Having been lectured in turn by both old men, Sirius finally settled down.
Tom continued the tour. "What you've seen so far is only the surface level. There's an underground vault as well."
"An underground vault?" Sirius blinked, startled. "Tom, you're genuinely building this thing to rival Gringotts, aren't you?"
Tom shrugged. "Leaving your money in someone else's hands never feels particularly secure. Even wages you've already paid out have a way of finding their way back to you somehow. Who actually trusts Gringotts's credibility these days?"
"Might as well build my own vault and keep everything there, ready whenever I actually need it."
"Come on, the staff are waiting for us down in the vault. You'll see for yourself."
The mention of staff caught Sirius's attention instantly. He'd wondered before how Tom planned to fill the Guild's staffing gaps. Most of the work would be clerical, and clerical work happened to be the single most miserable task for the wizarding world's endless supply of academic underachievers. Even the Ministry struggled constantly to find wizards capable of writing a coherent report.
If Tom were only opening a single Guild branch, that would be manageable enough. But he intended to open ten of them, all at once.
Nicolas seemed to sense something coming, a faint smile tugging at his mouth, curious to see exactly what Tom had cooked up this time.
A low rumble sounded as they descended into the basement. Tom pressed his palm flat against the door, and magic raced through the intricate carved patterns like lightning as the heavy bronze door swung slowly open.
The vault's walls were studded with countless crystal orbs, all of which flared to life with a soft glow the instant the door opened.
"Merlin's beard!" The moment Sirius took in the sight before him, he stumbled back two full steps.
Dozens of identical figures stood arranged inside, every one of them dressed in crisp, tailored clerical suits, arms at their sides, faces neutral, eyes still and unblinking as they looked straight ahead. The eerie uniformity of the array was unsettling in the extreme.
"Such a coward." Tom shot Sirius a faintly disdainful look.
Sirius bristled, too proud to let that stand. "I'd like to see anyone stay calm walking in on this!"
Nicolas and Newt both turned their gazes from the constructs over to Sirius in unison.
Sirius: —
Fine. He'd just been caught off guard, that was all.
Tom snapped his fingers, and a spark of light flickered simultaneously through every construct's eyes, their blank expressions softening at once. They bowed slightly in perfect unison and spoke as one.
"To the stars and the abyss beyond, welcome to the Wizard's Guild. I am Catherine, Guild Administrator."
"Tom, what exactly is going on here?" Sirius felt a chill crawl across his scalp. The sight was simply too strange for him to process.
"Constructs." Tom said it like it should have been obvious. "I'm an alchemist. Using constructed golems to solve a worker shortage seems perfectly reasonable, doesn't it?"
"Reasonable. Extremely reasonable."
Nicolas had already wandered over to inspect the constructs up close, circling them, studying every detail. A living person subjected to that kind of scrutiny would have grown irritated by now, but Catherine simply maintained her pleasant customer-service smile, not a trace of impatience anywhere on her face.
"You little devil..." The old man clicked his tongue. "Say what you will, but this level of human-form transmutation genuinely reaches a height I never imagined possible."
"Of course it does." Tom said it with obvious pride. "This happens to be my primary field of study."
He had a Mind Avatar entirely dedicated to researching flesh-and-body vessel work, striving to craft the most perfect possible body for both Andros and Ariana to eventually inhabit. Except neither of them had actually used one yet, and here he was already repurposing the technique to build workers instead.
"But why constructs, and not true alchemical life?" Nicolas turned, giving the young man a faintly disapproving look.
"Cost efficiency." Tom sighed. "You already know how horrifying the time and material costs are for true alchemical creation. These fifty Catherines alone would drain every last bit of my current stockpile. There's simply no way I could produce them at scale right now."
"And this is only the beginning. I'll need far more Catherines going forward. I can't exactly pour every ounce of my effort into this one project, can I? Constructs are simply more practical, cheaper, and faster for me to produce."
Nicolas fell quiet at the explanation, forced to admit the logic held up.
Sirius, meanwhile, looked thoroughly lost, unable to grasp what actually distinguished one from the other.
Catherine might have been dismissed by both Tom and Nicolas as merely a "construct," but the underlying technical achievement was hardly modest. Every single Catherine carried a vast store of general knowledge, mastery of over twenty languages, and the ability to communicate instantly with one another through Communication Runes.
Beyond that, they could all upload information and intelligence directly to a shared database, retrievable and searchable at any time.
Since they were purely clerical staff, Tom hadn't bothered adding any combat capabilities. Even if one were damaged beyond repair, he could simply construct a replacement and "download" the necessary data straight into the new body, with no discernible difference from the original.
Once Tom finished demonstrating the full range of Catherine's abilities, Nicolas nodded repeatedly, genuinely gratified to see how far Tom's alchemy had continued to advance. Sirius, meanwhile, was starting to feel entirely unnecessary.
With an army of Catherines already handling everything, was there really any point in him being here at all?
"Of course there's a point." Tom caught the worry on Sirius's face and clapped him on the shoulder. "No matter how capable they are, they can't handle unexpected situations that fall outside their programming. That's exactly where you come in, making the calls they can't. And if you're ever unsure yourself, just reach out to me."
"Right." Sirius nodded firmly, deciding then and there to stay out of the smaller day-to-day matters going forward. None of it interested him anyway. He'd rather stick to the tasks with a bit of actual excitement to them.
Once the full tour of the Guild headquarters wrapped up, Tom headed home with Nicolas and Newt, leaving Sirius behind with Catherine to finish arranging the venue and purchasing whatever office supplies were still needed.
Sirius even put together an enormous sign to hang above the entrance, the words "Wizard's Guild" glowing in shifting rainbow colors, immediately drawing the attention of every passerby and shopkeeper along Diagon Alley.