"That's how it is."
In the hospital room, Kiana explained why she was here and how she had gotten involved.
It wasn't something that needed to be kept secret.
Being honest would help future communication. Her ship had been damaged beyond repair, and the only way back now was to use the Xianzhou as a relay station.
So she had followed Feixiao.
Because without Feixiao, and without her ship, she might drift alone for who knew how long before finding anyone else.
But...
That pink-haired, narrow-eyed fox.
Even if she was just a medic, she was definitely no ordinary medic.
"The Borisin have always been cunning and cruel. It's no surprise they'd do something like this. But I doubt they ever imagined their whim would have them kicking an iron wall."
"Perhaps."
Kiana wasn't in the mood to chat much.
"There are fresh bandages here. Would you like to change them?"
Feixiao, ever careful, stayed close to her—close enough to act if Kiana suddenly lost control.
Kiana looked at the dirty bandages on her hand, then accepted the fresh ones Feixiao offered. "Thank you."
"No need to thank me."
Feixiao glanced at the medic, then said to Kiana, "Are you sure you don't want to come to Yaoqing with us for a bit?"
"I've already been delayed for several days. If I stay any longer, my friend will worry."
Would Ruan Mei really worry?
Kiana didn't know—but whether she would or not didn't matter. Using Ruan Mei as an excuse was convenient enough.
After spending time together, Kiana had seen through Feixiao's intentions. The Vanquishing General's enthusiasm stemmed from a simple desire—to spar with her.
That...
She really didn't believe her current self, stripped of the Honkai's power, could match a Xianzhou general in combat.
And not just any general—Feixiao, Vanquishing General of the Yaoqing, famed for her unparalleled martial prowess.
Feixiao seemed a little disappointed, but since Kiana had urgent business, she couldn't insist she stay just to "experience Yaoqing's culture."
"If you really don't have time, then so be it. I'll have a star skiff prepared... wait, your eyes?"
"My eyes?"
Seeing Feixiao's surprised expression, Kiana reached up and touched her eyes.
"Your iris color changed."
"Blue?"
Feixiao nodded. "Yes, blue."
Kiana let out a small sigh of relief. Seeing their puzzled looks, she explained, "That's my natural color. The gold you saw before... means I'm losing control of my power."
"I heard from the General that your condition's severe—that you stay conscious but can't control your body?" asked the fox medic named Jiaoqiu.
"...It's not an illness."
Something about this medic felt probing, like he was studying her words—but Kiana didn't mind much.
It was natural.
After all, this was Yaoqing's territory.
If they weren't cautious, that would be strange.
"My situation's a little special. It's what happens when I can't properly control my strength."
Jiaoqiu cast Feixiao a subtle glance, for some reason reminded of the Moon Madness that haunted her.
"Can't control your own power?"
He recalled Kiana mentioning she was a Self-Annihilator—someone walking the Path of Nihility.
"You can't find meaning in your existence?"
Kiana looked at him in surprise.
That shouldn't be right.
If one walked Nihility yet lacked even a sense of purpose, how could she still seem so composed?
Jiaoqiu was indeed observing her.
He said nothing about Feixiao's reckless decision to bring her here, but that didn't mean he could afford to let his guard down.
"Do you have faith?"
"...Faith?"
"Yes. Find your own faith—and then follow it unwaveringly."
Feixiao added, "Maybe it's Nihility's influence that makes you overthink."
Someone powerful must also have a strong heart.
Kiana had the strength, but not the steadiness—and that made her seem lost. Feixiao thought it was due to Nihility's touch.
"The General has a point."
Kiana sighed softly. She knew this truth all too well. "Someone else has told me the same thing before."
"If you don't mind, why not share your thoughts? Jiaoqiu is a medic—perhaps he can help you."
At Feixiao's words, Kiana looked at the fox-eared man beside her in mild surprise. "You're also a therapist now?"
"Only a little familiar with the subject."
Not truly an expert—just... well, not entirely clueless anymore.
Kiana really did want to hear someone else's perspective. And since she was in someone else's territory, revealing a bit of information to ease their concerns wasn't a bad idea either.
"...Power itself has no right or wrong, but in using it, I bring unimaginable disasters to those around me. How am I supposed to face that?"
Nihility?
