Was this really strength a human could possess?
Feixiao had braced herself for Kiana's next strike, but after that second blow, the girl once again froze in place.
Something wasn't right.
Feixiao had seen many battles, yet after receiving one of Kiana's blows and seeing her fail to follow up—just standing there in that strange stillness—she didn't act rashly in response.
"...Go..."
A faint whisper slipped from Kiana's lips, barely audible—as though it took everything she had to utter that single word.
Go?
Feixiao frowned. Yet before she could question it, Kiana's attack came again. The blade's fierce edge descended toward her, carrying raw, unrestrained force rather than any hint of technique.
Feixiao, well aware of Kiana's overwhelming physical power, had no intention of clashing head-on. When brute strength failed, skill prevailed.
"Did you just tell me to leave?"
Deflecting each of Kiana's blows, Feixiao relied on hard-won experience—she had fought in countless battles, and no mere show of strength could best her.
Recognizing her opponent's advantage, Feixiao shifted her fighting style, balancing the exchange to buy time and coax words from her.
The more Kiana panicked, the harder it became for her to reclaim control of her own body. That helplessness—being unable to move her limbs as she willed—stoked a furious rage within her.
Yet the angrier she became, the more her resistance spiraled out of control. No matter how fiercely she struggled, she could not seize back full command of her body.
Because this body was given to me by the Honkai.
So that's why, time after time, in the most extreme moments, I lose control—becoming nothing more than a tool that can only watch but not act?!
"...Go, I..."
To steal another's control of their own body—what kind of sick joke was that?
Was there no end to this?
Again and again!
As her consciousness wrestled against the invading impulse, her body opened countless vulnerabilities. Feixiao hesitated—should she strike now while the girl was defenseless?
"You're losing control, aren't you?"
Those words cut through the storm in Kiana's mind. Her fury wavered, replaced for a fleeting moment by a spark of awareness. That faint crack of joy dulled the haze clouding her senses—and her body stopped moving.
"Calm down, Kiana. Breathe. Calm..."
A delicate, familiar voice reached her consciousness. For a heartbeat, Kiana froze.
That voice—Sakura?
Yes, from the Stigmata.
"I don't know what's happening, but don't let anger consume you. Staying calm—holding firm to your heart—is what matters most right now."
Feixiao, watching her carefully, saw the stillness persist and decided to take the chance to speak. "Right. I haven't introduced myself. I'm Feixiao, Vanquishing General of the Xianzhou Yaoqing."
Vanquishing General Feixiao?!
The wild surge of rage and frenzy slowly ebbed away. Hearing the fox-eared woman identify herself as the Vanquishing General, Kiana's attention shifted completely.
Back when she first started playing, the game's lore had mentioned generals of the Xianzhou—but before she'd crossed worlds, she'd only ever seen Jing Yuan's likeness.
"So you've heard of me?"
"...Alliance Arbiter-General. I've heard the name."
The blade in her hand scattered into motes of light and vanished. The emotions that had been raging within her abruptly stilled, leaving her exhausted and lightheaded.
When reason returned and control of her body finally came back to her, her muscles slackened—she nearly stumbled.
"Looks like you've calmed down."
Feixiao relaxed a little as well. She didn't fear battle, but she wasn't looking to stir up more chaos at this critical juncture.
"...Thank you."
Feixiao waved off the gratitude lightly. "No need. If anything, I should be thanking you. You've done Yaoqing a great service—without you, we might have lost far more soldiers in this war."
"...Without you, I wouldn't have realized I was already out of control."
"Then I came just in time, didn't I?" Feixiao grinned. "Tell you what—once I've cleaned up the battlefield, let's grab a meal together. We can properly thank each other then. How's that sound?"
Properly thank each other?
That...
Kiana shook her head, pressing her temple, her mind still hazy. "Whatever you say, General."
"Don't push yourself anymore. Rest here."
Seeing Kiana's pale face and weary posture, Feixiao suggested gently, "Leave the stragglers to me. I can handle them alone."
"...Alright."
Feixiao nodded and left decisively. "Wait here. I'll come find you later."
To her, this unknown Emanator who had just barely pulled back from the brink of losing control was dangerous—but the Cloud Knights still locked in combat needed her more urgently.
