing? Ever heard of not disturbing someone's nap?"

Annoyed, he picked up a small rock and flicked it toward the noise.

Thud!

The pebble shot through the air and punched a massive hole straight through a robot made of high-grade alloys—an S-Class combat unit built by Metal Knight himself.

Genos had been coordinating with Metal Knight to attack the meteorite when Ethan's pebble instantly disabled the robot. Luckily, there hadn't been a pilot inside—otherwise, it wouldn't just be the robot that was wrecked.

"Mr. Ethan?!" Genos's eyes lit up. "That's you! Perfect! Have you seen where Master Saitama went? If it's him, he can definitely destroy that meteorite! I know he can!"

"Saitama?" Ethan rubbed his chin with a sly grin. "Oh yeah, I know the truth."

"The… truth? What truth? Don't tell me—Master Saitama, he—"

"He went to A-City to see a doctor," Ethan said solemnly. "Heard there's a famous specialist for… hemorrhoids over there."

Genos blinked, speechless. "…A specialist?"

"Anyway," Genos continued after a moment, "Master Saitama once said that you're very powerful too! Mr. Ethan, if you've stayed behind in Z-City, it must mean you have a way to stop this, right? You do have a plan, don't you?"

He looked at Ethan with burning hope.

Ethan yawned and stretched his arms. "A plan? Sure. But first… I really need to finish that nap."

"..."

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