I don't know how I made it back to the apartment. All I know is that Gael was already holding me, rocking me as I cried. She kept rubbing my back, trying to calm me down, but it was useless—because even I couldn't calm myself.
My hand was still clutching my chest. It hurt too much.
"Gianna, please tell me what happened," my cousin pleaded over and over. "I'm really worried about you."
"Stop crying already. You might get another attack," she added anxiously. She stood up, grabbed my inhaler, and placed it on the bed beside her before rubbing my back again.
I clenched my fists and hugged her tightly.
"He just used me, Gael," I sobbed. "I'm so stupid, Gael! I'm so stupid!" I kept repeating it through my tears.
I clutched my shirt, feeling the sharp pain slicing through my chest. In just a few seconds, my breathing shortened rapidly.
"Gael…" I called weakly.
"Wait—" Panicked, she grabbed the inhaler and handed it to me. I took a quick puff, but it felt like the heaviness in my chest barely eased.
"Just breathe," she said, rubbing my back. After a while, my breathing finally loosened, and I leaned against her, tears still streaming down my face.
"Gianna… I don't know what's happening to you. Please, tell me," she insisted.
We both looked at my phone when a message came in.
> Gianna, please let me explain
My fist clenched as I read it. Gael picked up the phone beside me and read it too.
"Gianna?" she asked, confused. "What… what is this?" She looked at me.
"G-Gael…" I stammered. I had no choice when she pushed me to tell her everything.
Her expression turned to shock after I finished. She looked like she couldn't believe it.
"So… what they're saying is true?" she asked.
"Huh?" I replied, confused. She stood up and scratched her head.
"Do you know I almost got into a fight because of the rumors that jealous Anna on our floor has been spreading? She said there was something going on between you and Sir Locan—and that someone even saw you holding hands! And now…" She grabbed her head. "I don't even know what to say, Gianna!" She turned her back on me.
"I'm sorry…" The word slipped out as tears fell again. Gael immediately pulled me into a tight hug.
"What are you saying? It's okay. Stop crying—you might get another attack," she soothed.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry for hiding it from you. I didn't know he would do this to me. I made myself look like an idiot, Gael!" I hugged her tightly, burying my face into her shoulder.
"Shh… it's okay."
"I'm so stupid! So stupid for thinking everything was real! I wish… I wish I never tried!"
"It's okay." I heard her voice tremble before she sniffed and wiped her nose. She was crying too as she held me.
"Don't worry. I'll make sure he regrets what he did to you. I promise," she said, tightening her embrace.
---
I woke up in a familiar place—the plaza. In front of me stood the man I hadn't seen for months.
"Paulo…" I called softly. He turned toward me and walked closer. I hugged him, but he pushed me away.
"Let's break up, Gianna. I'm tired of you," he said coldly.
I felt tears spill from my eyes. I held onto his hands tightly.
"Pau… you're just joking, right?" I asked, hoping he would tell me it was all a joke.
But slowly, he pulled his hands away.
"I'm sorry. But we're done," he said before leaving me there in tears.
I bowed my head, feeling the intense pain crushing my chest. My vision darkened, and I struggled to breathe. I wanted to scream, but I had no strength.
I nearly pounded my chest from the pain, hoping it would lessen—even just a little—but it didn't.
"P-Pau…" I called, but he was gone. I wanted to ask for help, but my strength was slipping away.
My knees gave in, and I knew I was seconds away from collapsing—
—but arms caught me.
"Gianna, wake up! Gianna!" I heard Gael's voice as my vision faded.
"Gianna!"
I jolted awake, gasping for air. My hands were shaking.
"Gianna? Why are you awake?" Gael asked. "Wait… were you having a nightmare? Look at you—you're drenched in sweat. Hey, are you okay?" she said worriedly. "Hold on, I'll get you some water." She stood and left the room.
I stared at my hands.
Why?
Why did I have to go back to that moment?
Why did I have to relive the event that traumatized me?
What will happen to me now?
Am I going back to how I used to be?
I don't want to. I'm afraid of feeling that again.
I clutched my chest, and once more, I broke down—