She had to crush the remaining resistance of these Abominations first. Only then could she spare the time to handle Kiana's situation.
The battlefield offered no clean ground to rest on, but Kiana found a spot that was relatively less tainted and sat down.
Raising a hand, she formed an ice mirror before her and looked into it—at those golden eyes that glowed coldly, stripped of all emotion.
She crushed the mirror in her hand.
Covering her eyes with her left hand, the emotions that had only just subsided began to surge up again.
Clenching her teeth, she muttered bitterly, "What am I supposed to be like this? A puppet?!"
She had endured the feeling of being powerless countless times—truly powerless, unable even to control her own body.
Was it because she was a Herrscher?
Or because, as someone who crossed over from another world, this body was a gift granted to her by the Honkai?
Or perhaps...
"...If not for Izumo, you wouldn't have become like this."
That faint voice echoed again from the depths of her mind.
The words drew Kiana back from her despair just enough to respond softly, "No... this has nothing to do with Izumo."
"But this never happened to you before."
Yae Sakura's gentle voice came again.
Kiana fell silent.
Yes—her loss of control had first occurred when she forced herself beyond her limits, initiating Herrscher of Finality transformation before the progress bar had reached completion.
Since then, her permanent progress had frozen at fifty percent—never advancing again. In exchange, she no longer needed to push the bar at all; she could enter the Herrscher of Finality state at any time.
She lowered her gaze to her hands. "So it's because I forced my Herrscher transformation...?"
But how could she push that permanent progress bar further now?
Not just that—the other functions of the system had all stagnated as well, showing no signs of change.
Everything had halted the moment she forced her Herrscher awakening—and when Izumo, which should have been completely consumed by the Honkai, was instead trapped in limbo by the interference of Nihility.
Izumo was already a dead star.
After tasting the bitterness of failure—activating the system in a desperate bid to save Izumo and failing—Kiana had stopped caring about what the Honkai could offer her.
She no longer sought to evolve through it.
Even when she discovered lingering Stigmata on Izumo, her first thought had been to bring them to Ruan Mei for examination—not to rely on the system, not to rely on the Honkai.
Deep down, she had always feared the Honkai.
She was wary of it—yet too weak to abandon its power entirely.
"Kiana, come see me."
Yae Sakura's voice reached her once more, carrying gentle warmth—an invitation to return to the Stigmata world and meet her again.
The Stigmata World.
Here, the scenery was utterly unlike the outer world—no trace of war, no scent of blood. The peace that filled this place soothed the turmoil in her heart, if only slightly.
"Kiana."
Within the Frost Shrine.
It looked nearly identical to the first time she had come here, though perhaps because fate itself had vanished, the world appeared brighter than before.
A beautiful woman with cherry-colored hair stood waiting at the shrine's entrance. When she saw Kiana truly step into the Stigmata World again, a soft smile bloomed across her face as she approached.
"Sakura."
Seeing her friend, Kiana managed a faint smile. Glancing around and noticing no one else nearby, she asked, trying to sound more energetic, "Where's your sister?"
Yae Sakura shook her head. "She's in the courtyard. And... what we're going to discuss isn't something she should hear."
It was better not to let the people born of the Stigmata World know too much about the outside.
Kiana fell silent for a moment before forcing herself to speak. "...You must've been worried sick. I didn't respond to your voice at all for so long."
Was Sakura's voice really only reaching her today? Surely not. It must've started back when she first began acting abnormally—Sakura had already tried to call out to her.
But she hadn't noticed.
Only after realizing she'd lost control again did she finally hear Sakura's voice.
The problem, without question, was her.
"I'm fine," Sakura replied gently. "But what about you?"
Her eyes held clear concern. "Are you alright? What exactly happened out there?"
"I'm fine now... but when did things start going wrong?"
Kiana frowned, genuinely unsure.
Sakura's eyes widened slightly in surprise. Looking at her friend's heavy expression, she began piecing the clues together. "After you started fighting them, I kept trying to call you. You seemed to fall into a strange state... almost as if you were intoxicated by the act of killing."
She stopped there.
That was not normal.
Because Kiana was not someone who relished battle. Of that, Sakura was certain.
Kiana was not that kind of person.