"Perhaps you don't need to think too much about it," Jiaoqiu said, half amused. "You already said it yourself—power itself isn't right or wrong."
Kiana lowered her gaze. She couldn't exactly explain the nature of the Honkai, so she simply said, "But it can hurt others."
She must have been afraid of losing control again—afraid of hurting innocent people.
Feixiao thought of their previous fight and said, "Then conquer it."
"Con—conquer it? How could I possibly..."
Conquer the Honkai?
Was that even something she could do?
"Yes. If you don't want to hurt anyone, then learn to adapt to it—tame it, control it, make it your strength instead of your burden!"
"That's impossible."
"Why not?"
Feixiao spoke as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "If you don't even believe in yourself, of course it'll be impossible. But if you're certain you can—believe me, you'll find the answer that satisfies you."
Kiana didn't know what to say.
"You have to move with your own will, not be dragged along by your destiny. Those who let the Path carry them away will eventually be devoured by it—becoming nothing more than its puppet."
Similar words. The same truth.
"Do you have something you must do?"
"...Yes."
"Then make that your drive—your goal. On the road ahead, treat mastering your power as an essential step you must take."
"...You seem like someone who overthinks things," Jiaoqiu suddenly remarked, then asked, "Have you heard of General Feixiao's nickname—the 'Three-Without General'?"
"Three-Without General?" Kiana blinked. Feixiao? Three withouts? What's that supposed to mean?
"Without fear, without regret—therefore invincible."
Feixiao smiled. "That's me—the Three-Without General."
"Without fear, without regret, therefore invincible?"
Kiana trailed off, staring at Feixiao in surprise. For someone to truly live without fear or regret... that indeed would make them invincible.
"If you don't know where to start changing, try learning from the General's 'three withouts.' Once you can live without fear and regret, your condition will already be mostly cured."
He wasn't a therapist—but when it came to this kind of struggle, Jiaoqiu knew exactly how to advise her.
In the blink of an eye, more than half a month had passed.
When Kiana returned aboard her ship to the remote planet tucked away at the edge of the universe, far from any established route, it felt almost like stepping into another lifetime.
Memories of this place came flooding back.
For a moment, she found herself nostalgic for those earlier days, even though they weren't all that long ago—just a few months.
"So that's why people say ignorance is bliss, huh?" she muttered wryly, mocking her own state of mind.
Her brief encounter with the Yaoqing had, at the very least, left her with a few valuable insights.
As she looked at the familiar scenery and let the memories trickle in, her heart gradually calmed.
This was the place she had stayed the longest. She hadn't even spent a full year on Izumo before it had turned into what it was now.
But here—
Here, she had over a year's worth of memories.
Not all of them pleasant ones, of course.
"I'll be waiting for you at the usual place."
The sudden voice came from a flower climbing up a nearby tree, though it didn't startle Kiana at all.
Most of the flora and fauna on this planet had been studied and modified by Ruan Mei. This "communication flower" that could transmit voices was only one of her countless minor inventions.
She truly had the power to turn the impossible from fairy tales into reality.
"Mm, I'll be right there."
The thought of seeing Ruan Mei again—after so long apart—made Kiana quicken her pace.
The "usual place" Ruan Mei referred to wasn't anything mysterious; it was simply the laboratory where she spent most of her time.
Kiana remembered it clearly.
Half an hour later, after walking the familiar route, she arrived. She held access to most of the facility, so there was almost nowhere here she couldn't go freely.
Ruan Mei wasn't in the middle of an experiment. Though she was in the lab, she was currently sitting in the adjoining room outside—a small space set up for short breaks, with seating and a low table for tea.
The combination of theatrical singing and classical music drifted softly from an old, well-worn radio.
Ruan Mei sat there, head lowered in thought.
Unlike her usual relaxed moments, she wasn't lost in the melody—she was thinking deeply.
"Ruan~!"
It wasn't until a voice she knew very well called out that she finally snapped out of her thoughts.
Seeing Ruan Mei again, Kiana couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips. After so long apart, seeing a familiar face filled her with genuine joy.
"I'm back! It's been a while—did you miss me?"
In this familiar setting, she moved with easy confidence, almost like a clingy little animal, cheerfully pressing close to Ruan Mei's side.
