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"Hey, look—it's the bald guy and the cyborg!"
"Yeah! It really is them!"
"They're shopping together?! Oh my god, don't tell me they're actually… together?"
"Ahhh! I can't take it, this is too exciting!"
"Bald guy! Step away from the cyborg right now!"
"Cyborg, listen—relationships between men never work out. You should just leave that pervy bald dude already!"
"Shut up! What do you even know? Hetero love is just about reproduction—true love is between men!"
"Yeah! Yeah! Be together! Be together! Be together!"
"Be together! Be together! Be together!"
Genos and Saitama stood frozen in place as a mob of girls surrounded them. The crowd was a strange mix—some were teenage girls, others women in their twenties or thirties, and even a few middle-aged ladies. But they all had the same look in their eyes—an intense, almost burning enthusiasm.
"Sensei," Genos asked uneasily, "what… exactly are they talking about?"
Saitama scratched his head. "No idea. But something about this feels… weird."
"I agree. My body temperature has dropped three degrees since they started staring."
They both shifted awkwardly as the crowd's excited whispers continued. Lately, every time they went out together, it was like this—women following them, eyes sparkling, chanting bizarre things that made absolutely no sense.
As they tried to walk away, one girl stepped forward. Her face was bright red, and she took a deep breath before approaching them as if she'd just gathered every ounce of courage she had.
"Um… excuse me…"
Saitama blinked. "Huh? What is it?"
"I—I'm a huge fan of the Bald Guy and the Cyborg manga! I even drew my own fan comic—here!" She held out a small, glossy booklet. "Could you… maybe… sign it for me?"
Saitama and Genos glanced down—and their faces immediately darkened.
Because on the cover, the two of them were very clearly not wearing any clothes.😰
Now, they both knew that Ethan's original manga had always seemed a little suggestive, but it had never actually crossed any lines. So they hadn't really taken it seriously.
But this… this girl had apparently decided to fill in everything the original left out—and went way beyond.
And now that they saw the cover, everything suddenly clicked into place.
"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" Saitama snatched the book out of her hands and tore it into shreds.
"Ah! D-don't you like it?" she stammered, eyes welling up. "B-but—"
"No 'but's! Who in their right mind would like something like this?!" Saitama yelled, practically foaming at the mouth.
"But—but lots of people do! It sold out! Over a hundred thousand copies were printed, and they're all gone! Everyone around the world loves it!"
Her words hit them like a punch to the gut.
"One… hundred… thousand… copies?!" Saitama's face drained of color.
"Sensei," Genos said gravely, "our top priority is to track down every copy and destroy them immediately."
"Right! We'll start now!" Saitama shouted, already storming off. "We're finding every last one and burning them all!"
But even for two heroes with ridiculous power, trying to stop the spread of that kind of fanfiction was impossible.
The Bald Guy and the Cyborg doujin exploded in popularity across the entire world. Everywhere they went, people stared at them with strange, knowing eyes. Some pointed and whispered. Others—mostly fujoshi—rushed up asking for autographs or selfies.
Ironically, the two of them had never been this famous even as heroes. All it took was one damn fan comic.
"AAAAH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" Saitama screamed. "DAMN IT, ETHAN! COME OUT! COME OUT AND FACE ME! I SWEAR I WON'T KILL YOU—WELL, NOT TOO HARD! YOU HEAR ME, YOU BASTARD?!"😡
Even the usually stoic Genos was seething. "Unforgivable… Even Dr. Kuseno offered to 'upgrade' my body into a female model after reading it. This is beyond evil."
Meanwhile, somewhere far, far away…
"Man, maybe I overdid it this time," Ethan muttered, lounging on a tropical beach. "Better lay low for a while. If Saitama and Genos find me, I'm toast."
He stretched lazily, smiling at the scenery. "Still, can't complain—sun, sand, and beautiful women. If only there weren't so many monsters around…"
A shadow loomed nearby. Without even looking, he casually crushed the creature's skull between his fingers.
"Ah, much better."
"..."
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