The dim light from Luca's bedside lamp illuminated his darkened features as he laid half-propped against the headboard, one hand behind his head, the other holding a folded piece of paper he'd found under his keyboard in the studio after cleaning up. He sighed, flicking it between his fingers to unfold it.
"The wires hum with ghosts of what we were…" He murmured one of the lyric lines left behind by Elaine Wolf. He ran a hand over his face, exhaling as he held it there, peering through his fingers at the ceiling. Fuck.
Two light taps sounded from his door, and he slowly lifted his hand off his face. "It's open."
The door cracked open, and Lucian slid inside, dressed in a loose hoodie and sweatpants with his hair still damp from showering. He gently nudged the door closed, walking to the footboard of the bed. "You're still up, huh? I thought maybe you'd be able to sleep the second we got home."
Luca's gaze flicked to the page in his hand, folding it closed with a sigh. "Couldn't."
"Thought so." Lucian crossed his arms, leaning on the wooden post of the frame. "Rehearsal went fine, though. She kept up better than most do their first time being thrown into it."
"Yeah. She did." Luca nodded absentmindedly.
Lucian frowned, watching Luca fidget with the folded paper in his hand. "...That from her?"
Luca blinked, glancing up before looking back at the page. "I found it on the desk after she left." He hesitated, then leaned forward, handing it over.
Lucian took it, sitting down next to him as he unfolded it carefully. He scanned the page quietly before nodding slowly. "Damn."
"I think she wrote them while we were rehearsing," Luca murmured, "She wrote that she thought Mutiny was missing something."
Lucian gave a subtle nod, his thumb tracing the small note written at the bottom. "Missing a voice." He glanced at Luca, "That's… yeah." He lifted his hand to rest on Luca's shoulder, "That's her telling you something, you know that, right?"
Luca turned his head away, avoiding eye contact. "I don't know what she means."
"Sure you do." Lucian smiled faintly, lightly squeezing his shoulder. "You just don't want to be the one to say it first."
"Lucian, it's not…" Luca brushed his hand off and leaned back against the headboard, "It's not that simple." He glanced towards a framed picture of himself with the rest of the band. "I left the spotlight… She's not… She's not in the band. She doesn't understand… She's just…"
Lucian's jaw tightened for a brief moment before he stood and sat right next to Luca. "Hey, look at me."
Luca closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly. "I'm fine."
"I didn't say you weren't." Lucian laid a hand on his head, "Just breathe for a second, alright?"
Luca let out a shaky exhale, opening his eyes to meet the storm-gray gaze. "Yeah… sorry."
"Don't apologize." Lucian sighed, ruffling Luca's silver hair with his palm. "You've been wound tight since we got back, man. I know you hate it when I ask this, but… What's actually going on in that head of yours?"
"It's just…" Luca's gaze shifted before he leaned over, laying his head on Lucian's shoulder. "Everything feels too loud again. It's like the second I start to feel okay, everything comes back."
Lucian dropped his hand onto Luca's shoulder, leaning against the headboard, "The noise never leaves, you just forget it's there for a bit… It doesn't mean you can't get to a point where you can't get past it."
"I know. I just…" Luca sighed, lifting a hand to his face in frustration, "Every time I think I've got some semblance of control, something reminds me just how easy it is just to lose it all over again."
Lucian shifted his hand and grabbed Luca's off his face, holding it on his shoulder instead. Luca glanced at him, and Lucian snorted at the gaze. "You're human, Lu. You care too much, you always have, but it's not a weakness, man."
"You say that like it's a good thing." Luca scoffed.
"It is." Lucian squeezed his hand. "It's what makes you write the way that you do. Just… don't let it eat you alive in the process, you know?"
"I'm trying." Luca tried to pull his hand back to run it over his face, but Lucian kept a firm grip that made Luca sigh in defeat.
"I know." Lucian sighed. "You don't have to figure everything out tonight."
Luca glanced at him, sighing, but stayed quiet.
"Don't overthink it." Lucian folded the page, resting it between two fingers as he offered it back, finally releasing Luca's hand. "Let the song tell you what to do, not your head."
Luca glanced between Lucian and the page before finally taking it back. Unfolding it to reread the contents, even though he had read it enough to memorize it, then sighed. "You think it fits?"
"The lyrics?" Lucian nodded, "Yeah. The rest of it? I think you already know the answer."
Luca set the page down on his leg, leaning his head back with his eyes closed. Lucian looked him over before finally sliding back off the bed to stand up. "Try to get some rest, Lu. We have a dance call tomorrow at ten."
"Yeah. I know."
Lucian sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Pausing by the door, he glanced back at Luca, who still had his eyes closed, unmoving from his position, but mouthing the lyrics from the page. "She's not entirely right, you know."
Luca opened one eye, looking at him.
"Mutiny isn't the only thing missing something," Lucian spoke softly, "Blueprint Rebellion is."
Luca opened his eyes fully as the door clicked closed behind Lucian. He sat in the silence, staring at the paper. He bit his bottom lip as he reread the lyrics, eventually reaching over to the nightstand to grab his songbook, opening it to a blank page. He tapped his pencil for a moment before finally giving in and writing at the top of the page.
'Blueprint Rebellion Album | Track: Crossroads.'