"From the beginning?!"
Kiana's expression darkened, her face clouding as she instinctively gripped her wrist.
So she wasn't immune after all.
She might not die—but she wasn't completely untouched by Honkai energy either. Before its influence, she was no different from anyone else.
"At first, you entered that frenzied state of slaughter... but later, you lost control of your body entirely, didn't you?"
Standing at her side, Sakura could see everything clearly. As an observer bound to Kiana, she understood what had happened to her in those days even better than Kiana herself.
Kiana hesitated, not knowing how to explain it. "It must've been the Honkai's influence. The concentration over Izumo is... too high."
Because of the Honkai, then?
Sakura nodded slowly—then shook her head again, uncertainty flickering in her eyes. She seemed to wrestle with something, unsure whether she should speak.
Even so, Kiana noticed the subtle change in her expression. Realizing that Sakura had more to say but was holding back, she asked softly, "What is it?"
"It probably is the Honkai's influence, but... how should I put this, Kiana—"
Sakura paused for a long moment before saying, "I might know the reason."
"What?"
Kiana's head shot up, her eyes widening in disbelief.
Sakura's words shocked her so deeply she could hardly process them.
She knew the reason?
Even Kiana herself couldn't be sure of the cause...
"This is only my guess," Sakura said quietly. "But hear me out. You know I've experienced countless cycles in this Stigmata World. After so many resets, I've come to understand this power—at least, a little."
"What did you find?"
Sakura hesitated. The truth she was about to speak wasn't pleasant.
Kiana waited in silence. When Sakura still didn't speak, merely watching her with conflicted eyes, Kiana grew restless. "Don't hold back—just say it!"
"...Then, should I say it?"
"Go ahead."
"This is only my speculation," Sakura warned softly. "Whether it's true or not—you'll have to judge for yourself."
"I understand."
"You lack a true belief of your own."
Yae Sakura took a deep breath and continued, "You don't even know why you're doing what you do."
I don't have a true belief of my own?
And I don't know why I'm doing this?
Kiana hesitated, her expression shadowed. "...That's not quite right. I think my beliefs are firm."
"You mean—finding Raiden Mei?"
"And Izumo," Kiana replied seriously. "No matter what, I'll make up for my past mistakes."
Sakura closed her eyes for a moment, then sighed. "I won't comment on your intentions."
She knew no matter what she said, Kiana wouldn't change her mind. And truthfully, Kiana's resolve in that regard was indeed unwavering.
"But that's not what I meant."
What she wanted to ask was not about the object of Kiana's determination, but the reason behind her use of this power—the belief guiding why she chose to wield it.
"...Then what do you mean?"
Sakura decided to be blunt. If she didn't say it clearly, Kiana might never notice what she'd been overlooking.
Opening her eyes, she fixed her gaze on Kiana and asked solemnly, "Kiana, why do you use the power of the Honkai?"
Why does she use the Honkai's power?
Why?
For what reason?
Because she had no choice.
Lowering her eyes, she murmured, "I don't have a choice."
This power—capable of bringing endless disaster even as it served her—was a double-edged sword.
She had always... always...
No choice?
Sakura froze. Of all the possible answers, she hadn't expected that.
And in that instant, the root of the problem became clear.
When Kiana uttered the words "no choice," Sakura immediately understood the cause of her condition.
"So you're resisting it?"
"Resisting...?"
Kiana wanted to say no—after all, she had made her decision long ago. But was that truly the case?
Resting her right hand against her chest, feeling her heartbeat beneath her palm, she whispered, "Maybe."
How could she not resist it? This power that could drag entire worlds into the abyss with a single careless use—how could anyone fully accept it?
She thought of the planet she stood upon now.
What if her reckless use of the Honkai's power would spread ruin wherever she went—like the Denizens of Abundance or the Antimatter Legion—turning every world into another Izumo, another hell?
"That's the crux of it."
"It's not even about conviction anymore," Sakura said quietly. "You reject your power at the core—you don't trust it. Or rather... you don't trust yourself."
"How could you possibly not lose control like that?"
Someone who couldn't even trust the very power that sustained them—how could they ever truly master it?
And besides, Honkai energy was no ordinary force. By its very nature, it distorted both reality and the mind.