Bob is washing his hands—for the ninth time in a short span.
After scrubbing, he brings his index finger to his nose, sniffs carefully, and groans, "Why does it still smell? This finger's gotta go—might as well chop it off!"
"Hahaha!" Luke bursts out laughing at Bob's dramatics.
"It's all your fault!" Bob gripes. "It was already in, but you made me push it in further!"
"I didn't need to tell you—you should've known to get it in deeper for the medicine to work faster. Depp's your buddy; saving his life means he'll owe you forever," Luke replies.
"Yeah, or he'll just be pissed off and embarrassed," Bob mutters.
"The anti-allergy meds are kicking in—Depp's swelling is going down," Director Verbinski says, standing by Depp's side.
"Come on, let's get Depp to the car and head to the hospital in Phuket," Bob says.
"Put his pants on first! What's this look?" Luke says, shaking his head.
"Why's it always me stuck with this stuff? Ugh, fine!" Bob grumbles but dutifully pulls Depp's pants back on.
Together, Luke and Bob hoist Depp into the car and speed toward the dock.
…
…
By the time Depp reaches the hospital in Phuket, the poisoning and allergic reaction have already subsided.
But just to be safe, they admit him for observation.
He's kept in for two days to make sure there are no surprise complications or lingering effects.
While the nurses handle his medical care, his daily needs are tended to by his "newlywed" wife.
The Thai woman's care is impeccable—bringing tea, serving food, wiping him down, the works.
Depp's thrilled with the service, so much so that he happily offers to double her "rent-a-wife" fee.
But his hospital stay sparks a small controversy.
Back at the Phi Phi Island hotel, the production had booked the place out, and the filming location was locked down, keeping Depp's rent-a-wife arrangement under wraps from the media.
But in Phuket, with his Thai companion openly by his side in the hospital room, the news breaks fast.
Depp's already a well-known Hollywood actor, and after the massive success of Pirates of the Caribbean, he's a red-hot celebrity.
Gossip about him is pure gold for the tabloids.
Someone—maybe a hospital worker, a paparazzo, or even the woman herself—leaks the story. It doesn't matter who; the damage is done. The headlines start rolling in:
"Girlfriend or Rent-a-Wife? The Woman by Depp's Side"
"Hollywood Star Playing the Rent-a-Wife Game in Thailand?"
"A Twist of Humanity or a Fall of Morals?"
"He Actually Paid for Services? I'm Kinda Impressed!"
The media dives into the gossip from every angle.
They start with the rent-a-wife phenomenon, move on to the lavish lives of older white guys in Thailand, and then marvel at how a Hollywood heartthrob doesn't just hook up with adoring fans but actually pays for companionship.
The topic lights a fire under curious audiences across the West, and the internet explodes with chatter.
Man-woman drama has been the juiciest gossip for centuries, no matter the race, region, or age group—everyone's hooked.
At first, Director Verbinski thinks it's not such a bad thing.
A little scandal could boost the movie's visibility—like free advertising.
He even feels a bit smug, thinking it's a silver lining.
But gossip like this is a wildfire—hard to control and quick to spread.
In no time, the conversation shifts from Depp alone to the entire film crew. The media, always eager for chaos, digs deeper:
"Why Only Rent-a-Wives and No Rent-a-Husbands? We Must Fight the Male Gaze!"
"When Will Men Learn to Think Beyond Their Pants?"
"Rent-a-Wife Just a Depp Thing? Beware the Flood of Cases!"
"Is the Whole Crew Morally Bankrupt? The Ugliness of Men!"
"Luke Caught Up in Rent-a-Wife Scandal? Has Even He Fallen?"
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When the chatter engulfs the whole crew and drags Luke into it, the story blows up even more.
More onlookers pile in, flooding the internet with their takes:
"Talk crap about Depp all you want—he's always been a playboy. But leave Luke out of it!"
"Luke's a guy, isn't he? Every man makes this mistake!"
"Luke needs to rent a wife? I'm a woman, and let me tell you, if it's Luke, I'd do it for free—no, I'd pay him!"
"I'm a guy, but I'd do the same—free, no charge, I'd bankrupt myself for him!"
"That's gross! Can you not?"
"What, you got a problem with minorities? I may have a man's body, but can't I have a girl's heart?"
"This is off-topic! Is it really weird for a guy like Luke to have a few women?"
"Exactly! Luke should date more! It's practically his duty as a hot guy to give more women those sweet memories!"
With Luke's fame, once this topic takes off, it's not dying down anytime soon. Where this media storm is headed is anyone's guess.
Meanwhile, Luke visits Depp in his Phuket hospital room.
"You look fine to me. Come back to Phi Phi Island tomorrow and get back to filming," Luke says, seeing Depp's lively demeanor and knowing he's milking the break.
"Alright, alright. Can't stall too long. I'll check out tomorrow and head back with you," Depp says, caving quickly. He's still a bit intimidated by Luke.
"You made the headlines," Luke points out.
"They barely mentioned my hospital stay and went straight to trashing me!" Depp complains.
"Trashing you?"
"Isn't it?"
Under Luke's skeptical glare, Depp sighs. "Okay, fine. My rep's always been lousy—black as coal. I'm not scared of the media's dirt."
"But you? I'm sensing the wind's blowing the wrong way," Depp says, handing over a newspaper.
God knows where he got a copy of the Chicago Post in Phuket.
The front-page headline screams:
"Hypocrite? Luke Caught in Rent-a-Wife Scandal"