At the H.A.N.D. headquarters, an oni, a pink-haired secretary, and an archer were engaging in a silent conversation with their eyes.
Yanagi sighed.
Yanagi, Harumasa, and Sokaku's workload had significantly decreased since their Chief was currently recovering from a head injury, and while they normally would've been enjoying this impromptu break, Section 6 just... Couldn't.
The reason?
Hoshimi Miyabi had been acting strange.
It was a fact that they had been eerily aware of as of late.
Their Section Chief, the youngest Void Hunter in history (recorded history at least), had been on her practically factory-new phone almost every waking hour for the last two days.
It wasn't like she was even doing anything with it either; she was just staring at the screen with a look of utter concentration.
This sudden phone addiction had become a source of unease for Section 6, even more so because the usual training fanatic was disturbingly idle.
Sokaku and Harumasa had their own theories, but Yanagi personally attributed this sudden change to a certain brown-haired demolition expert.
'Was the strength disparity so vast that Chief fell into despair?'
She studied Miyabi's expression.
'No... Chief looks too focused."
Yanagi thought for another moment.
'Is this perhaps a new training method?'
Miyabi was rather well known for her odd training practices, after all.
'I can't rule it out, but that doesn't seem to be the case...'
Yanagi thought once more, this time, though, her eyes drifted to Miyabi's head.
'It couldn't be the head injury, could it?'
A wave of panic coursed through Yanagi's system.
'No way! Did that bastard make Chief lose the last 3 brain cells she had left?!'
With trembling pupils, Yanagi shot another glance in Miyabi's direction, but this time the thoughtful form of the Young Void Hunter was nowhere to be seen.
"Yanagi. Could you... Help me with something?"
"Huh- Chief?"
Miyabi handed Yanagi her phone.
"This..."
Miyabi scratched her cheek with a slightly embarrassed expression.
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Illya had been staying with Victoria's housekeeping for the past day or two, and he had sort of adjusted to the odd tempo of the household.
For one, it was quiet most of the time, with Ellen at school, Lycaon always out on missions, and the one maid he hadn't met, Corrin, currently away.
It's not like Illya minded much, though.
He was quite busy figuring out why the hell New Eridu property was so retardedly expensive.
18 billion Dennies was how much the mayor had told him it would cost to rebuild the entirety of Sixteenth Street after the Hollow collapsed, and if Illya wanted the construction to happen any time soon, it looked like he would have to pay out of pocket because, well:
"ARE YOU SERIOUS??? Eridean Mutual, New State, and the rest of the residents' insurance companies aren't going to pay because housing is apparently a 'luxury'?!"
Illya genuinely considered issuing a series of anonymous bomb threats to those inbred thimble-headed corporate catamites who refuse to stop gargling the unwashed nutsacks of T.O.P.'s resident Denny whores, but the Mayor, predicting this, nipped that plain in the bud by having Rina and Lycaon track his inter-knot activities.
Now, unfortunately, all Illya could do was curse out those stingy bastards while dipping into his overwhelmingly immense retirement fund.
"Master Illya, would you like to try this pie I just made?"
The smooth voice of the Head Maid of Victoria Housekeeping rang in Illya's ear.
Rina, who had felt rather bad for the young Void Hunter, had spent most of her time cooking for the seething terrorist, hoping to somewhat quell his justified anger.
"Pie? Sure, just let me finish something up really quickly."
"If you'd like, I could bring a slice to you~"
Illya quickly finished up an email to Belobog Heavy Industries and closed his laptop.
"Nah, it's fine. I'm not really swamped with work right now. Also, I'd rather not eat alone if there are others in the house."
"Ah~ Well, thank you for your consideration then, Master Illya."
Grabbing his phone, Illya followed Rina down to the dining area, where an eldritch horror lay in wait.
Putting it lightly, the thing on the table was an artistically horrifying interpretation of something that vaguely resembled a pie-
Being realistic, he was staring at a 5th-dimensional cosmic cancer that had ascended from whatever twisted pit of hell decided to give birth to it.
There were numerous things wrong with the idealistic existence in front of him, but if Illya had to pick one thing that he found particularly horrifying, he'd choose the hazy, nightmarishly abyssal, vanta black fog surrounding it.
Indeed, Rina had just created the subject of Cthulhu's wet dreams.
With a grave expression, Illya gave the head maid an emphatic thumbs up.
"... Truly impressive."
Rina cradled her cheek and flashed him the brightest smile he had ever seen.
"Your praise is too much, Master Illya."
Illya was quickly guided to his seat by Rina, who was excited for the young Void Hunter to try her cooking.
"Allow me to cut you a slice."
Butlerboo, who had been cowering in a corner, brought Rina a chainsaw.
"One moment please~"
Still smiling, the maid revved it until it let out a roar more savage than most Etheric beasts.
Illya watched with morbid fascination as sparks began to fly through the air.
The P1{} let out a shriek as the chainsaw began to slowly tear through its [RU$+.
VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
"SCREAISDHO@#)(*((@!#(*&SCRIIEHHGGASD"
The struggle lasted for a little while, but before long, Rina proudly presented the dismembered corpse of a dimensional being on an elegant plate, a plate that was unfortunately corroding before Illya's eyes.
"Thanks for the food, Rina."
"It is my pleasure, Master Illya."
Picking up a fork, the Young Void Hunter tried to break off a small piece... But-
CLANG
"Huh. Interesting."
The fork in Illya's hand began rapidly disintegrating.
Rina's smile dimmed slightly, and Illya, seeing this, flashed her a reassuring look.
"I guess it's a finger food."