Honestly, if she hadn't lost her memories before, she probably wouldn't have dared to act so boldly.
For one simple reason—she would've overthought it.
Ruan Mei's nature was calm, detached even. Or perhaps, as a true genius, the traces of human warmth within her were... limited.
When one stands at such heights, their perspective—what they see and think—naturally drifts far from ordinary human concerns.
But Kiana? She was never afraid of cold shoulders.
As long as she wasn't outright rejected, she'd keep pushing her luck—that was her nature, memory or not.
And Ruan Mei never explicitly rejected her.
Because Kiana was useful.
The scientist being hugged didn't frown or push her away. First, because she was used to it; second, because she never did anything pointless.
"It hasn't been that long. We saw each other recently on Kasbelina-VIII."
"You said it yourself—recently!" Kiana grinned, teasing, her voice light and sweet. "Come on, tell me—did you miss me or not?"
Ruan Mei studied her expression, her fingers tracing the curve of Kiana's cheek as she replied evenly, "Without you here, some parts of my research got stuck."
For several days now.
Without Kiana's assistance, her study of the Honkai had reached a bottleneck. Progress stalled, and she'd felt an uncharacteristic sense of restlessness and irritation.
But now, with Kiana standing here again in her lab, those faint traces of agitation vanished completely—as if they had never existed at all.
As Ruan Mei's fingertips brushed against Kiana's soft skin, a faint look of confusion appeared on her delicate face.
Her gaze grew more focused.
She repeated her examination—and received the same result as before.
"You're harboring a new consciousness inside you?"
She found out that quickly?
Kiana loosened her hold on Ruan Mei, stepping back slightly with a wry smile. "You really are something else. You figured it out instantly."
Ruan Mei considered the sensation she had just detected. "Honkai? A friend's consciousness?"
A dreamlike world resembling a memory.
It didn't surprise her much—but she was curious why Kiana would do such a thing.
The Honkai energy within Kiana was far more active than it had been back on Kasbelina-VIII. In fact, it now seemed to be steadily suppressing the power of Nihility itself.
And yet, Kiana appeared perfectly fine.
...No, not quite.
Ruan Mei finally noticed the bandages on her hand. With a hint of suspicion, she reached out and gently pulled Kiana's hand closer to inspect it. Kiana didn't resist—she knew it was pointless to try hiding anything from Ruan Mei.
The marks had faded considerably, though faint traces still lingered.
Ruan Mei's fingertips hovered over one of them. A dim violet glow pulsed faintly beneath the skin—barely visible, yet her brows furrowed deeply.
"Ruan, do you have Honkai resistance now?"
Kiana hadn't stopped her in time, but it didn't seem like the energy had affected Ruan Mei at all.
"It's not difficult," Ruan Mei said calmly, lowering Kiana's hand. Her tone turned serious. "These are traces left by Honkai corrosion. But why would something like this appear on you?"
She had been researching the Honkai for a long time. After recently obtaining Honkai creatures as experimental material, her studies had grown increasingly complex—and dangerous.
Naturally, the first step had been building up resistance.
And where had that resistance come from?
From Kiana, of course.
Ruan Mei had witnessed it firsthand—Kiana's blood, her power, her resistance and control over the Honkai.
That was why Ruan Mei couldn't understand.
Why would Kiana's body, so resistant to Honkai energy, bear these scars?
"The Honkai concentration on Izumo was too high," Kiana sighed. "If I'd gone slowly, it might've been fine—but Izumo and everything outside it... are like two completely different worlds."
"Izumo?"
"It's the place I told you about before—the one I've been searching for."
Kiana scratched her head, explaining, "When I went to Euphorion, that's what I was looking for—Izumo. It's near IX, shrouded in the shadow of Nihility. But the Honkai there is rewriting the planet's very rules..."
"Honkai energy has the property of eroding and assimilating other forms of power. The force of Nihility is no exception. So the two have been locked in a deadlock there—corroding, assimilating each other—and the Honkai energy just keeps growing stronger."
Ruan Mei's curiosity was instantly piqued.
Hearing such a fascinating situation, she couldn't help but feel intrigued. If she'd known that was where Kiana's destination had been, perhaps she would have taken the time to accompany her herself.