I found myself coming back here again—SXXX park, the bench in the far corner where you can see the most beautiful side of the lake with no disruption, as not many knew of this place. Day after day, my feet led me here again and again after work without missing a single one, as this heart of mine just refuse to give up.
Every day, I have this seemingly impossible wish for him to be there, even when I already know in my heart that only disappointment awaits me at my destination. Yesterday was no different, nor was the day before yesterday. It has remained that way for this past year, and today won't be any different either.
I still dragged my feet there with my soul, my expectations burning away at the stake just to remind myself that we are really over. Every time I step into this place, it's unforgettable, unbelievable scenery and surreal beauty never fails to amaze me. This place breaks me with all the memories of that time I have no way of going back to but it also soothes me softly with those brightest moments of my youth.
The lake sparkling beautifully in the sunset, little drops of rainwater dropping off the leaves, the bench where we used to sit and admire the scenery, and the umbrella he always brought—huh? His umbrella? Why is it here?
I picked up the umbrella anxiously—it was no doubt his. The umbrella he used to treasure like gold, as it was the only thing his father left behind after his parents got divorced and lost all contact with him. I searched for him frantically as soon as this hit me; desperately, I just wanted to see his face, I wanted to ask if he had been well. However, no matter how much I looked, there were no more traces of him here.
As if to laugh at me and my struggle, rain started pouring heavily, and I, with nowhere to turn to, sat on the bench alone with water dripping from his old umbrella. The rain, the place, the smell—everything reminded me of that day. It reminded me of the harsh words we spoke to each other and how he walked away without giving a single glance back. The day we broke up and went different ways was no different from today—a day the sky cried with me and hid my tears.
Just then, a note tucked inside the umbrella fell into my lap. I trembled, scared to see what was inside. I mustered up my courage after a while and opened the note, just for it to say: "I came back today, hoping you'd be here. Guess you were right—I never learned how to stay."
Idiot.
I couldn't help but laugh through my tears as it started to rain more heavily. Was it the pain or my stupidity for someone like this? I didn't know what to laugh at and what to cry for anymore...