Illya gingerly grasped the [RU@+ and brought the P!{} to his mouth.
SQUELCH
Taking a bite, Illya's expression morphed into one of content.
"It's good!"
Rina's demeanor brightened once more, a happy smile spreading across her face.
"You like it?"
"Mhm~!"
Illya nodded as he took another bite.
Truthfully, the P!{} would be absolutely inedible for any normal person.
Rina had somehow concentrated so much corroded Ether into the ingredients that it would've killed lesser men.
The P!{} was practically an ethereal, and not one of a low rank either.
In terms of sheer etheric density, this P!{} completely outclassed Geppetto and Ninevah, and in terms of corrosive potency, it was probably 2.3x10^27 times greater than that of Hollow Zero.
Thankfully, Illya's constitution was rather special.
As a bona fide ether fision reactor, Illya's ether resistance was so absurdly high that he was essentially immune to all forms of corruption.
And thus, he was able to enjoy the shockingly pleasant taste of Rina's baking.
"Mm~ Buttery and sweet! And I think that's... is that pecan?"
"Yes! It's a pecan pie~"
Rina had finally found somebody who enjoyed her cooking, and the joy she felt was unbridled.
"Master Illya, would you like a cup of Coffee or tea?"
Illya swallowed another bite.
"Mhm~ Coffee would be great. Thank you, Rina."
"Then please wait a moment!"
Rina floated off to the kitchen with an energized expression as Illya tossed the last bits of P!{} in his mouth.
The Void Hunter used some of the ambient ether floating around the P!{} to strengthen his fingers, allowing him to tear off another piece and plop it into his mouth, and while Illya was chewing, he felt a vibration in his pocket.
'Did Belobog already respond?'
Hoping for the best, Illya took out his phone and checked through his notification list.
'A text from an... unknown number?'
Illya naturally felt a bit of aversion for unknown contacts because of a certain narcissistic pink-haired bimbo, but he checked nonetheless.
[Hi senior, this is Miyabi.]
'Huh? How'd she get my number?'
A hint of confusion spread across Illya's face, but he didn't dwell on it for very long.
He texted a reply without much thought.
[What's up? Didja need smth?]
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Harumasa and Yanagi were currently attempting one of the hardest challenges known to man:
Helping Hoshimi Miyabi text like a normal person.
"Chief, listen to me carefully."
Harumasa inhaled deeply.
"People our age don't really use punctuation while texting, so if you do, it might come across as too formal."
Miyabi tilted her head.
"But shouldn't I be formal? He's my senior."
Yanagi shook her head.
"It's a little bit of an odd situation, but Illya's still a young guy. Being too formal might strain the conversation.
Miyabi frowned.
"But... Senior is-"
Yanagi and Harumasa exchanged glances.
"Chief. You came to us for help, right?"
Miyabi nodded.
"Then listen to our advice!"
Harumasa passionately slammed his fist against his chest.
"My most used app is my message app! Trust me, I know what I'm doing~"
Yanagi's gaze flickered towards him.
"I thought you said your most used app was-"
Harumasa coughed into his fist.
"Anyway, Chief... Did he respond yet?"
Tearing her eyes from Harumasa, Miyabi glanced at her phone.
"Yes. He just did."
"What'd he say?"
Miyabi just passed him the phone.
Harumasa's eyes twinkled.
"Huh. I guess not all Void Hunters are... Uhm...."
He trailed off as Yanagi's gaze bore into him.
Harumasa quickly handed the phone back to Miyabi.
"Ahem~ Illya seems to be a pretty laid back dude, so I don't think texting him will be very hard... But, just to be safe, let's match his energy."
Miyabi frowned.
"Match... his energy?"
Harumasa nodded.
"Mhm~ Most of the time, people feel more comfortable around people similar to themselves. Since you're trying to get closer to him, mimicking his behavior and texting habits could subconsciously-"
"Wait, wait, Asaba- Are you sure we should be teaching the Chief this kind of stuff?!"
Yanagi frowned.
"This feels a bit... "
She trailed off.
Miyabi also looked a bit confused.
"I just want to ask him if he's available for a training session. Is it really that complicated?"
Harumasa shrugged.
"It'll be better in the long run. If you approach the situation like a junior asking a senior rather than a friend asking a friend, it could add some unwanted pretenses."
Miyabi's expression contorted with contemplation while Yanagi gave Harumasa another odd look.
"Asaba, you're rather... enthusiastic about this."
The archer nodded excitedly.
"This is the most interesting thing that's ever happened in this office!"
He laughed.
"Helping a Void Hunter slide into the DM's of another Void Hunter- Who wouldn't be enthusiastic?!"
Miyabi frowned.
"Slide into... DM's...?"
Yanagi sighed.
"Don't worry about it, Chief. It's just another way of referring to texting."
Miyabi nodded, committing the term to memory.
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(A/N: It's pretty late where I live, so I ended up cutting the chapter off a bit abruptly.
I was a bit busy with school-work and work-work yesterday, so I wasn't able to find the time to write.
Also, about the FML situation-
Since Miyabi is ahead by a landslide, I decided to do a bit of groundwork for any future relationships that might occur, but I'll leave a bit of wiggle room just in case a bunch of people vote for another character.
I'll probably start actually counting up the votes near chapter 50ish, so there's still a bit of time.
If you guys are enjoying this fic, add it to your collection and leave some comments.
Also, a few reviews would help since I'm tryna get a rating ykyk
For those donating powerstones for the bonus chapters, I'll be looking at the cumulative ps count rather than the weekly one.
Ty for all the support and I'll see you in the next chapter~)